There is practice, there is companionship, there is strength
Hailan Happy Home 2022 47th practice story
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At dinner, I talked to my husband about kicking the bed when he didn't sleep well.
I said to him, "If you can't sleep, you can take a deep breath, even if you sigh, let the breath flow smoothly, don't always kick the bed, that is not good for others and for yourself." ”
After listening, the husband said angrily: "Don't tell me this, I am not selfish with you!" ”
How does this make me selfish, I explained, "Do you know what I'm talking for?"
My husband was still angry and interrupted me: "Don't talk to me about that!" ”
The purpose of my saying this was originally for my husband's good, so that he could sleep well, but now it seems that the effect is the opposite of the goal.
Seeing that he had misunderstood my words, I hurried back to my goal and said to him, "I told you not to make you angry. ”
The husband was still trapped in the mood and began to vent his dissatisfaction: "Do you know that I am uncomfortable and still struggling to do housework?" I'm not like you, tired, I don't do anything. ”
Looking at the way he exhaled, I reminded myself: I should still shut up, stop answering the phone, and finish the meal first.
After eating, I sat down on the couch and began to take a deep breath.
I saw my discomfort after being denied, and I saw my desire to be recognized.
I said to myself, "What my husband said was angry, what he said when he was angry was not credible, I was already doing a good job, he wasn't sure he didn't approve of it, that was his business." ”
I also saw my husband's needs: he wanted me to see him, to see him pay a lot for the family, to see his difficulties, and to hope that I cared about him.
Moreover, the husband did not realize that stopping when tired is to love yourself, not selfish.
It's good to learn and grow, to be able to stop when you're tired, to stop when you have emotions, and to enjoy life more rather than being led by people and things in your life.
After a while, my husband came out of the bedroom to wash the fruit in the kitchen and beckoned me to eat. It seems that his anger has subsided.
This incident made me see my own growth:
1, can shut up in time, did not intensify the contradiction.
2, by the husband said selfish, when denied, you can see their own needs to be recognized, can comfort themselves in time, not by the husband's emotions to take away.
3, in the future, when communicating with my husband, I can also say this: "My husband sees that you are not sleeping well, I am very distressed, do you see this way?" Adjust the way you speak instead of making him sound advice.
Today's incident, because of my calm, my husband has gradually calmed down, and he took the initiative to talk to me first.
Our relationship is not alienated by contradictions, but on the contrary, we are brought closer by contradictions.
Author:Liu Shulan (Hailan Happy Family Practitioner)
Editor: Wang Li