When we are given a task, we will analyze the content of the work, formulate a plan, and implement it step by step until it is completed.
But, as parents, have we ever asked ourselves this question:
What is my mission as a father and mother, and what is my parenting philosophy? How do I embody these ideas in my interactions with my child? Have I carefully developed a parenting strategy like an entrepreneur managing a large business?
To be honest, I didn't think about such a question before studying this book.
After studying this book, I found that the reason why I have some unrealistic ideas about my children is because of my lack of awareness.
In the past, I always thought that children listened to their parents' words, because I myself was very obedient from childhood to adulthood, and I never disobeyed the will of my elders. It is also my own growth experience that I unconsciously continue this emotion to my children.
Only awakening can stop the emotional continuation of this kind of detrimental to the growth of children.
Why do good children have to be obedient? He is an independent individual, he has his own ideas, although he is the parent of the child, we should not impose our own will on the child.
Let's not:
Children, painting can not be eaten as a meal, you must be obedient, concentrate on learning textbook knowledge, and strive to enter a good school;
Child, the mother was not admitted to the prestigious university that year, too sorry, you have to obey, study well, you must help your mother realize the dream of a famous school;
Children, the work of civil servants is stable, the welfare benefits are good, you must be obedient, do not toss outside, and feel at ease to test for a civil servant...
As parents, we all want to teach the "best" to our children, but often, we tend to forget that the first thing parents should strive to do is to let their children enjoy their rights and let them live under the trajectory of their own destiny, which is the true reflection of their personality spirit.
Illustration of The Awakening of Parents
How to be an awakened parent?
Awakened parents are not practiced overnight.
No matter how highly enlightened we are, if we do not awaken our own rhythm of activity, it will unconsciously penetrate into our habits, thoughts, emotions, and appearances, and only by using children as mirrors and witnessing our own non-awakening from them can we have the ability to adjust them.
It can be said that children are using their growth to guide their parents' secondary growth.
Tell me about a growth story after I became a mother:
Growing up, in the eyes of my relatives and friends, I have always been the kind of person who is very patient and never loses his temper, and I think so.
It wasn't until the birth of the child and the baby that I discovered the impatience and impulsiveness hidden in myself.
One thing that is still grumpy is that he desperately dropped his son's favorite toy bus after his temper came up. I can't remember the specific reason why I was so impulsive at that time, but I remember that I had to throw the bus down like I was completely out of control, although my son was crying and crying "don't don't don't".
To this day, the broken bus is still his son's baby toy, and he sometimes reminds me, "Mom, I broke my bus." Yeah, how can it be forgotten? That bus, every day, silently reminds me: to maintain emotional stability, not impulsive.
Illustration of The Awakening of Parents
Unconditional acceptance of the child's most authentic state
When the child is still in the belly, we love that little life.
After the child is born, there are thoughts and various behaviors, and what we love and accept is still him.
Some of the actions suggested in the book will allow children to know that they have received acceptance that is entirely directed at themselves, not at what they do:
When they rest, please tell them how much we appreciate them;
When they are sitting, please tell them how happy we are to sit with them;
As they walk around the house, tell them, "Thank you for coming into my life";
When they hold us, please tell them how happy we are to hold their hands;
When they wake up in the morning, please write them a letter telling them how happy they are to wake up in the morning and see them;
When we take them home from school, please tell them how much we miss them;
When they smile, please tell them how warm our hearts are;
When they kiss us, please tell them how much we enjoy being with them.
To accept the child's most authentic state, we must give up the idea of "how it should be" and do not use our ideas to influence the child.
My son drew two mice in the interest class today, and my first feeling after watching it was: "How are these two mice so bright, where are there such rats?" Thankfully, I didn't say my "shallow" ideas. Instead, he asked his son why he had to paint it like that, and he replied happily, "I put on makeup for it, isn't it more cute?" ”
The child's world is imaginative and colorful, which is as "decent" and "old-fashioned" as I am?
Two mice drawn by the son
There are no perfect parents, there are no perfect children, calmly face their own "non-awakening", accept the most true children and the most true self, to harvest the joy of growing up with children!
The way to get along
There are interesting and interesting things and attitudes. Analyze the feelings of both sexes, the psychology of men and women, interpret the origin of love marriage and family, discuss the wisdom of getting along with friends in the workplace and friends, share love skills, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, learn children's parent-child relationship, family education, and make your life more harmonious.
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