The blind date man does not hold hands four times, what does he think?

Netizen question 1:

Blind date a man, quite honest and responsible, all aspects of understanding after feeling OK. But two months, four dates, no hand pulled. When we meet, we invite you to eat, go shopping, and watch movies, and there is no active physical contact. Is it waiting for me to take the initiative of a woman? I didn't want to pay attention to him. Someone else introduced a man again, and I was going to find the next one. What does he really mean?

My answer:

It is not whether the woman should take the initiative, but ask you whether you like him or not, whether you want to have physical contact with him, and whether you are interested in him.

I met a blind date for the first time before, first had lunch, after eating and talking, both sides felt good, did not want to say goodbye, and discussed going to KTV together. There happened to be one nearby, and then I wandered over, about twenty minutes, talking as I walked. Then two more hours of singing.

The second time he asked me to dinner, he didn't want to go home after eating, so he went to the movie, and halfway through he held out his hand to hold me. I refused. He didn't force it either. At the end of the movie, the female protagonist took the initiative to kiss the male protagonist, and he said that you see how active people are. I was speechless.

I feel that although the others are very good, they are still relatively fresh, and they are not familiar enough to hold hands. Maybe I'm a bit old-fashioned, and I think it's bad to be too fast.

Later, we met several times, but not to the point of physical contact, and then I felt that something was inappropriate, so I said goodbye.

And one of my buddies said, you are too conservative, I went to the hotel the first night I met my girlfriend, and you didn't pull your hand several times.

I asked him, you didn't meet for a blind date either. He said, play.

So a lot of times, you score people.

Questions like "How long can we get along to which step" have no unified answer, it still depends on your personal acceptance, and how the two of you feel.

If you have a crush on him and want to hold hands, you can give him some hints.

For example, you don't have to pull him directly, but when you cross the street and go up the stairs or sit up suddenly, you can say oh you pull me.

Since you know that he is honest and honest, it may be that he has no experience in love, does not know how to grasp this degree, and is shy, or afraid that you will be disgusted.

But you said you wanted to see the next one, did you really like him?

Netizen question 2:

When the blind date first met, he was very fond of me and sent me something to show his heart. But I'm afraid that girls who behave too obviously are very casual, and they are a bit reserved. I was quite proactive in the conversation later, but I felt as if he wasn't as enthusiastic as he was at the beginning. I mentioned it to him, he said that he was busy at work and didn't like to chat very much, I was afraid that if he didn't like me, I was a little uncomfortable, played a little temper, and the message he sent deliberately took a long time to reply, wanting to see if he would coax me. As a result, he rejected me after a day. His parents were very fond of me and told me he wasn't like that. I also admitted my problems and mistakes to him, hoping that he would forgive me, and he also said that he could not respond to me, and rejected me again. But I really like him, how can I get it back?

My answer:

A lot of times things have room for relaxation, not the literal meaning of what he says, because that just represents what he was thinking at the time.

Things are all changing and developing, and people's thoughts will also be affected by various internal or external factors such as mood and environment.

All you need to do is find an entry point, find the crux of the problem, and prescribe the right medicine.

For example, I listened to a trial lesson before and thought it was good, but then when the teacher started selling formal courses, I didn't plan to buy it. Why? Mainly I felt the price was slightly higher and exceeded my psychological expectations. Problems such as the time of the class and the content are actually fine. I was entangled, so I said let's go with the flow and stop thinking about it.

After two days, the teacher sent me a private message to mobilize me to buy a class, saying some advantages in all aspects. Originally, I thought it was okay to buy it or not, but I thought that the teacher said that it was so, and finally I bit my teeth and stomped my foot to buy it.

This shows that people's thinking may be changed, even if subjectively determined, under the action of external forces, there may be variables.

Especially some ambiguous ideas, he may not know whether it is right or not, good or bad.

You analyze it. He sends you something, you pretend to be reserved; he takes the initiative to find you, you are perfunctory, deliberately long before returning; you want him to coax you, but he refuses to talk again.

Your making and making trouble, playing carefully, have a counterproductive effect in front of him, and he feels that it is unnatural, too tired, and uncomfortable to get along with you.

Yesterday I stumbled upon a sentence that seemed particularly fitting: Your current relationship is not yet at the point where he feels responsible for your emotions.

You're angry, you're unhappy, you want him to coax you... Can he coax it? No one is short of aunts and grandmothers, really.

It's not easy to be tired, you are not boyfriend and girlfriend, just blind dates, you let him feel pressured, who dares to have a future with you?

If he is really busy at work and does not like to chat, then he has done so much to you before, and maybe he really can't afford to give more, and he can't stop your bad temper.

You admit your mistake and he says he can't give you a response? Or is it another explicit rejection of you?

But either way, it was his thoughts at the time. If he doesn't have any other blind dates at the moment, you can take the initiative to greet him every day and brush up on his sense of existence.

No need to send a small essay, he may not be in the mood to watch. You can post some topics that interest him, or interesting pictures or something like that. If he ignores you, you only send three times a day, and then every other day or two.

Don't be aggressive, don't force him to immediately determine something with you, don't say sorry or anything, you can express with practical actions that you have a good feeling for him, care about him, and want to continue to contact.

Use your brain to think about what he said to you before, interpret his personality and hobbies, and praise and support him appropriately. In short, it is subtly influencing him and making him feel that you are not so extreme and not doing that.

If his opinion of you changes, he may reconsider you one day when he is happy.

At the same time, you can also win over his parents, after all, they are quite approve of you.