Wu Xin said: "I will be cautious about getting married, because I am almost 40 years old, and if I make a decision as soon as I get on the top, I feel as if I can't explain it to myself." ”
In "Mao Blood", Mao Is not easy, Li Xueqin and Wu Xin, three people, unconsciously talked about love. At that time, they asked Wu Xin if he was talking now, and Wu Xin said no. But she said that it is okay to fall in love, and marriage will be more cautious, because: "If you first put aside your parents or public opinion in society, you will feel that if you rush to get married, you will be sorry for yourself." ”
After hearing this, Li Xueqin asked Wu Xin, "Will all the decisions you make now start from yourself?" ”
Wu Xin said: "I don't know if this is called selfishness, but I really think about myself now." ”
Li Xueqin said: "I think that when a person reaches a certain age, he will naturally reach such a state, that is, I have to consider my own situation first. ”
Mao was not easy to understand and asked, "Is this about age?" Or is it because I've experienced something? ”
Wu Xin explained: "It is when you are in your twenties and teens that you feel that life is very long, I want to realize the value, let all people like me, because this is a sense of satisfaction and identity in society, but you are 40 years old, you have been in the society for so many years, you will feel that others do not agree with it is not so important, you care more about whether you like yourself or not, I think the biggest change in these years is that you will better consider others after taking care of yourself, you were not too good before you were yourself." And then you have to worry about other people's things, it is possible that you are just worrying about it, and others can't feel it. ”
When I heard Wu Xin say this, I suddenly felt that Wu Xin was so sober and transparent.
In fact, similar words, I have heard Da Zhang Wei say: "I always feel that all the happiness and sadness in the world are because of interpersonal relationships, as long as you give up everyone's expectations of you and want to be free, you must have the courage to be hated." I was able to fall asleep later, but I didn't care if people liked me or not, and I began to hypnotize myself with this. I'd rather others not like me, and I want to like myself. ”
Think about it, it really is. A lot of our troubles now, in fact, sometimes in the final analysis, are afraid that "I am not liked."
Maybe someone else's words, an action, or a look will make you sensitive and sullen.
But Zhang Wei said: "Freedom is to have the courage to be hated." ”
This experience of Da Zhang Wei probably stems from a book he often reads, "The Courage to Be Hated." The book is based on the dialogue between philosophers and young people, and it is effortless to read. Throughout is the principle of Adler psychology.
The author tells us: The ideal relationship is that I love you, but it has nothing to do with you.
In life, everyone has their own independent topics, and everyone has their own things that need to be solved.
As long as our sense of boundaries is clear enough, always remember: Is this something to do with me? If not, then why bother with yourself?
Cai Kangyong once said: "Is it important to like that? Shouldn't there be a better reason why we're alive? ”
Yes, we should live for ourselves, what do you do with the pointing and pointing of those passers-by? Does it matter whether they like themselves or not?
