Friends' children have depression, the child is in the second year of junior high school this year, before has been the class bully, cheerful and lively, but in the past year, the child has changed particularly much, silent, do not like to talk, the child's mother thinks that this is a normal performance of entering puberty, and did not think much.
But after the beginning of this semester, the child's state is not quite right, he does not love learning, his grades have declined, and he even has a sense of boredom, refusing to go to school, and locking himself in his room every day.
No way, the friend took his son to see a psychologist, and the result turned out to be "moderate depression",
My friend cried and said to me, "There is no sign at all, how can I suddenly be depressed?" ”
According to the "Report on the Development of China's National Mental Health (2019-2020)" released by the Chinese Academy of Sciences, the depression detection rate of Chinese adolescents in 2020 was 24.6%, of which mild depression was 17.2% and severe depression was 7.4%. That means almost 1 in 4 children is depressed!
In the eyes of parents, the child's psychological problems are sudden, in fact, all the psychological problems are slowly accumulated, before the outbreak, has been released in the child's various behaviors.
If these 12 signs appear in the child, it means that he is on the verge of collapse, and parents should pay more attention.
Signal one: boredom
When children suddenly do not like to go to school, parents usually think that the reason lies in the children themselves, that the children are not angry and want to avoid learning. In fact, if the child has a serious aversion to school, it must be an outbreak of psychological problems caused by many factors.
Maybe it was the heavy workload that left him breathless;
Maybe it's because of the boredom caused by the disapproval of the classroom teacher;
Maybe it was the experience of school bullying that caused the child to be afraid of fear...
Do not simply attribute boredom to the child's own problems, but help the child find the reason behind him and help the child solve the knot.
Signal two: There is internet addiction
Some children are addicted to the Internet because they can only find a sense of identity and self-confidence in the virtual world.
Virtual self in the game cornices to walk the wall, slay demons, skills soaring, virtual self in the network can get the approval and clustering of fans, these real-life can not get praise and recognition, in the network are all satisfied, so their concentration from reality to the network, but also a manifestation of psychological problems.
Signal three: Start to like procrastination
Children like to procrastinate, not necessarily because of laziness, but also because of fear and lack of confidence! They are afraid of being criticized, they are accused, they are afraid that they are not doing a good enough job, and the only way to escape is to procrastinate and not do it!
Signal four: Don't like to go out at first
No child doesn't like to run outside and get together with their peers. If a child suddenly starts not to like to go out, stays at home, and does not even want to go out of the door, parents must be vigilant.
Signal five: Don't want to make friends
Even introverted children will yearn to have their own friends, because people must need to communicate, talk and communicate.
If your child is unwilling to deal with others and refuses to make friends, this is the performance of inner closure and cutting off emotional communication, and parents must pay attention to it.
Signal Six: Hate teachers hate classmates
If the child has a strong sense of disgust for the people around him, he must help the child find the root cause, is it not the child's psychological problems, and begin to hate the world.
Signal 7: Hayakoi
Children are in the emotional impulse period, will think that "love" is the whole of the world, once there is a contradiction or loss of love in love, it is easy to act impulsively, parents should be vigilant.
Signal Eight: Always messing around with things
As soon as you lose your temper, you will smash and fall randomly, which is not only a problem of poor emotional control, but also more likely that the child has accumulated too many things in his heart to vent, and parents should pay more attention.
Signal Nine: There is violence
People who like to use violence to solve problems, there must be a problem with their psychology, they are irritable, impulsive, and angry when they come up, it is easy to ignore them, and such children must be guided more.
Signal Ten: Fear of exams
Some children are nervous as soon as they arrive at the exam, sweating coldly, their hands and feet are cold, their hearts are beating faster, and they even forget what they have learned. A large part of this is due to psychological factors. Parents must help their children untie the knot in order to avoid "test syndrome".
Signal 11: Sleep problems
Insomnia, children who feel less, parents must pay attention. Poor sleep quality will affect people's physical health, emotional and psychological stability, and even become a vicious circle.
Signal 12: Bulimia, anorexia
Both overeating and anorexia are obvious external reflections of psychological problems. Do not simply regard the child's "anorexia" as "picky eaters" and the child's "gluttony" as "love to eat", but pay attention to mental health.
Parents should know that not all manifestations can be directly attributed to adolescence, especially if there are more than 5 signs on the child, parents must be vigilant and take the child to see a professional psychologist in time.
The recurrence of the epidemic and online classes at home have led to a rapid increase in the number of children with psychological problems. Being locked in the house every day; being urged by parents to learn and reprimanded; especially the anxiety of children in junior high school and high school for learning, so that many children's psychological defenses have collapsed.
The more this time, the more parents should realize the importance of psychological problems and learn to prevent problems before they occur:
1, exercise, exercise, multi-movement
Exercise causes the brain to secrete dopamine, a brain chemical that determines happy moods, and can help improve depression and relieve stress. Most of the children who love sports have a sunny personality, cheerful and optimistic.
The Center for Business Research of Nanjing University of Science and Technology published an article called "Students Commit Suicide Frequently, But Physical Education Students Are an Exception." The article mentions that sports itself is a kind of frustration education for students, which can not only exercise students' bodies, but more importantly, exercise people's will and spirit. In sports, children will experience falls and failures, which can well cultivate children's perseverance and improve children's ability to resist setbacks.
Especially for children in online classes, do not lock him in the house every day to study, but to ensure about 2 hours of outdoor exercise. Even if you can't go out, design some indoor sports to move your kids!
2. Communicate, communicate, communicate more
Especially after children take online classes, their communication objects are actually only parents, but most Chinese parents are not good at communicating with their children!
Chinese parents often say to their children every day that they are nothing more than "eating", "writing homework", "hurry to sleep" and other command-style sentences, and such sentences will make people feel very oppressive and very depressed.
Children are very much in need of communication, if the parents cut off the channel of communication, the child can only hold all things and emotions in the heart, sooner or later there will be accidents.
Therefore, parents, when there is nothing to chat with their children, movies, books, work and study, life anecdotes, gossip news are all chatted with their children, providing a channel for children to talk.
3. Relax, relax and relax
Chinese parents are too anxious.
When they see the child in a daze, they are angry; when they see the child lying on the sofa for a while, they hate the child for not seizing the time to study; the child has just finished a class, and the parents ask him to write homework immediately...
Parents wish that the child is a 24-hour non-stop spinning gyroscope, to keep spinning non-stop, and to turn faster than other gyroscopes! Eventually the child was exhausted and collapsed.
Parents should learn to let go of communication, relax, and rationally face their children's learning, and you will find that their children will be much better than they think.
As parents, we can't just stare at the grades, but we can't hear what the child wants to say, and we can't see the child's outstretched hand for help.
In the growth of children, not only the score, they also have inner growth, psychological health needs parents to pay attention. Pay more attention to the child, care more about the child, and see the child more, in order to help the child become a truly healthy and truly excellent person from the inside out.