In life, we often encounter children who are emotionally unstable for some reason, and in the face of this situation, parents often do not know how to appease their children and help their children stabilize their emotions.
Sun Li once sent a Weibo: she said: "When a child has dissatisfaction, anger, sad things happen, all he needs is a hug from you, don't preach, understand him from his point of view, support him, and encourage him." ”
When we find that our child is in a bad mood, we can do this:
1. Allow your child to express their true thoughts
The first step to stabilizing the child's emotions and getting rid of anxiety is to allow the child to express true thoughts, see the child's emotions, affirm the existence of pessimism, and encourage them to say their feelings. Many feelings stay for a long time, often because we have a strong disapproval of feelings, so these feelings do not have the opportunity to be completely expressed and released, so that we ourselves are trapped in it. So whatever the emotion, frustration, apathy, depression, anger, allows it to exist.
Therefore, do not suppress the child's emotions, but clarify the appeal behind the child's emotions. Abandon "I think, I think, I feel" to the maximum extent possible, listen carefully to the child's voice, and then slowly guide the child to say what he really thinks.
2. Listen to your child with empathy
German psychologist Carolla Schuster said: "In fact, when a child cries, the first thing that needs to be dealt with is the parent's emotions. ”
When a child has negative emotions, if we respond to the child by ignoring or opposing it, their self-esteem will be frustrated, they will have difficulty adjusting their emotions, and their ability to solve problems will be limited.
Empathy is the most effective way to alleviate children's emotional problems, it is difficult for children to understand the emotional process when they are young, empathy can effectively let children understand their inner feelings through the help of parents, and can improve the cognition and processing ability of emotions. When children express negative emotions, we can try to stand in their shoes, think differently, understand their feelings, acknowledge this feeling, and express understanding and consideration.
In addition to listening intently to the child's speech with the ear, we also need to observe the child's body language, facial expressions, gestures, etc. with our eyes, and most importantly, we must use our own hearts to truly feel the child's feelings. If you do not accept negative emotions, the child may be fine on the surface, but the inner "qi" still exists, and the emotional garbage accumulates more and more, and the last shot is out of control.
3. Stay in a daze for more than five minutes a day
Scientific studies have shown that people in a state of high pressure, is unable to effectively relax, this time, daze is a very effective method of regulation.
The time when the child is in a daze, just like the "blank space" in Chinese paintings, it seems that there is no painting, but it is indispensable. Daze, not only can reduce the risk of anxiety and depression, but also the alpha brain waves in the brain will be strengthened, thus playing a role in relieving fatigue and deep relaxation.
Even if it is only five minutes, it can freely experience a feeling and alleviate all kinds of bad emotions.
4. Let emotions flow
In fact, for emotions, what we have to do is never to control, on the contrary, we have to observe. If we can calmly and truthfully observe the emotion that is happening, looking at it "withdrew" is like looking at another person's emotion. Then, your emotional problems will be solved for the most part.
Therefore, we can help children write down emotions, describe emotions, and transform an invisible, panicked, uncomfortable feeling into something that can be defined. Children also learn that emotions such as anger, sadness, and fear are a normal part of life, an experience that each of us may have, and that it can be handled.
After observing, it can be slowly accepted. Or, try to use rational thinking to see what kind of "unrealistic" thoughts or mindsets are causing you to feel this way. In this way, the negative emotions will gradually fade, or even disappear silently.