When parents communicate with their children, the best way is to guide them head-on, face to face and be honest with each other. Carefully observe what the child is afraid of, try to eliminate their fear psychologically, overcome the tension, and then guide it.
Simple and rough ways can not let children correct mistakes, for children, the best way to educate is patient guidance.
Children who are "intimidated" to grow up will leave a psychological shadow for a lifetime. What is the right way to educate? Hopefully, this article will inspire parents a little.
Are you also using the police to scare children?
Children's education has always been the top priority of parents, and the way of education has become more in line with the development of children with the progress of the times. But not all forms of education are right.
For example, the following:
When children are naughty and mischievous, many parents will say to their children in order to stop their children's wrong behavior: "If you are naughty and mischievous again, the police uncle will come and arrest you, and you will not see your parents..."
This result has led to a series of "tragedies"
One evening, the police of the three major teams of the special police in Lu'an City received an alarm call from a big mother, who turned out to be a lost child who was running and crying on the road...
When the police arrived, they stepped forward to inquire about the child's situation: "What is the name?" Where do you go to kindergarten? ”
Who expected, did not see the police is fine, as soon as I see the police uncle, the child cried even more fiercely...
Frightened, the police quickly explained: "Little friend, we are the uncle of the policeman!" We are good people..." Even the kind aunt on the side couldn't look past it, and even helped explain it
But no matter how the police uncle explains, how to coax the child (and give gifts, take the child to the police car) will not help, the child is crying do not want ~ ~
It was not until half an hour later that the parents of the big heart found that the child had lost the police, but fortunately, the child was soon picked up by the parents and brought home.
It is estimated that throughout the process of coaxing the child, the subtext of the police uncle is: "What did we do wrong?" Am I such a nice guy?! ”
And the child in this frightened half an hour, the heart may have been silently praying: "The police uncle don't arrest me ~ don't arrest me ~ the police uncle is so terrible ~"
There is a fear of the police
Officer Chen of the three major teams of the Lu'an Public Security Special Police said afterwards that he wanted to gain trust by showing his identity as a policeman, but he did not expect the child to cry. And this may be because the child has a fear of the police uncle.
Officer Chen said that on duty, some parents came to the police with crying children and said: "Don't cry, if you cry again, let the police uncle arrest you."
Don't use the police to "intimidate" children
Using the image of the police majesty and full-time catching bad guys to "adjust" naughty children is the "routine" that many parents use to educate their children, but is this really feasible?
Such a way may have an immediate effect, allowing the naughty child to be quiet for a while. But the parents undoubtedly destroyed the image of the police in the child's mind, resulting in the child's very wrong perception of the police. What if the child is really in danger and does not dare to call the police?
What other fancy scares of children?
Scare children with doctors and nurses
Children are uncomfortable and sick and dare not tell you, let alone go to the hospital.
Parents always want their children to have someone to be afraid of, and this kind of thinking is very deadly. Especially to scare children with doctors. Children who are afraid of doctors may become more resistant to seeing a doctor, treating them, or even seeing them as a threat. When it is really necessary to race against the clock to heal, the child's cooperation is the best "medicine".
Scare the child with the teacher
Be careful that before school goes to school, your child is already tired of school.
Almost all children will regard the teacher's words as "holy will", and you can imagine the importance of the teacher in the child's heart. Scaring children with such an important, positive, and positive image will make children afraid of going to school, even before they have enrolled in school, they already do not love to learn.
Children's ability to distinguish between right and wrong is far inferior to that of adults, and it is precisely when it is necessary to establish a correct outlook on life and values, and if we always hear these distorted facts, we may be very resistant to these people who are very helpful to us every day.
Scare children with monsters, tigers, and wolves
Children may be afraid of darkness, timidity, and even depression.
A mother said: My mother-in-law often uses the big bad wolf to scare her son, and she can't stop saying, "Don't sleep anymore, the big bad wolf comes to eat you" Once the kindergarten did an intelligence test, giving some pictures, there are foxes, sheep, wolves, my son saw the picture of the big bad wolf and began to cry.
In order not to let the child go to the river to play, the mother-in-law told the child that there were monsters in the river, and specially dragged the child into the water to drown. After this, the child was frightened and did not dare to go to the river again, and saw the small pool walking around.
Always using these unwarranted or normal animals to scare children will not only make children more timid, but even make children afraid of sleep, darkness, water and other things that are often frightened. Psychological cues left for a child may hurt the child for a lifetime.
Scare your child with mom and dad's love
"If you don't leave again, your mother won't want you; you'll cry endlessly, and your father won't love you anymore."
Because the way of threat is very effective, it often occurs in various situations in life where parents can't get their children, such as children playing outside and refusing to go home, refusing to do this, refusing to do that. Often seen in the mall: the baby has to buy toys, the mother does not agree, the baby cries and makes a fuss, the mother says "don't go again, the mother doesn't want you."
This extremely threatening sentence may be exchanged for the child's temporary silence and "obedience", but the child's heart will be very afraid, afraid of the most terrible consequences that are coming: "being beaten", "abandoned", "not loved"... This can create a strong sense of insecurity in the child.
Such an approach is more likely to cause cowardice, inferiority, and even hypocrisy in children, because they have long been accustomed to submission, and in the future they will be more likely to submit to "evil people" who are stronger than themselves, and thus more likely to be bullied.
Please stop this intimidating education
"Intimidation education" will bring worry and uneasiness to children, and will also leave some shadows on children's psychology, reinforcing children's fear of some unknown things, and even fear of social interaction, and even distrust of others.
And medical data show that fear is extremely harmful to human health. A strong atmosphere of fear and sudden fear events will make people's nerve centers be strongly stimulated by inferiority.
Children in the growth and development stage, the tissues and organs are more fragile, the function is not perfect, even if there is no critical symptoms after sudden fright, but because of its weak ability to resist fear, there may often be fear of emotional retention, so that the endocrine function is impaired, resulting in slow development, language disorders, hearing, vision loss and digestive system problems.
Proper education requires the patience of parents
The real goal of parents educating their children is not to make them afraid, but to make their children realize the mistakes of their behavior and go to the right path, and the way of verbal "intimidation" is absolutely not feasible.
Try replacing negative verbal threats with positive promises, such as replacing "I don't like you if you're disobedient and don't do your homework" with "Obedient, give you a little time to hang out after your homework."
If the child is still stubborn, we can also try to give the child more choices instead of just one choice, so that the child will feel more free and will be more receptive. For example, you could say, "Do you want to complete your homework before you play, or do you want to play before you write your homework?" Instead of saying, "You have to do your homework right away!" Otherwise, don't let you play! ”
When parents communicate with their children, the best way is to guide them head-on, face to face and be honest with each other. Carefully observe what the child is afraid of, try to eliminate their fear psychologically, overcome the tension, and then guide it.
Simple and rough way can not let the child correct the mistake, the best education for the child is still patient teaching!
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