The most rare practice of a person: keeping your mouth shut

Author | Fan Deng Reading · Su Mo

Anchor | Fan Deng Reading · Anthony

There is a story in the Jewish parable of wisdom:

A priest instructed his servants to go to the bazaar and buy back the most expensive and cheapest things.

After a while, I saw the servant bring back a tongue.

The pastor was puzzled and asked: What is the reason for this?

The servant replied: The tongue is a thing that is noble for good and extremely low for bad.

As the saying goes, the mouth can spit out roses, but also can spit out tribulus.

People who can talk make people feel like a spring breeze, and people who can't talk are extremely annoying and even cause trouble.

Keeping your mouth shut is the most rare practice for a person.

"Desire Mountain" said: "Soft tongue can break a person's bones and bones, and language can sometimes hurt people more than violence." ”

It is said that in a small village school, there has always been only one teacher.

Recently, a new teacher arrived, he was knowledgeable and helpful, the villagers liked him, and gradually the original teacher was snubbed.

The old teacher, who was getting more and more unhappy in his heart, casually vented with his wife: "The new teacher is from an unknown source!" ”

The next day, my wife turned to the neighbor and said, "I heard that the new teacher has done a lot of bad things." ”

Then the neighbor said to the neighbor, "I heard that the new teacher once committed adultery..."

In this way, it was added to the fire, passed around, and eventually evolved into a new teacher who was a wanted criminal in the adulterous department.

The new teacher had no choice but to leave.

At this time, the originator of the rumor, the old teacher, felt uneasy and decided to apologize.

Only to see the new teacher pull up a dandelion on the ground, blow hard, hundreds of seeds scattered with the wind, said:

"If you can get these seeds back, I'll forgive you."

The mouth is a bone knife, and the tongue is a killer.

Sometimes, your seemingly unintentional words may become a shadow and internal wound in the hearts of others that will never be indelible for a lifetime.

Keeping your mouth shut, not slandering others, not making things out of nothing, is great kindness.

Writer Gan Bei once shared a story.

In an interview, the girls who became famous were particularly grateful to their classmates and thanked them for their "shut up" grace.

It turned out that the girl's father was a security guard, and she had always felt inferior to herself when she was in high school and in adolescence, so she lied to her classmates that her father worked at a bank.

In fact, everyone knows.

But no one debunked her lies, but invariably chose to guard this secret for her and protect her self-esteem.

In "Sorrow Against the River", it is said:

A human mouth can save people, it can also kill people, and it is born to be human, so please be kind.

Seeing through does not say broken, seeing through is not debunked, is a respect, but also a kind of pushing oneself and others.

Director Dzongsar Rinpoche said:

Most of the time, the so-called straight-talking is just not willing to think about the other person's feelings.

Being outspoken and fast has never been a true disposition, but a selfishness without literacy.

Not long ago, the amazing scene at the 94th Academy Awards ceremony caused an uproar.

The host was actually slapped on the spot by the award-winning guest, Will Smith.

The reason is that the host ridiculed Smith's wife, Jada," for her bald head, but his joke was based on Jada's pain, and she had to shave her head because of alopecia.

Will Smith, who is eager to protect his wife, is naturally unbearable, so there is the opening scene.

There is a saying that goes well: "When a joke is built on someone else's wound, it is no longer a joke, but a handful of salt." ”

All the mouths cloaked in jokes are unobstructed, and in essence they are a kind of vitriol and malice.

The real ability to talk is not how amazing and witty you speak, but the ability to take into account the other person's feelings between words and make people comfortable.

In the gossip, there was a good story that Yang Daiwan, a talented woman in the Republic of China, refused to seek a mate.

After the death of her husband Qian Zhongshu, Fei Xiaotong, who had always been in love with Yang Dai, came to visit.

After the visit, due to the narrow passage downstairs, coupled with Fei Xiaotong's unrelenting love and frequent turning back, it was more difficult to walk.

Yang Dai then said: The stairs are not easy to walk, and you should not "go up in the future".

A pun, both to show their own attitude, but also to take care of the other party's feelings.

Yang Dai often said:

Obedience has art, and speech is exquisite.

The attitude you speak with is the temperature at which you treat people.

True cultivation is to have a ruler on the lips, speak in a measured manner, and express one's true heart, leaving room and decency for others.

Zeng Guofan pointed out in the "Book of Zeng Guofan":

"The ancient saying that fierce virtue causes the loser to be at two ends: long and proud, and many words."

From ancient times to the present, many people and many things are bad on one mouth.

In the late Tang Dynasty, Liu Yuxi, who was extremely popular as a young man, was relegated to the barren and inhabited frontier because of the "Erwang And Eight Sima Incident".

Ten years later, he was fortunate to be used by the imperial court again, and on the way back to Beijing, he was full of emotion and excitement.

On a whim, he blurted out a poem that ridiculed the ignorance of the emperor and the ugliness of the nouveau riche.

However, within a few days, his words were transmitted to the emperor's ears by the villain, and the thunder was furious.

As a result, his ass was not hot, and he was then degraded, this time to the more remote Lianzhou.

"The Pipe" said: Words are not thorough, but they hurt their bodies.

Speak without thinking, open your mouth, and only be listened to by people with hearts, become the handle of others, and cause trouble.

Lao Tzu also said: "It is better to be poor in words than to keep the middle." ”

The more a person talks, the more they tend to get themselves into trouble, and it is better to remain silent and keep the words in their hearts.

The smarter the person, the more he knows how to keep his mouth shut.

One day, Wang Xizhi's three sons, Wang Huizhi, Wang Caozhi, and Wang Xianzhi, went to visit the great general Xie An.

During the banquet, Wang Huizhi and Wang Caozhi talked, while Wang Xianzhi simply exchanged a few words of greeting and then remained silent.

After the three of them left, the guests present asked the general, "Who is the most promising of these three magi?" ”

Xie An said: "Small is the best." ”

Curiously, the guest asked, "How do you know this?" ”

Xie An said meaningfully: "Wise people have less words, and impatient people have more words." ”

"Ji people resign, manic people resign", the more people who talk are often impetuous and inactive, and the more people who can control their mouths, the more blessed they are.

Because, behind the careful words is good thinking.

Only by not being impatient, carefully screening and screening every information received can we see the situation and make the right decision.

As the saying goes, words are safe, and careful things are accomplished.

I've seen a sentence like this:

The words spoken are not a simple combination of Chinese characters, but the expression of a person's inner emotions and human realm.

Keeping your mouth shut is a person's most kind restraint and the most rare cultivation.

Always think about yourself, don't talk about others, cultivate yourself, and be cautious.

In this way, wisdom is opened.

Click "Watching" and encourage your friends.

Author | Su Mo: A woman with light in her heart, who loves to read and benefit life.

Editor-in-Chief | A doctor

Typography | Zheng to the north

Music | Dance on the white clouds