When you want to preach to your child, you must stop and think about whether you are really for the good of your child, or to satisfy your desire for control and alleviate your frustration.
- Lily's mother
This is a small story I wrote 5 years ago, and looking back now, although the parenting wisdom at that time was not as mature as it is now, the way of handling it was still considered to be clever.
It was a hot and dry afternoon in early summer, and my son suddenly wanted to go to the bookstore, so I accompanied him.
Regarding the selection of books, in general, he is free to choose, and I will not interfere too much. That day, when he selected a copy of Yang Hongying's "Ma Xiaojiao Discovery Journey to the World Museum", I instinctively remembered that when I bought him the book "The Most Beautiful Architecture in China in the Museum" last week, he did not even open it, only glanced at the cover, and then refused, "Mom, I am not interested, I don't like to read." ”
So, when I saw that he chose books about museums, I wanted to take the opportunity to educate him, and began to organize sentences in my mind, "Didn't mom buy you a book about museums last week?" Isn't it the same as this one? You don't like what your mother bought, you chose this kind of book yourself, since you like it, then go back and take a good look at the one that your mother bought for you..."
I think this way, in fact, because he does not read the books bought for him, and he feels that it is a pity that there will be such an instinctive reaction, a good nagging, a good subjective thought! Fearful! (Now it seems that my frustration is at work, and my instinctive reaction is not to be good for the child, but to make the child obey me, and I just feel like I am nagging.) ）
However, thankfully, I was just nagging in my own mind and didn't say anything.
At that time, I thought about it for a moment, if I said this, it is likely that he did not even have interest in buying this book, then didn't he close the door to the "museum" from then on?
Yang Hongying's books, he has always been not rejected, most of Yang Hongying's books have been bought back, this one may have been out of stock before, so today I encountered, Yang Hongying is "comics + popular science", more interesting, suitable for children's appetite.
"Huh!" I smiled in my heart, counted my heart, and when I went back, I would never mention the "museum" I bought, let him read his book first, and when the time was right, I would lean over and say, "Son, the building in your book seems to have it in the book that my mother bought!" Pretty much like that, come and see! ”
Of course, it may not be the same, but this is an entry point, he came to see, and then compared and contrasted, or will he be very proud and clever to correct and explain to his confused mother?
Sure enough, my purpose was achieved, and he read not only his comic, but also the more informative book I bought him, and as I expected, he PKed me.
"Mom, you see, what about my Louvre?" Your one doesn't! ”
"Baby, look at how beautiful the illustrations of this Forbidden City are, as if they were real, and there are so many pages!"
"Yes, Mom, yours is much more detailed than my book, but your one is only Chinese, mine and foreign, and lo and behold, Hagia Sophia!" How awesome is it designed! Mom you see! The world's largest gold museum..."
"The so-called good intentions, many times may be ill-intentioned."
Please don't be good for the sake of the child, but be good to the child.
Be wary of frustration that you have nowhere to go, and take away your child's curiosity and ambition.
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