Many parents are now very concerned about their children's financial education, and the following parents also pay attention to letting their children think rationally and manage their finances independently. But the children still encountered problems - borrowed money among brothers, but regretted it afterwards, how to deal with the conflict of interests of those close to them? Repay the money directly, or eat dumb losses? None of this seems appropriate. However, the following father's guidance is very wise, let's see how he does it.
This article is reproduced from the public number: May Three Ginger (ID: mayandginger)
Text丨May Editor丨May
Here's how it started.
About a month ago, Jiang's father took three gingers to visit the Berlin Modern Museum, and as usual, the four people first visited the main body of the museum, and then the museum's shop.
What exactly happened in the store is now unknown, but when the four of them walked out of the store, Da Jiang had a small spherical robot with a price tag of 250 euros.
In the summer, I also took three ginger to the modern museum, and I saw this robot in the store.
I also sighed: God, it's so expensive, what's the use, whose fool would spend 250 euros for such a thing?
Now the answer is out: my family's.
Buy it, I just think it's strange, Jiang's father usually spends money quite rigorously (picking the door), and it's not every New Year's holiday, how can he spend a lot of money to buy them a "useless thing"?
Dad Jiang shook his head: Of course not! They bought it with their own money, big ginger and two ginger.
The matter of "own money" began seven or eight years ago.
Self-management allows children to learn to think rationally
When Da Jiang was just in the first grade, he lost three and four times every day, today he lost a glove, tomorrow he lost a hat...
In order to let him experience "responsibility" and "cherish things", Jiang's father and I opened an account for him, sent him a few euros of pocket money every week, and set rules to let him "bear his own profits and losses":
If you lose something again, your pocket money bears half of the loss.
But if you don't lose something, the pocket money you save can be used freely.
This method had an immediate effect, and Da Jiang hardly lost anything again, and this account became his real pocket money.
Coupled with the New Year red envelopes, he not only saved a small amount of savings, but also "squandered" from time to time to buy himself some favorite toys and comics.
At first, every time he wanted to buy something with "his own money", I couldn't help but remind him:
This is not good, it is a waste of money, it is better to buy that.
It's also too expensive to be worth it at all.
Why buy comics? Buy a great book!
If you buy this, you will definitely not like it in two days, and you will play longer next to it.
Father Jiang sighed when he heard this, and persuaded me: "Good or not", "whether it is worth it", "Like it or not", it is up to him to feel and judge by himself.
We as parents, at most, can give a "reference opinion", should not directly tell him: you will like this, that is better for you, this is more worthwhile.
If everything is decided by parents, how can it be called "discretion"? How can he learn "how to spend money"? What's the point of pocket money?
I almost laughed when I heard it, Jiang's father is usually "busy with work" and almost does not participate in children's education, but now he actually comes to guide me?
He sneered in his heart, ready to watch his joke: Okay, you can do it.
Jiang's father really ruffled his hair. He said to Da Jiang: This money is yours, how much to spend, how to spend it, is your freedom. This thing, I personally think..., but in the end buy or not, like it or not, you can decide for yourself.
I was waiting to see the joke, and I suddenly felt a slap in the face: It's over, it sounds like that?
Jiang's father's method is "full empowerment" + "rational advice". It not only gave Da Jiang full "freedom of decision", but also put forward an objective view based on experience.
Da Jiang does not have the pressure of "being forced", nor the frustration of "obviously my money, why can't I buy what I want to buy", and can relax and think freely:
Do I like this thing?
Do I need this thing?
Does the parent's experience apply to me?
Half the time, Da Jiang will say: Well, after thinking about it, I think you are right, then don't buy it first. The other half of the time, Da Jiang said: Thank you for the suggestion, I still decided to buy it.
Isn't "rational thinking and independent judgment" coming? Even if he occasionally spends money on lessons, it can help him understand himself and the laws of social operation.
Looking at my "Wow, there is still this operation" look that I didn't have time to take away, Jiang's father said again: Money is very important to everyone, but people should not be enslaved for money, but should let money be used for themselves.
Give the child a certain amount of free access to money, so that he can understand money, use money, and rationally look at the relationship between money and people, rather than blindly "running after money".
Online help: What should I do if I see that my teammates are too unpleasant, but I can't think of words to go back?
However, the "pocket money free disposal" method insisted on by Jiang's father did have some effect, and over the years, Da Jiang learned to consume rationally, and his mind was also meticulous and thoughtful.
But I didn't expect that one day, Da Jiang would use his experience and scheming to "fool" his younger brother.
200 euros for the brothers
A lesson in conflict of interest was taken
Last Sunday night, I put Sanjiang to sleep, came to the living room, and found that Erjiang was still writing and drawing on the table, and he was writing, and he began to shed tears...
I walked up to him in three or two steps and asked him, "What's wrong?"
He looked up, looked at me with teary eyes and said: Mom, Da Jiang deceived me by 200 euros! Woo hoo... Most of my savings for half a year are gone, woo-woo...
As soon as I listened, was this worth it?
was about to roar and call Da Jiang over, but then thought again: No, although Da Jiang often uses words to tease his younger brother, he is very principled in money, and has never been "greedy for money" and "cunning", could it be that Er Jiang misunderstood?
I asked Er Jiang: Can you tell your mother how my brother cheated you out of your money?
Er Jiang sobbed and said: I paid 200 for the robot we bought last month, and Da Jiang only paid 50. Woo hoo... I've been saving money for a long time...
Oh, so it is.
I just said, Da Jiang has been in charge of his own accounts for many years, and he is very cautious in spending money like Jiang's father, how can he be willing to give out such a "huge amount of money"?
It turns out that the big head is from two ginger.
I asked Er Jiang: Why did you agree to give out 200? Your pocket money is much less than your brother's!
Er Jiang: Da Jiang said that he thinks this robot is very good, but his money is put in the stock account, recently lost some, does not want to sell, there is no money in the account, can only take out 50 euros... I thought he was pitiful and agreed...
I used to see fans on the Internet feel sorry for idols and spend money on idols, and I felt every time: What kind of family raises such fools? His own income is meagre, and he is not on the pole to spend money on idols who earn millions a year...
Now it turns out that I myself raised one...
I called Da Jiang over: I heard that when buying a robot, Erjiang paid 200 euros, and you only paid 50 euros, which is too unfair, can you make up the difference to him? And you said that "you have less money in your account", this is somewhat a fraud, right?
Da Jiang righteously refused:
First, this funding plan was agreed to by Er Jiang himself, and I did not force him at all.
Second, I said that there is "no cash" on the account, this is a fact, my stock account has been losing money recently, this is also a fact, I didn't lie to him!
Third, it has been so long since this matter has passed, he has never objected, why did he say it now? Is it because he regrets it? His regret is his decision, why should I pay?
Four, Mom, you are giving him a wrong guide, I am his brother, you can call me over to explain. If it is someone else, what right does he have to pursue others afterwards?
Listen, he actually taught me the other way around? How to go back?
It should be said: I have the final say in this family, I think it is unfair, let you return it, you have to return it.
Or: he's your brother, he's so sad, can't you give him the money back?
Alas, it doesn't seem to work.
One is to suppress him with the authority of his parents, the other is to kidnap him with affection ... When you are accustomed to convincing people in the new era, this kind of words are really a little unspeakable...
And think about it on the other hand, although Da Jiang's words are not sentimental, the truth is correct: although Da Jiang is a little "flickering", he is not forced or deceived, and Er Jiang should indeed be responsible for his own decisions.
If I forcibly take the lead for Er Jiang, it will only make Da Jiang feel unfair, and it will also make Er Jiang lose an opportunity to take responsibility for his actions.
After Jiang's father got off work that night, I was sad and told Jiang's father.
As a result, Jiang's father laughed: Great! What a valuable lesson! Er Jiang only spent 200 euros, no, he only spent 75 euros more, and learned such a valuable life experience! It's worth it!
I looked at him like a psychopath.
He finished laughing before explaining to me that anyone with whom you have a conflict of interest, no matter how close they are, should never believe 100% of his words.
No matter what happens or hears, you must learn to think independently, rather than completely listening to a person or a certain statement.
Isn't it worth celebrating such a life experience, at such a small price, at such a young age, which has been deeply experienced?
The next morning, Er Jiang's mood was still very low, and Jiang's father decided to talk to him before eating:
Daddy Jiang: I heard that you paid 80% for that robot.
The corners of Er Jiang's eyes immediately turned red: Well, Da Jiang he persuaded me to agree.
Daddy Jiang: Have you ever wondered why he would persuade you to pay more?
Er Jiang: If I give more, he can produce less!
Daddy Jiang: That's right! So the relationship between the two of you is called a "partnership with a conflict of interest", in which case can you still trust him wholeheartedly?
Erjiang hesitated: ... No?
Daddy Jiang: Of course not! Even your brother, who is so close, may want to verbally "trick" you if there is an obvious conflict of interest, making you act in a direction that is beneficial to him, so, what should you do?
Erjiang: Don't believe anything he says?
Dad Jiang laughed: Haha, not really, but I really can't fully believe 100%, independent thinking is the key. You have to ask yourself a few questions: What can the other person get out of it? Is this thing in my favor? Is the whole still worth it?
Er Jiang nodded thoughtfully.
Jiang's father smiled and hugged him: Congratulations, son! Learned a lesson that is especially important in life!
After chatting with his father, Er Jiang's mood improved significantly, and he gradually accepted the facts and stopped mentioning the "200 Euro" incident.
Dad Jiang had a good chat with Da Jiang again:
It's good that you're smart and good at convincing people, but you have to have a scale in your heart, what can be done, what is over the line...
Although you did not make a "mistake" in this matter, but you lost your brother's wholehearted trust, just to pay less, is it really worth it?
The bottom line of cooperation is the law, but the focus is on sincerity, and when you encounter a similar situation in the future, you can consider it, is it more beneficial in the long run to pay a little more sincerity?
Da Jiang is a rational child, he can always be impressed with "reason", listened to Jiang's father's advice, and nodded and pondered...
A "conflict" is also a growth
Just when I thought that this matter had turned the page, because of a small matter, the big ginger and the two gingers quarreled again, quarreled and argued, and took out the "200 Euro" incident to attack each other. One says "you don't have integrity" and the other says "you don't have brains."
After a lot of quarrels and darkness, the two finally used books to break off diplomatic relations, and started a war.
"Brainless" side preemptively:
The "dishonest" side relied on weapons to come later:
It seems that all economic disputes, no matter who is in whose hands the reason, fight to the end, and fight for military strength.
Fortunately, after a battle, the two laughed and had a vendetta. In the process of cleaning up the house together, they shook hands again and made peace.
Although Erjiang is a little "brainless" and Da Jiang is a little "dishonest", from the current point of view, "pocket money free disposal" has given Da Jiang and Erjiang a clear, specific and relatively mature concept of money.
In the process of a child's growth, financial education is an indispensable section, if you don't know where to start, you may wish to start by systematically giving pocket money and truly allowing children to "have their own control".
Maybe at first, I will feel like I was back then: "Oh my God, why did he buy this?" ”。 But if you stick to it for a long time, children's independent judgment, independent thinking ability, and economic acumen will definitely be improved.
May Sanjiang (ID: mayandginger), a doctor of economics living in Berlin, and his German teammate Jiang's father, have been fighting wits and courage with three boys for many years, using the most vivid examples to talk about the most practical parenting concepts.
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