For the kittens who are not related by blood, the mother is careful and considerate, gentle and loving, but slaps and kicks her own son.
This treatment is not as good as the cat's son, is the glasses boy in "Your child is not your child". He was 14 years old, dry and thin, with seven or eight hundred degrees of myopia.
01
A happy teenager in the eyes of others
The father of the glasses boy, the general manager of a medium-sized company, is very busy at work and has to go home at 9 o'clock at the earliest in the evening. He is well-paid, sociable, and wears handmade suits and custom leather shoes.
The mother of the glasses boy is a housewife, and she is very concerned about the education of the glasses boy. She communicates with her teachers regularly, and she takes good care of the food, clothing, shelter, and transportation of the glasses boy, and takes care of the food and living of her family. In the eyes of the teacher, she is a responsible and good mother.
The results of the glasses boy are not the best, but they can exceed 83% of the students in the city, which is also considered to be in the upper middle.
In order to make his grades better, his mother hired him as a tutor, or rather, a lot of tutors. Wu Xiaole, the author of "Your Child Is Not Your Child", is just one of them.
The glasses boy home has 4 floors, he has a separate study and a separate bedroom, compared to children of the same age, he has a luxurious living space.
He was picked up and dropped off by his mother in a famous car to and from school, using a brand-name mobile phone, a school bag with an expensive style with telescopic handles, and his clothes and shoes, all bought from department stores.
In the eyes of others, the glasses boy is a happy teenager, he has a rich family, a father who can earn money, a responsible mother, and his life makes many envious.
But Wu Xiaole, who has been a tutor of glasses boys, is always unhappy every time he thinks of glasses boys, and even thinks of the community where he lives, and his memory has become a burden.
02
Frightened teenager
The common language of the glasses boy's parents is the glasses boy's achievements. Dad expects the glasses boy to go to the best high school, and if he can't get into the best high school, he will simply go abroad to study early. Anyway, unknown high schools can't go to because of shame.
The results of the glasses boy are the CPI of the father to assess the mother, so the mother attaches great importance to the results. She told every governess that if he made a mistake, hit him, and I wasn't the kind of parent who favored his child.
The glasses boy failed the test, the mother will be very angry, from the mistakes he made in kindergarten to start counting, the more he said the more angry, and finally helplessly hit the glasses boy and let him continue the class.
The glasses boy is very sensible, and after his mother beats him, he will in turn comfort the tutor who is stunned, "Teacher, I'm sorry, you don't get angry, and don't resign." Next time, I'll do a little better. ”
The glasses boy is not stupid, his problem-solving ideas, his oral expression are very good, but once he wants to write the answer on paper, he stiffens.
He has a psychological shadow on writing answers, spending a lot of tangled questions. He was scared, by his mother, by his former governess.
Dad came home later and later, and Mom would say to the glasses boy, "You don't study seriously, Dad doesn't want to go home, and he is upset when he sees you, what should I do?" At this time, the glasses boy sat next to his mother, and the mother and son cried together.
Wu Xiaole, who is a tutor of glasses boys, wants to help glasses boys, but she can't do anything, she is just an outsider, she can't change anything, so she resigned.
She didn't know if the glasses boy had been admitted to the high school her father expected, or whether she had been sent abroad to study.
03
Parents' expectations of their children deviating from their original intentions
When the mother went out, she retrieved a few newborn kittens, and she was unusually gentle and considerate to the kittens, finding food and drink for the kittens, and taking care of the kittens with the glasses boys. This mother who treats cats gently is the same person as the mother who beats her son fiercely.
For kittens, the mother has no expectations and no requirements, and the love for kittens is unconditional. But the feelings for children are much more complicated.
Kittens and puppies, as long as they eat and drink every day, play and play, can live happily under the protection of their owners. Children are different, and the world that children face is much more complicated than that of cats.
Parents' expectations of their children are affected by many factors, from the surrounding environment, from friends and colleagues, from family.
Parents' expectations for their children are also different, expecting children to complete their unfulfilled dreams, expecting children not to follow their own old paths, expecting children to be able to live happily in the first place, and expecting children to become the best people and glorious ancestors...
Every expectation contains heavy love.
Children grow up in different expectations, accept the love of their parents, and at the same time carry the expectations of their parents. The child's growth is in line with the direction expected by the parents, then everyone is happy, but once it is not met, there will be contradictions.
In "Hello Li Huanying", Li Huanying said that "my daughter, as long as she is healthy and happy", let countless people cry in the cinema, which is the deepest expectation of mothers for their children.
But many times, in the face of the dazzling reality, this expectation is drowned out.
Our expectations of children have also deviated from the original direction.
If the child is as stoic as a spectacle boy, the parents will never feel that they have a problem. Once one day, the child resists in an extreme way, and there are unforeseen consequences, the parents are distressed, how can it become like this?
The problem has been around for a long time, it's just that we choose not to see it.
Of course, it is good for children to go to good schools and find good jobs, but if children have worked hard and still cannot achieve this dream, why force it?
If the parents of the glasses boy can realize this, the glasses boy will not become a heart-wrenching existence.