Uncomfortable, whose problem is it?

Because of rhinitis my nose has been humming, some people are very uncomfortable listening, whose problem is it?

This person shouldn't be humming all the time, as if this person shouldn't have rhinitis, is that true?

I was extremely uncomfortable, because of this person's snort, is this true?

If I am angry about this one in front of me, and some people feel uncomfortable, whose problem is it?

If I show arrogance in front of me, then some people see discomfort, whose problem is it?

If I show inferiority in front of me, then some people also see discomfort, and whose problem is it?

If I also show self-righteousness in front of this, of course, someone will be uncomfortable seeing it, whose problem is this?

Or this one in front of me is still showing a lot of calculations, no one in sight, crazy, self-talking, hypocrisy, boredom, shallowness, negativity and emptiness, pretending to be positive, hyperactive and ridiculous, nervous and nagging, luoli, good teacher, arrogant...

Someone sees it and is uncomfortable, whose problem is it?

Who's that uncomfortable?

Where exactly does the problem come from?

The so-called good or bad, right and wrong, are all because you believe the thoughts in your head about what should or should not be.

When parents (think) should or shouldn't be the same as children (think) should or shouldn't be, no problem.

When a parent's should or should not be different from the child's should or should not be, a contradiction arises.

In fact, what is really absolutely good or bad, right or wrong, should it be? Anything good or bad, right or wrong, should or should not be just relative.

There is a very cold little joke like this: "There is a kind of cold, it is your mother who thinks you are cold".

Similarly, there is a kind of fault and shortcoming that parents think (of the child's) problems and shortcomings, which is the first point that parents should perceive and even reflect.

Only when parents themselves first understand this, can they put themselves in the child's shoes to see the problem, and can they truly understand why the child is like this (think that it causes such behavior). Only in this way can we be unconceived by the relative perspective of the self-righteous, self-deluded narrow self.

Only on the basis of true understanding can it be possible to really solve the problem–the problem that the parent thinks of the child can truly realize that the problem comes from the self and not from the child.

In real life, the so-called "problems and shortcomings" can only be solved by the child if he also thinks that it is a problem. At this time, the child will be active, at this time there is no need for anyone to teach, the child will handle it better than the parents imagine.

The question is, can parents be 100% sure that these are really faults and shortcomings?

What happens when parents think it's a fault or a flaw?

What happens when parents don't think it's a fault or a flaw?

Are such faults and shortcomings really just children? Or can you see the shadow from the parents themselves? Or is the child's (behavior) the projection of the parent? Even the similar problems and shortcomings of the parent self are greater?

One can also question one's long-standing belief in "faults and flaws"—everything they think is problematic.

People usually think (they think) that faults and shortcomings are bad, at least at the time.

But, "Saion lost his horse, do you know the misfortune?" ”

The experience of life has led people to discover that sometimes, what people call "faults and shortcomings" are not necessarily bad, and it may even be (in the long run) that they are actually there to help them grow.

From the point of view of ultimately helping yourself grow, those who were once called "faults and shortcomings - those who have problems" are really a huge and valuable asset!

Look, someone is having such wealth, but they don't know it. In this way, people not only misread the problem, but also do not see the real face of things and things.

In fact, people have to admit that because I'm afraid (what I think "flaws, mistakes, problems" can have consequences) and because I believe in the stories in my head and cause discomfort, I think it's the child's problem, and the child should change.

see! In fact, it is clear that the parent is holding the child responsible for the parent (inner fear, worry, story).

Parents face the story of the mind self, let the child pay the bill, but blame the child for it, which is exactly what is happening to many parents.

Therefore, whose fault is it that those "mistakes" are? Who is it that wants to change?

For children, it's the same. If you feel that a certain behavior of your parents makes you uncomfortable, whose problem is it?

Between husband and wife, between friends, between colleagues, between superiors and subordinates, between people and me... The same goes for it.

In short, in the phenomenon of life, where do all the problems come from? This is what we need to figure out before solving the problem.

Whose fault is that "wrong"? Who is it that wants to change? Who's going to bravely try to do a survey? Not for anything else, only for the uncomfortable person.

The person who has really completely solved these two problems is the real adult - a large number of people also! Otherwise, even if you live ten thousand years, you will still be a child— the mind.