Text/Su Xin
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There is a story that the host wants to feast on a group of friends on his birthday, and a few friends who come first chat and drink tea, waiting for those who come later. But after a long time, those people still did not arrive, so the master said something like this: "Why hasn't the one who should have come yet?" A few people present here listened and felt that something was very wrong, that what should have come did not come, and the implication was that they should not have come, but they came, so a few more real people got up and left.
The master saw the situation and rushed to keep it, but the man still left. So the master sighed again and said, "Oh, I shouldn't have gone." As soon as these words came out, the remaining few people also quickly got up and resigned.
It's a clichéd story that reminds us of how bad a person can affect himself if he can't speak. Therefore, if you want to live a smooth life, don't say something that others don't like to hear.
The life of obedience often begins with learning to speak.
The friend told a story that he personally experienced, the company he worked for, the leader is a very young man, young and promising men will always be surrounded by some women who admire him, but this young man treats those women as friends, because he feels that his career still has room to rise, and he does not want to waste time talking about love when he is too young.
Once, a friend and his colleague went to sign a contract with a customer, and a colleague from the other company, out of curiosity, asked a friend if their boss had a girlfriend, and the friend's colleague said a thunderous sentence without brains: "He doesn't have a fixed girlfriend." As soon as this was said, friends and people from the other company smiled awkwardly and changed the subject.
Later, the company never worked with their company again, and the words spoken by the colleague soon reached the boss's ears. The latter thing naturally everyone does not have to guess, because the colleague can not speak, was "invited" out of the company by the leader.
Sometimes, we often complain about our bad luck, why can others find good jobs, meet people who are willing to reach out to help themselves, and get god's favor, but they have never encountered such a lucky thing?
In fact, that sentence is very correct: Heaven help self-helpers. God cares, must be prepared with heart, they know how to identify people, know how to seize the opportunity, but also know how to say what to say on different occasions, without these prerequisites as a foreshadowing, God can not help.
Among these prerequisites, learning to speak is the most important.
How can a person speak in order to get the favor of the god of luck, to be able to love, career, fortune, and so on? I think he should at least learn the following ways of speaking:
01 Do not say words of justification
We often see two people arguing endlessly because of something or a certain point of view, but the more fierce the argument, the more the argument is more fruitless, wasted time, will hurt feelings, and there are also many people who fight in a hurry.
There is a saying that goes well: "Arguing with people in different positions cannot produce results." ”
There is such an allusion that one day, Confucius's students saw a man dressed in green, and the green-clad man asked him how many seasons there were in a year, and Confucius's students naturally replied to him that there are four seasons in a year, namely spring, summer, autumn and winter. But this man shook his head and said that there were only three seasons in a year.
So Confucius's students theorized with him, and later the two found Confucius to comment, and Confucius did not hesitate to say that there were indeed only three seasons in a year. The man in green won, and he turned triumphantly and left.
Confucius's students were puzzled, and he asked Confucius, "There are four seasons in a year, so why did you just say that there are three seasons?" Confucius told the students that the man in green was a grasshopper, that he had only lived three seasons in his life and could not see the fourth season at all, so he was very sure that there were only three seasons of spring, summer, and autumn in a year, and as his student, he was still insisting on debating with a three-season person, wouldn't it be more foolish. The student understood confucius's meaning, and suddenly became enlightened.
This is what we often say: summer worms cannot speak of ice.
I agree with such a sentence: "Always compete with the same good, not with the fool." "People with the same ideas do not need to debate, and people with different ideas, even if they debate, you will not unify your ideas.
Justification is in a sense a kind of debate, but you have to know that the person who understands you doesn't need your justification at all, and the person who doesn't understand you, he doesn't want to hear your argument at all.
Therefore, one of the most undesirable acts in case of trouble is justification, which is not good for you except to make others think that you are suspected of shirking responsibility.
Instead of defending yourself with words, it is better to prove yourself with actions, and do not defend yourself when things happen, which is a truly mature person.
02 Don't say negative things
Sometimes, only if you dare to think, things will have the possibility of success. If you don't even have the courage to think about it, you'll never take the first step.
Positive thoughts are expressed in words, that is, positive words, which not only encourage yourself, but also announce to others your inevitable ambitions.
On the contrary, saying negative things will only make you less and less confident in yourself, and others will look at you in the same way.
There is a saying in the "Strange Sayings" that says it very well: "What makes a Tang monk a Tang monk is not a scripture, but the way to learn the scriptures." ”
When encountering difficulties, we can only overcome it with a positive attitude, to overcome it, otherwise you will always be a deserter in the face of difficulties.
When friends gathered, one friend fantasized that he would buy a big house of his choice and change to a car he liked within five years, but another friend sighed and said that wanting to achieve such a dream was comparable to ascending to the sky, anyway, she did not dare to be so delusional.
In fact, from the attitude of speaking, you can see the attitude of these two people's life, although the former does not have any money at present, but she likes to toss, no matter in which industry can see hope, and she is also happy to plan the future for herself tirelessly, although sometimes there will be some twists and turns, but every time she overcomes the difficulties, there will be no small gains. The latter, who worked peacefully in a small business for ten years, has a very stable job, but you can see at a glance that she will still be ten or even twenty years later.
In the face of difficulties, the mentality is different, the words spoken are naturally different, the brave people will always be active and forward, trying to overcome the difficulties by all means, while the weak are either satisfied with the status quo or escape from reality.
Different people, the scenery in the eyes is different, people always have to live a more active life, you have the opportunity to see a more beautiful scenery, even if you can't get what you initially fantasized about, but along the way, you will definitely become a different version of yourself than before.
END.