01
Our industry is relatively special, and we only started to work on the sixteenth day of the first month of the year, and at that time, I returned to Hebei because of the first day of the New Year, and at the beginning of the first month of the eighth month, there was a Liaoning driver from Guangxi who was diagnosed, so our hometown was sealed for a period of time.
At that time, I was worried that if I returned to Xi'an on the fourteenth day of the first month, and there were new confirmed cases in my hometown, then I might need to take my six-year-old son and three-year-old daughter to centralized isolation, thinking back to the lockdown of Xi'an a few years ago, we were almost depressed at home for a month, so I took leave until the twentieth day of the first month.
When our hometown basically passed the fourteen-day observation period and there had been no new diagnosis, I took the high-speed train with two babies and crossed thousands of mountains and rivers from my hometown to my own small home in Xi'an.
02
The day I returned to Xi'an was Sunday, and the next monday, I started working. Working for two weeks, every day I feel very tired, waist sore legs, at that time I have been sighing, 31 years old, really old because of it, physical fitness can not keep up, tomorrow before going to work did not have such a feeling.
On March 6, I still wondered if I was pregnant, and I was relieved to buy a pregnancy test stick and it turned out to be a bar.
Later, I continued to work every week, still sore waist and leg pain sleepy, after March 15, normal menstruation has not come, I did not care too much, because I am not very punctual every month, the cycle is about 30-45 days, plus the first few days of testing is not pregnant, there is not much heart.
Until these two days, every morning I got up a little nauseous and couldn't eat, I was sleepy in the office during the day, lying on the table and sleepy, and I began to suspect that I might be pregnant.
Bought a pregnancy test stick, a test in the morning, two bars, completely confused.
The test was again that night, and the results were still the same as above.
03
Mr. went to Xinjiang on a business trip on March 7, counting the days is basically right, the key is that we have a son and a daughter, and we really haven't thought about having three children.
Married for seven years, to be honest, we never took the measure of contraception, married in the summer of 15 years, got pregnant in the fall, gave birth to a son in 16 years, got pregnant in the spring of 18 years, and gave birth to a daughter in the winter.
Twice have children with children, almost occupied five years of time, originally 18 years of career just improved, but because of the pregnancy of the second child to take maternity leave and physical recovery and then left, until 21 years to return to the workplace, more than half a year, everything went smoothly, but also saw a bright future, especially the son this year in the first grade, the daughter into the kindergarten, have slowly had their own life.
The arrival of this third child suddenly made me extremely panicked.
After discussing with Mr. Wang, we finally decided not to, the pressure to survive is too great, the epidemic has been continuous in the past two years, and there is no end in sight, since we can't ensure a better life for him, why bother to let him come to this world to suffer hard.
04
Today to go to the hospital for examination, b ultrasound to determine the early pregnancy in the womb, in fact, before the results came out, I still held a little illusion, hoping that I was not pregnant, so that there was no need to do surgery, not to mention guilt, but the result was counterproductive.
Then there are various routine examinations, blood electrocardiograms, and if the indicators are normal, the surgery can be successfully scheduled.
The obstetrics and gynecology department of the hospital are all together, and when I queued up for medical treatment, I also saw many pregnant women with big bellies doing obstetric examinations, who were looking forward to the arrival of new life one by one, and they were also very happy.
But watching them walk stupidly with big stomachs, I think I feel very tired, I don't want to go through the process of pregnancy and childbirth anymore, a person does not take care of the baby day and night, and finally ends up with waist pain and leg pain.
When Xi'an was locked down last year, I gave birth to three children in an 89-year-old fa xiao, and her two daughters, born in 2011 and 2014 respectively, were not easy for both children to grow up, but they have also been trying to prepare for pregnancy and hope to fight for a son to come out, and finally really got what they wanted, and the family was happy.
Think about myself, let's not say that there is no need to fight with both children, but whenever I have two daughters or two sons, I don't have the courage to fight for three children, and I really don't have the courage to go again in the road of parenting in the past.
05
This time, no matter how my relatives and friends persuaded me, I really thought about it and made up my mind, I hope that tomorrow the results will come out, everything will go well, make an appointment for the operation, take advantage of the fact that everything is still very early, so small that I almost don't feel it, make a break early.
The mother-in-law is 64 years old, and there is a 31-year-old son who is not married, she does not have much energy to help us with the children, although she has not helped much in recent years, especially financially, the in-laws have basically been saving money to marry their young son, so we do not have the luxury of anything, living each other's lives is the most important.
Finally, remind all the mothers who are not ready to have children again, we must do a good job of protective measures, do not add unnecessary trouble to themselves, women in this life is really too difficult, love themselves a little more, run a good family, educate children, and do not forget to do their own small business.
Author: Mu Ziqing, accompany you to explore the deep feelings of the heart.