In dealing with people, intention is the first.

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In the practice of education, I have found that in addition to not setting a good example and setting an example for their children, many parents are also very confused, and many parents do not distinguish between good and evil, beauty and ugliness, or even non-upside down, and there is a big problem with judgment. As a result, in family education, the big mud teaches a small mud, and the little mud slowly grows into a big mess, and finally makes a mess.

Below I combine some cases to help parents, and also ask parents to help their children distinguish between right and wrong and enhance judgment.

First, what is goodness? What is evil (bad)?

1. The first criterion for distinguishing between good and evil is the mind, that is, thoughts and motives

It is good to benefit the masses with one thought and not to be oneself; on the contrary, one thought is selfish and selfish, and one thought is evil to be oneself and not to be oneself.

Story: The Wise Man On the Good

When many readers encounter doubts, they go to the wise and ask, "Is it evil to beat people and curse people?" Answer: "Not necessarily." Then he asked, "Is it good to be respectful and polite to people?" A: "Not necessarily." These readers were confused by the words of the wise men. The wise man said, "If he beats and scolds people because he wants to wake that person up, if he wants to wake him up with a slap, this intention is good, it is good for others, and this is also good." "Of course, learning should be flexible and wait for opportunities. If you slap it down, make sure he can wake up, and if you can't wake up, it's best not to hit, it will be a grudge. The wise man also said, "He is very polite and respectful to man, and if his intention is to rise to a higher rank and get rich, if it is for his own selfish desires, then the respect for man is hypocritical, and this is not good." ”

From the teachings of the wise men, we can learn that good and evil are judged from the heart. The thought of selfishness, even if it is polite, is evil; the thought of benefiting everyone, even if it is to beat and curse people, is also good.

This story tells us that in dealing with people, the intention is the first. We parents should not only have good intentions at all times and everywhere, but also guide our children to have good intentions.

Let's judge whether some people are good or bad.

Is it good to work hard? Many people think that this is still needed to be discussed? Of course, it is very good, it is a traditional Chinese virtue. In fact, not necessarily, the key is still to look at the intention and motivation. Many people work hard for more than ten hours a day, but you have to understand what motivates him to do so? If it is not for filial piety to parents, not to let wives and children have a good life, but to satisfy vanity, I hope to stand in front of others to show off: I have a brand-name car, I have a luxury villa! This diligence is not goodness!

Is it good to study hard? Not necessarily good. The key is to look at the power. If the motivation of the child's daily effort is that my parents work so hard, I must let them rest assured, worry- and even prosper for the family and the country, if it is this kind of intention, it is a great good; if the child's intention is that I will do well in the exam, find a good job in the future, and my life can be better, then such an effort to study will not last long, and I will encounter obstacles; if I do well, my father will give me rewards, that is a very worrying thing.

There was a child who was playing and rolling at the school gate and did not want to go home with his mother. The mother took out a piece of sugar, do you want to eat sugar? If you want to eat candy, come home with me, and the child will immediately go home with his mother. How is this child? Listening or not? Many parents laughed, and I know that many parents must have done this, and may still be doing it now. But have we calmed down and realized that when the child obeys, who is he listening to? Listen to your mother, or listen to sugar?

There was once a mother who said that her daughter was lazy, and she later learned a book that was very effective, and the book told her to price all the housework, and she said that her daughter immediately became very diligent. For example, washing a piece of clothing for two dollars, polishing a pair of leather shoes to give a dollar, her daughter suddenly became industrious, and the housework was rushed to do. May I ask, is her daughter diligent or not? But after a week of hard work, one day she came home very tired, lying on the sofa, and said to her daughter, daughter, help your mother dry the clothes in the washing machine, and your mother will give you two dollars. This daughter did not even go out of the door of the room, and replied in the inside, Mom, I am also tired today, these two dollars I do not earn.

Every year during the Spring Festival, I often find many children saying this to their elders: "Wishing you prosperity, bring the red envelope." "Are these kids polite?" Is it really congratulations on your fortune, or is it staring at your money? Who taught it? Adults teach.

Therefore, we must have correct judgment, and we must calm down and think about where the child's motivation and intention come from when he does things for people? Is it "parents call, should not be delayed", or "property call, should not be delayed"? That's fundamentally different. The same is done, but the child's heart is completely different. "Seduction can never seduce great children."

To measure whether a person's knowledge is high or not, what is the basis for judging? We tend to look at a person's academic qualifications or degrees. May I ask, does the Doctor have any knowledge? Everybody will say there is learning, the university asks. If this doctor does not honor his parents, does he have any knowledge? How do you measure whether a person is progressing or regressing? Look at the result, if the exam rank goes up, but he becomes arrogant, is this progress or regression? Therefore, the level of a person's learning has little to do with his academic qualifications, whether a person is progressing or regressing, it has little to do with his results, it has nothing to do with a person's heart, is it improving, or falling?

The father came back from a business trip and brought a gift to his daughter, how will the daughter react? Do the eyes stare at the gift first or help dad lift things first, greet warmly, or even knock on the legs for massage? There is an essential difference. How does a mother guide her daughter to have a good heart? The mother will tell the child that you see your father is so hard every day when he travels on business, but he still hasn't forgotten you as a daughter and bought you a gift to come back. What you receive is not Daddy's gift, but Daddy's love for his son, what we see is not how much the gift costs, but the love of Dad behind us, which cannot be measured by money.

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The copyright of the article belongs to the author, and the views expressed in the article do not represent the publisher and are for reference only.

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