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Professor Zheng Qiang of Zhejiang University once put forward a bungent view on the current education problems of domestic children: "Today's Chinese children are not losing at the starting line, but tired on the starting line. ”
Combined with the current situation of education, it is not difficult to understand why he would say that "some children run early, but not far", even if some children win at the starting line, running earlier than others, but on the starting line has used up most of their strength, not far away.
From prenatal education at birth to post-school counseling, education is transferred from adults to children, and this increasing pressure makes parents and children in a state of heavy burden.
Children who develop prematurely, there are also many children who have become contemporary "wounded Zhongyong", in the face of such a social situation, the state has introduced a "double reduction" policy of sharp brakes, so that parents and society have begun to stop and reflect on where to go about the education of Chinese children.
Since basic education is now universal on the mainland, the number of illiteracy has been greatly reduced, and the eradication of illiteracy has been basically completed. But after the root causes of the lowest point have been solved, the high pressure of society has pushed society in the direction of inward rolling.
"Only fraction theory", "inner volume education", "exam-oriented education", "superimposed learning" This kind of excessive payment and pressure, as well as the general family anxiety, so that education has lost its essence, and the purpose of "double reduction" is to help children develop morally, intellectually, physically and aesthetically, and change the social status quo of "some children run early, but not far".
The age of the state to stipulate the age of the child's enrollment in school is also based on a certain basis, because the child's psychological development has its own internal development law.
According to Piaget's Children's cognitive development stage, each stage of the child has its own psychological and physiological development tasks, which divide the child's growth stage into 4 levels.
The feedback received at each stage is different, so over-learning in order to win at the starting line is actually a seedling-fueled behavior.
Wise parents in educating their children at the same time, know how to conform to the child's own development law, protect the growth of the child's inner world, help the child to create a comfortable and healthy learning environment, grow in a relaxed atmosphere, in order to let still have the energy to improve themselves, run farther and laugh to the end.
Teacher Bian Yufang, a professor of psychology at Beijing Normal University, once said such a sentence about the psychological problems of children's learning: "Parents are the real starting line of children, and the guidance and education of parents have a very critical impact on children's intelligence, personality and morality." ”
Therefore, for many families, in order to make children talented, placing children and themselves in an antagonistic state is actually forcing children, such children may be able to surpass their peers when they are young, but there is also a possibility of extreme relaxation when they grow up, and the end of running early but not far away has been planted in the early years.
Parents are of course the guides of their children, and every parent wants their children to become "other people's children".
This kind of cognition that does not want the child to lose at the starting line is a problem that every family will encounter, after the birth of the child, parents begin to worry about the child falling behind, and even some parents think that the child can not speak at the age of one, is there a problem with intelligence.
This kind of overwhelming education, in fact, has been flooded, but also indicates the sadness of Chinese education, in this kind of "parents for your sake" on the basis of large part to satisfy the vanity of parents, in order to be able to lift their children up, so that parents also become the best in education.
But does the child's development really need to be pushed forward like this? In fact, it is not no, education is a kind of silent forward, not in the race to run, the real education is actually to cultivate the child's sound personality.
How to solve the problem, how to run farther in difficulties, rather than how to run earlier on the starting line, because without continuous output, early can only end up behind. When the true essence of education is distorted, even if countless "chicken babies" win at the starting line, they will also "lose" at the end, and life is not decided by a test paper.
If you want to make education more outstanding, the most important thing is to achieve scientific education, in addition to teaching children basic learning, it is more important to develop a tenacious and hard-working personality from an early age, and the correct outlook on life is the result of the joint efforts of parents and children.
Life is not only a few short years, and the shortness of a child's childhood will actually affect its development in the next few decades, a hundred years of tree people, but also explains that education is a long stream of gradual development.
In the process of educating people, whether it is parents or the state, they are still in a hurry, and we have self-doubt in anxiety, and finally transfer this silent pressure to the child, then this kind of "seedling-fueled" education will actually make children confused and afraid of the way forward.
The transmission of a dangerous message instead hurts the child's heart, which can explain why the proportion of "depression" is also rising while the human standard of living is rising.
Because of the fast pace, the choice of standing on the starting line early is a kind of complicated anxiety intrusion, we want to make the child truly talented, we must know how to respect the premise of the child's own development law, let the child become more excellent.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205