What do you think of your parents' "I'm all for your own good"?
Parents think that as long as we give, you should have a job. As long as our children are happy, we can endure hunger and hunger, and as long as our children become instruments, we are willing to be cattle and horses. But they don't know that such efforts and sacrifices are purely their inner fears and insecurities, and their subconscious desire to reciprocate, but with the conscious behavior of "I am all for your own good", they force the kindness of the child. They don't know that this kindness is like a big mountain, and the child can't afford to carry it and can't pay it back.
They are even more unclear that children's anxiety, procrastination, truancy from school to escape from realistic responsibilities, etc., are all because the brain is stuffed with "complex reality, the future is cruel" advice, and it is the child's mental strength that cannot withstand the compromise of "high expectations".
The great sacrifice of the parents is full of gas that suffocates the breath of the child's heart, or in other words, the perfect love of the parents with "I am all for your own good" kills the happiness that the child should have.
Although we believe that parents love their children, parents have no intention of hurting their children. We can only say that hurtful love is the unconscious sin of the elders.
To speak of the unconscious sins of parents is nothing more than that. Many parents have serious personality problems themselves, just don't know it. Consciously they must think of their children as good, and they do behave for their children. But what they do, throughout being a tyrant in disguise, or a savior hero in disguise, compels their own will to be accepted by others. As a result, the child either feels intimidated and controlled; or feels guilty and incompetent.
If the child has fallen, it must be indicative of premature psychological aging. Guess that behind him, it must also be a high-pressure environment without oxygen.
So I would like to say: the sacrifice of parents is not so much great love as alternative violence, a kind of violence that persecutes children's nature and personality. Their education of their children is a beautiful kindness, and they do bad things that are harmful to the hearts of children.
If the child has a distorted personality in the future and lives an unfortunate life, I cannot but say that it is the evil deeds committed unconsciously by the parents. In other words, it is the evil fruit of the parents' personality defects.
If parents can wake up, the consequences will not be passed on from generation to generation.
If parents can change first, their children's lives will be better.
Some parents are very stubborn, always think that the child's "strange behavior" is not related to them, always want to find a good way to change the child, you tell him "change the words and deeds of the parents, the child can change", he will stare at you and accuse you of being weird.