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"Encouraging childbearing is a hot topic at the moment, and a small number of elderly people are also eager to try to have children." Huang Weiping and Tian Xinju of Zaozhuang, Shandong Province, gave birth to their daughter at the age of more than 65 in 2019, setting a domestic record for the age of natural conception. The elderly woman has a chain reaction within the family: an adult pair of children is unacceptable, and once broke off relations with the couple, rarely appearing. The arrival of the newborn disrupted the living arrangements of the old couple, buying vegetables and cooking, attending early education, and the wife whose body was hollowed out by childbirth was unable to cope, and Huang Weiping took on more parenting responsibilities. His daughter is now two years old, but Huang Weiping is 71 years old, and he must break his wrist with time.
Elderly Dad
Grandpa Huang Weiping's day began at 7 a.m. His two-year-old, five-month-old daughter would wake up crying in half an hour, and he needed to wash and clean the room, sweep the floor, and drag it out again. The gap between dressing my daughter can be used to prepare breakfast and rush in and out until a fine layer of sweat appears on her forehead. Huang Weiping is 71 years old, and his sideburns are gray.
After making breakfast, feeding the children is a difficult matter, it will take more than an hour - without eating a few bites, the daughter habitually runs to the side to play with toys, Huang Weiping picks up the bowl and chases after her.
Halfway through the feeding, he put down the bowl and began to wash his clothes. My daughter's pants were sticking to the dirt, and tomato juice dripped on the chest of her clothes, and after a night, she needed to rub her hands hard and soak them in laundry detergent. While waiting for the clothes to soak, Huang Weiping turned around and continued to coax the child to eat. After cleaning up the dishes, you have to wash your clothes and dry them. No matter what Huang Weiping did, he had to look up at his daughter in less than two minutes. The daughter is lively and active, and will scatter the remaining cookie residue on the coffee table on the ground, and throw toys everywhere.
The old father followed behind to clean up, and the movements were clean and neat.
The wash stand at home is very high, the height of the daughter can not reach, Huang Weiping does not use the bench, each time directly picked up to wash her hands, a day to repeat this action more than a dozen times. The community where he lives has no elevator, he has to climb five floors, his daughter refuses to go, every time he goes out, Huang Weiping needs to tie a baby waist stool around his waist and carry his daughter upstairs and downstairs. Daughters like to stick to their fathers, cooking, going to the toilet must be next to each other, and they must let their fathers hold them to fall asleep. When his daughter was asleep, Huang Weiping took a short lunch break and got up again to do housework.
At 3 p.m., it was time for parent-child play, and they walked around the neighborhood. The daughter can already run fast and far on the car, and Huang Weiping does not dare to relax and chases after her. As he ran, he taught his daughter that "this is the flower, this is the tree, this is the sound of the birds", and in the spring he could accompany her to play ball, blow bubbles, and fly kites.
Caring for children is a physical task, which activates Huang Weiping's old age, and at the age of 71, he does not look like an old man. He cut his daughter's hair and nails himself, without wearing reading glasses, and her nails were cut clean. Recently, Huang Weiping began to exercise, and for an hour from 7 to 8 p.m., he pressed his legs alone under the old locust tree in the community, and then walked quickly for 4 kilometers.
Figure | Huang Weiping fed his daughter to eat
Huang Weiping's mobile phone stores nearly a thousand photos of her daughter, from swaddled babies to waddling and creeping to babbling, and her daughter has grown up at a speed visible to the naked eye. "There's not enough time!" He often exclaimed. For Huang Weiping at this age, time has another meaning: he is afraid that he will not be able to stay with his daughter for too long.
The arrival of the daughter stemmed from an "accident". Wife Tian Xinju suffered from cerebral infarction in 2018, drank a traditional Chinese medicine that activates blood and stasis during treatment, and after 10 years of menopause, she suddenly came to menstruation. In February 2019, the 65-year-old wife became pregnant again, without noticing it, and one day in the fourth month, she felt something moving in her stomach, went to the hospital for examination, did A ultrasound, and the shape of the fetus was clearly visible.
Fertility experts say that natural conception at this age does not conform to human physiological laws, which is equivalent to rejuvenation and rewind time. Having children at an advanced age makes many people feel worried about the couple, worry about their bodies, and feel that having children at this age is a bit "selfish". Huang Weiping didn't think too much, he and his wife had simple ideas, "If you are pregnant, you will be born." ”
When the child was still an embryo, Huang Weiping gave her a good name: Huang Tianci. He identified the child as a "gift from Heaven."
His wife was confined, and Huang Weiping asked his sister-in-law to take care of him, from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., paying 4,800 yuan a month. After two months of doing it, he realized that it was not right, "Can you have family affection by handing over the child to the sister-in-law?" In this way, the sister-in-law was invited away by him.
Feeding the child, changing diapers, washing, Huang Weiping can only sleep for 5 hours a day. In order for the child to sleep a good head shape, he often has to change directions and put his arms around the child to sleep. When his daughter was 4 months old, he hugged him to early education classes, and in the class, most of them were young parents, he didn't care, and he took pictures of his children while interacting. Daughter full moon to take art photos, invited a photographer to come to the house, 4, 5 people took off the child's clothes, wrapped in a piece of bristle, the daughter was not happy, crying, the photo was not taken, Huang Weiping invited people away.
As a father in old age, Huang Weiping needs to do his best and race against time. It's just that living with the couple, there is also a granddaughter.
The granddaughter was also raised by Huang Weiping, and the girl raised her for 17 years from the age of seven months. His granddaughter has been clinging to him since she was a child, and she will let him sleep with him in elementary school. But now, the grandparents hardly speak. When the granddaughter was in the first year of junior high school, they had a conflict because of their incompatible concepts, and the granddaughter never paid attention to him again, and only took the initiative to find him when there was something wrong.
In the year the little daughter was born, the granddaughter's emotions completely exploded, and she refused to come to the table to eat with them again. Before each meal, Huang Weiping would give his granddaughter a separate meal and put it on the round table, while he and his wife ate on the coffee table next to him.
Raising his granddaughter, Huang Weiping has to worry about everything, in addition to taking care of food and housing, the tuition and medical expenses for school are also paid from his pension. Two years ago, the granddaughter did not enter the high school, Huang Weiping found a school for her, wanted to send her to study in other places, the granddaughter did not agree, and finally studied computer science at a local secondary school in Zaozhuang. The school is far from home, and Huang Weiping sends her to school every weekend afternoon. Until this year, the granddaughter could not get away with the child, and the granddaughter went to and from school by herself.
Exhausted after a day with children, Huang Weiping still has to force himself to exercise, he must be stronger, stronger. That night, his daughter was shouting "Find Daddy, Find Daddy" all over the house, and while walking, he received a call from his daughter and rushed home, and her daughter ran over and said, "Daddy, I stink." Huang Weiping hurriedly picked up his daughter and changed her clothes for her.
Figure | Playing with my daughter in the neighborhood
Be a parent again
Mr. and Mrs. Huang Weiping changed their new house in 2018, moving from an old house of 30 years to a three-bedroom apartment of 120 square meters. At that time, Huang Weiping's happiest thing was to take care of his small vegetable garden, and he opened up three vegetable fields in the green belt outside the community, planting peppers, eggplants, cucumbers, kidney beans and other vegetables, which he had to eat all year round. But now, there was only one piece of the three pieces of land left, and the spring was going to be sown, and he was worried in his heart, but he always couldn't make time.
Originally, the two old men retired, received more than 10,000 pensions every month, and focused on life, walking dogs, cooking, and taking care of their granddaughters. Live a leisurely life.
After deciding to give birth to a child, the old couple's later life began to disintegrate. A pair of sons and daughters expressed strong opposition. When the eldest daughter learned of this, she said a harsh word, "If you dare to give birth, we will break off the relationship." ”
On the day Tian Xinju gave birth, his son and daughter did not appear in the hospital, until the storm passed, and the eldest son and eldest daughter returned home and looked at their little sister. The two generations have tacitly agreed with each other that the children are raised by the elderly and will not and cannot be handed over to the children in the future. Huang Weiping understands that his children have become a family and have their own children, and they cannot let this child become a burden for their children.
Figure | Huang Weiping and daughter Huang Tianci
The persistence of giving birth to a daughter stems from some regrets in the hearts of Huang Weiping and his wife. More than 40 years ago, 26-year-old Huang Weiping first became a father. His wife graduated from the health school at the time, had just joined the work, was a doctor in the child protection department of the Maternal and Child Health Hospital, Huang Weiping was a secretary in the commune, and both of them were very busy at work. Wife Tian Xinju recalled that the eldest son did not go to kindergarten for a day, there were no conditions for living at that time, and no one watched the child, "The child's grandfather took a day, the grandmother took a day, and handed over to the neighbor to bring another day." ”
It wasn't until the 80s that the living conditions of the small family improved and they had their own house. The couple thought of having a daughter and were forced by the pressure of family planning. It was not until 1984 that the 30-year-old Tian Xinju Tuo relationship got a birth permit, and their second daughter was born.
After the birth of his daughter, the family's financial pressure increased sharply, Huang Weiping changed his career to become a lawyer, became busier, often had to travel to various places, and worked in Tianjin for a period of time, and the husband and wife lived apart for up to 5 years. In his traditional conception, it is natural for a man to go out to support his family, to serve the country and fight for the small family.
How the two children grew up, as a father, Huang Weiping could not give specific examples, only vaguely remembered, when his wife went out to study and train, he used a bicycle to send his son to school in the morning, then sent his daughter to kindergarten, and then went to the countryside to work 20 kilometers away, and then picked up the two children at night.
"When I was young, I was busy at work, and I didn't have time to take care of my children." Mr. Huang said he was nominally a father of two, but in reality he was absent from family life and the children's upbringing.
When his daughter was in elementary school, Huang Weiping considered "letting her daughter go home to eat a hot meal", he proposed flexible office with the company and returned home from Tianjin. A few years later, he went to Rizhao because of his work, and he left for another 5 years. Tian Xinju mentioned that she was very strict with her daughter, and when her daughter was in high school, she was also responsible for pick-up, "The child's classmates laughed at me, so old that she had to be picked up by her mother." ”
For the eldest son, the couple is reluctant to mention it. Tian Xinju said that in the year her daughter was born, the eldest son just happened to be in the first grade, and it was the time of rebellion, and she could not manage it, so she delayed the study of the eldest son. When his son was young, he learned to smoke, and Huang Weiping strongly opposed it, beating and scolding. After his son graduated from high school, Huang Weiping wanted him to follow him to be a lawyer, but his son could not pass the lawyer's qualification certificate, and he was muddy all day, and the father and son did not look at each other.
Later, the son got married, and soon divorced, leaving a daughter, the child was not raised, Huang Weiping had to take the little granddaughter to his side and take on the responsibility of parenting for his son.
The granddaughter gradually grew up and entered adolescence, Huang Weiping could not be educated, and the child began to become rebellious. "This child has no parents, and he can't think of his mother, which is a bit stimulated." He spoke of some helplessness, he raised his granddaughter, but he was not the parent of the child after all.
Huang Weiping retired from the civil service at the age of 50 and then returned to work for 10 years, and he still maintains his job today. He said he was going to do it until his head didn't shine. The work maintained Huang Weiping's vitality in his later years, making him powerful. In 2014, together with several other partners, he founded a law firm and continued to help people in their cases.
The sudden arrival of his daughter gave Huang Weiping a new theme in his later years. On the day the child was discharged from the hospital, according to local customs, Huang Weiping specially wrapped a red futon for his daughter, with peach branches inserted on her body, and peanuts and dates, which meant that the future children would have many children and many blessings. On the first night of home, at two o'clock in the morning, the child opened his eyes, he couldn't sleep excitedly, and took the mobile phone to shoot vigorously.
Chinese New Year's Eve, 2020, On January 24, Huang Weiping remembers that day, he dressed his daughter in new clothes for the New Year, teasing her to "call Daddy", and the three-month-old daughter seemed to understand, "Dad", the daughter made a loud syllable from her mouth for the first time. This is the best sound Huang Weiping has ever heard. The identity of the father was reactivated, and he felt that he could be a good father again.
"Striving for longevity"
The daughter Tianzi was born in the spotlight and received the attention of the public. A baby and toddler products company gave Huang Weiping's family several boxes of diapers for free and wore them for more than 100 days. After using it, the couple went to buy the same brand and found it too expensive, So Huang Weiping had to change it to a cheaper one, which was converted into a piece of 8 cents and 5 cents. Some milk powder manufacturers gave them 4 boxes and 1 barrels of milk powder, milk powder has not been drunk so far, Tian Xinju used breast milk to feed her children to one and a half years old.
On April 7, 2021, Huang Weiping opened a short video for his daughter to share the daily life of parenting. Huang Weiping admitted, "That's operated by the company. "A businessman approached him to help him run his fans, saying it would bring financial gains. Huang Weiping wanted to leave a guarantee for his daughter, and after considering it, agreed.
Every once in a while, the company would come to the house to shoot footage, edit it into a video and publish it online. On his daughter's second birthday, he cooperated with the company to do a birthday live broadcast, and the live broadcast of the daughter Tianci only showed one side, and the rest of the time was used by the anchor to sell clothes. So far this year, Mr. Huang said he hadn't gotten a penny.
Under the operation of the company, Huang Weiping's family was built into a happy family with old children, and in several videos released, a woman who looked to be in her 30s claimed to be Tianqi's sister, and she said to the video, "Tianci, in the rest of the days, my sister will guard you." Huang Weiping said that this is not a heavenly sister, "also a person from the company." "In another short video platform, a woman also appeared repeatedly, and she looked very intimate holding The Gift." This is our dry daughter," Huang Weiping responded, "she often comes to see us, more free than our two biological children." ”
Huang Weiping's tablet was full of heavenly photos, but he couldn't find a group photo of his brother and sister. The family is all supported by Huang Weiping alone. He needs money to keep his daughter alive, and he needs help.
Wife Tian Xinju is not in good health, her legs and feet are inconvenient, she can't walk far, and her waist will hurt when she does heavy work. Around the time of her birth in 2019, one of her eyes had three surgeries due to retinal detachment, and her teeth also fell out and she wore dentures. Age can not be changed, Tian Xinju will still dress herself, every once in a while to dye her hair, use skin care products, try to make herself look younger, do not differ too much from other parents.
Figure | The family eats together
Aging makes it difficult for Tian Xinju to take care of the child's daily care. When my daughter was more than two years old, when she was naughty, she ran all over the house, standing on the top of the coffee table, and then she would get all the shoes off the shoe rack. The cub's exuberant energy made Tian Xinju breathless, and she was tired after playing with the child for a while. "I want to send you away." Tian Xinju said with a bitter smile.
This is a problem that all families who have children at an advanced age are faced: older people like to be quiet, and they no longer have as much energy as their younger parents to deal with a lively child.
Tian Xinju did not know what size shoes the child was wearing, and she was not sure which side was the front and which side was the reverse side when wearing diapers for the child. Once, at 7 p.m., her husband was busy with other things, and there was no time to cook, Tian Xinju went to the kitchen and flipped it upside down, waiting for Huang Weiping to look again, and found that the switch of the rice cooker was not turned on.
"You're degenerating to the point where you can't even use a rice cooker?" He couldn't help yelling at her.
Huang Weiping did not like the way his wife disciplined her children, commenting on her: "Bad personality, no patience." His wife has high blood pressure, he doesn't want her to be angry, as long as he still has energy, the children are taken by him.
Tian Xinju was weak in her heart, and occasionally she would go outside to listen to health lectures. Go out at 6 a.m., take the bus and come back at 11 a.m. On the first day, she bought back two bags of rice for 120 yuan and 10 pounds, and the gift she got was a pot of oil and 60 eggs. Went back the next day and only got two soapboxes.
Recently, she invested in a new project, claiming to invest 900 yuan in a lump sum, and by the end of the year, the company can get 1.35 million dividends when it goes public. She invested 900 yuan for herself, and secretly invested 900 yuan for her husband, she said that at the end of the year, she took the money and saved 2 million yuan for the child, and the rest of the family could go on a trip.
These Huang Weiping did not know that he did not approve of his wife going to buy health care products, but he could not stop it. He didn't have the time, the energy, and he couldn't go to work anymore. On March 23, 2019, he remembered this time, and he handled the handover of the law firm. "It's over to someone." He said.
His old colleagues still refused to let him go, and in some cases he still had to participate, write lawsuits, and ask him to be present at court. Huang Weiping opened a text message on his mobile phone, on March 23, reminding him that the case he was dealing with was going to be heard and required him to fill in the materials online, he simply did not have time, "did not want to work overtime", he complained. For a while last year, he always worked overtime, coaxing the children to fall asleep, and then got up to work until 12 o'clock in the morning and 1 o'clock in the morning.
After working more overtime, he felt dizzy and his blood pressure increased. He couldn't help but be nervous in his old age.
Nowadays, Huang Weiping's mind is all on his daughter, he rarely shouts tired, and even gives others an illusion, he is not like a 71-year-old man at all, he looks healthy and energetic.
Daughter Tianci has the same face as Huang Weiping, with a wide forehead, long eyes, and a high nose bridge, and she smiles like a father and daughter. On The second of February this year, he cut his daughter's hair and bought a pair of pants with flowers and a pair of pink shoes online. Spring has arrived, and he wants to take his wife and daughter with him to drive to the farm 40 kilometers away to see the peach blossoms.
When they reached their destination, they found rows of peach trees standing on the side of the road, still bare. The journey is over before it even begins. Huang Weiping drove for nearly three hours, very tired, after entering the house he changed his clothes, did not rest, and rolled up his sleeves to cook in the kitchen. It was two o'clock in the afternoon after eating, and he couldn't hold on, he was too tired. "I didn't even dare to catch a cold, I was sick and this home was shut down." He said.
In the 71st year of his life, Huang Weiping still did not stop, and he would not let himself stop. He mentioned that his family has a tradition of longevity in its genes, his father lived to be 96, his mother was 87, his grandmother was 96, and his eldest sister is now 89 years old.
"Strive to live a long life." He knew that his daughter still had a long, long way to go.
- END -
Written by | Zhou Jing
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