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"Suddenly This Summer": "Why prove anything to those who don't deserve it, live better, it's for yourself." ”
If a person is defined by you as an "unworthy person", that person must have hurt you or betrayed you, no one would define an irrelevant person as someone who is not worthy.
For example, if you love someone very much, and as a result that person betrays you and humiliates you, does not care about your feelings at all, does not care about your life and death, and only cares about being like glue with people, you will definitely think that he is not worthy of your continued love.
There is such a follow-up to such a love: the person who once betrayed you suddenly turned back to you one day, and you had absolute love for him, but he said that you were insincere, that you must still love him deeply.
At this point, the sentence mentioned at the beginning should be used: you don't have to prove anything to someone who is not worthy, you just have to live for yourself. Even if you are sad and cry, it is not for the person who is not worthy.
The following reader has had this experience, let's listen to his story together.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
I don't understand whether some people are too narcissistic or too stupid, knowing that they have hurt others, but they still insist that others must still love her and have to let others marry her.
My ex-girlfriend was such a person, our love for years, shattered by her betrayal.
I've loved her for so many years, I've long thought of her as a wife, and I never expected to lose to a man she just met online.
Although the hatred of taking a wife is infuriating, but on second thought, the fly does not bite the seamless egg, if she really loves me, if she is single-minded about love, how can she love others?
I had no way of knowing where the man was or how to settle accounts with him. What I can do is to save love, humbly help her recall the bits and pieces of our love, hoping to touch her heart and make her change her mind.
And she didn't care about my feelings at all, didn't care about my life or death, how desperate she was.
She said that people have to go to high places, she said that all women are material, vain, love to compare, she just made the mistakes that all women make, and no one has the right to blame her.
At that moment, I finally understood what "love is born of hate": how much I used to love her, how much I hated her when she betrayed me.
My friend told me, "If you really love her, even if she betrays you, you won't hate her." ”
I don't think so, I did love her, but I loved her, not the one who betrayed me.
Since breaking up and breaking up, when I think of her, I only have hatred. I even regret loving her a little, otherwise I wouldn't have exchanged a scar.
But just as I was trying to adjust to myself and wanted to start my life again, she came to bother me again.
She made it clear that she was just playing with the man, and she said that she had had enough and then just wanted to find someone to marry and have children, and asked me if I would still marry her.
I borrowed an online slang phrase to answer her: "Someone else tested me for the full amount?" Why? If you want to marry me after playing enough, why should I marry you? Isn't it enough for you to humiliate me once? Why do you have to humiliate me again? Am I a garbage collection bin in your opinion? ”
I myself felt that what I said was particularly cruel, but she was not angry, but said to me with a hippie smile: "The more fiercely you say it, the more you can prove that you have not let go of me, you must still love me, and you must have been waiting for me to change my mind." If so, why don't you dare to face your heart? Why delude yourself? The reason why you are working so hard to live must be because you want to welcome me back with the best posture, am I right? ”
I don't deny that I clenched my fists and had the urge to move. But I didn't do it after all, otherwise I would have only caused myself trouble.
Let her say whatever she likes, anyway, we have broken off our righteousness. I tried to live just for myself, not to prove that I loved her. Since I have treated her as someone who is not worthy of love, I will never be able to prove anything for her again, because she is not worthy!
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
In the emotional world, the kind of "waiting for a lover to return" situation that his ex-girlfriend called exists. However, not all lovers who break up and break up are in this situation, and it is more about grace and severance.
Especially in the case of them breaking up because of betrayal, it is almost impossible to "wait for the return of a lover". The reason is simple: a matter of principle is an unforgivable fault.
To judge whether two people are still true love for each other after breaking up and breaking off the connection, you can combine these two feelings to see.
The first feeling: you can't live without TA.
If the man and woman break up and break the connection, both sides feel that they can't live without TA, always tear their hearts and lungs, always scratch their hearts, and always can't help but want to see TA, indicating that each other is still true love, even if it is very humble, it is also true love.
The second feeling: love more hate less, hate can not be.
If after breaking up and breaking off the connection, both parties have the feeling of "hate can't be up", just ignite the hatred, and then the hatred is completely eliminated, replaced by love, which also shows that each other is still true love.
Both of these feelings need to be possessed by both parties at the same time to show that they are still true love.
If neither partner has these two feelings, it is no longer true love for each other. In addition, if only one of them has these two feelings, and the other party only has hatred, they are no longer true love.