Today, I sorted out the manuscript and was deeply relieved to see the messages I had left and the support of past readers. I don't know if they're still here, it's an honor that I've survived to this day. Thank you for your support along the way.
Living is like a kind of burden, and I am able to face my true self here.
More than four years have passed since the first article.
In these four years, I have struggled to live because I have to write well, and I sincerely thank God as an atheist.
I relive the old age of my predecessors, goethe wrote Faust at the age of 81. Leo Tolstoy practiced his heart at the age of 83 with his final exodus. Cicero, 64, returned to the pulpit of the Senate with the mentality of death. I didn't do enough, so I thought I shouldn't be in my final chapter yet.
As long as I make progress every day, my life will still have enough value and meaning, let me endure the pain and live, and leave a better work.
I've made mistakes in the past, and despite my efforts, I've failed some important people. Even though I was too broken, I still couldn't forgive myself.
I have made some mistakes, some primitive desires and defects, like a sin, which I carry heavily.
Writing has no pleasure for me, and every time I sit in front of the computer, it is a huge load on the mind and mind. To write for an hour is to lie down and rest for a long time, and the million-word manuscript still needs to be rearranged.
Sometimes I feel like a patient, and sometimes I feel like I'm just too lonely.
If a person's every thought, every thought, from morning to night, cannot find anyone around to resonate, can not communicate with anyone, it is tantamount to being in a desert island.
Fortunately, I was prematurely trapped in the loneliness that could not be shaken off, fortunately, grateful for the hardships and patience of many years of earthly life, and I grew up prematurely and no longer needed companions.
I know my destiny very well, but in the choice of life and death, I have failed to live up to this divine contradiction, and my inferior flesh is desperate to run to eternal purity. Under the negative spirit of pessimistic "evil", we explore the positive meaning of the noble "good" and affirm the meaning of life.
The eternal contradiction between reason and sensibility, I admit, is too conceited, thinking that in one's lifetime a harmonious unity can be found through philosophy. I hope that my efforts will not be in vain, and my work can give some inspiration and value to future generations.
As I get older, I gradually understand something.
Since the birth of civilization, the treasure house of ideas and spiritual achievements of mankind have been vast, and we have studied all our lives in order to create them throughout our lives. It is to step on the shoulders of the giants' predecessors to go further, so that the back can have a higher ladder to step on, and then climb the peak that can never be reached.
I no longer want to reach the other shore, I just want to give everything I have.
Affirming life, perhaps at first, is just a random act, but affirming life in the midst of suffering and despair is a courageous attitude, a fearless spirit, and eternal faith.
Humble in the face of greatness and eternity, as sacred and grand as I am in the presence of existence and life, there will always be people who will understand what I have suffered, and perhaps decades later, perhaps longer, there will always be people who will understand.
They lived alone, painfully, and greatly through their time, and now I join them without complaint or regret, and I no longer hold a single complaint.
"To attain the greatest enjoyment of existence means to live dangerously."