Educating children is a "closed-eye project"

Looking at the history of the Three Kingdoms, you will find a very interesting phenomenon: Cao Cao lived to be 66 years old, and the last thing before he died was to write a letter to his son; Liu Bei lived to be 63 years old, died of a heart attack, and Liu Bei wrote a letter to his son before he died; Zhuge Liang wrote a letter to his son for the last thing before he died. A particularly typical feature of the Three Kingdoms is that the last thing all the high people do before they die is to write a letter to their son. What does this mean? It shows that the ancient Chinese people attached special importance to the education of their children. If you think about it, the year of Zhuge Liang's death was 234 AD, the Shu Han regime was in turmoil, politics, economy, military, diplomacy, international people's livelihood, the Northern Expedition, the retreat of the whole army, the selection of successors, the management of the previous dynasty, the struggle of the later dynasty, all of which were things, Zhuge Liang threw these things aside, he only did one thing, that is, to talk about life and the future for his son, and he paid special attention to the education of his children.

I especially admire the three people in "Three Kingdoms": the first is Sun Jian, the Marquis of Wucheng, who is great in his own right, and his sons Sun Quan and Sun Ce are all remarkable; the second is Sima Yi, the governor of Zhengxi, who is a good man, and his son Sima Shi, who is all excellent; the third admires Cao Cao, you don't look at Cao Cao's sinister cunning, his heart is fierce, but he has never delayed the education of his children, you see people's sons educated, Wen has Cao Zhi, seven steps into poetry, Wu has Cao Zhang, sweeping through the north, eliminating pollution, engaging in management cao Pi, knowing people and good responsibility, The deep atmosphere has a city government; there is Cao Chong in the Olympic number, and any problem will be done to solve the welfare problem, which is particularly good.

Unsuccessful is Liu Bei, splendid rivers and mountains, three points of the world. Educate the stupid son, and finally ruin the career! Therefore, the education of children is definitely a strategic issue and a big problem. The Ancient Chinese put this problem in the first place of strategy, before leaving everything is thrown down, we must seriously talk about the problem of children's education, share the Chinese cultural concept, this concept is a person in this life to do everything has become, as long as there is one thing not done, when you die, you can not close your eyes, this matter is the education of children. In the same way, a person has not accomplished anything in this life, as long as one thing is done, when he dies, he can close his eyes, and this matter is also the education of his children. We gave our children a name for education, "Closed Eyes Project." Please do your own closed-eye project, if someone talks to you, I will become famous, famous all over the world, rich and invincible, across the world... You ask him two things, first, how is your good health; second, how is your "closed eye project", and these two points absolutely poke at his death hole. Many successful people look brilliant, on the one hand, they are weak and sick, their physical health collapses, on the other hand, their children's education is not successful, and there are big problems. So children's education is definitely a big problem, and today we will talk about this problem. From the perspective of behavioral training in traditional culture and the development of behavioral science and psychological science in the present, I would like to talk to you about the simple issues of children's education.

Our topic began with Liu Bei educating children. Why did a leader who was so powerful as Liu Bei not succeed in educating his children? Everyone pays attention to one detail: Liu Bei lost the battle, and the first thing he had to do was to throw away his wife. Historical records record that he threw his wife four times, but there are still no records! If the flower-like jade wife is directly thrown away, do you say that Liu Bei's throwing of his wife has something to do with the education of his children? Makes a big deal out of it! Please remember a point of view: the relationship between husband and wife is the soil for the growth of children, not the key schools 211, 985 universities, not the famous tutors of famous teachers and schools, nor the short-term classes of various training classes, the certificate of study abroad, and the relationship between husband and wife is the soil for the growth of children. If you don't manage the relationship between husband and wife, the child will have no soil to grow, and there will be no towering trees in the desert. Liu Bei, because of the weak relationship between husband and wife, he does not attach importance to the relationship between husband and wife, and his wife is like clothes, and if he can't do it, he will throw it away, so his children have no soil to grow. Looking back at Cao Cao, Cao Cao was so vicious and cunning, but Cao Cao and his wife Lady Bian had always had a good relationship. Lady Bian used to be a singer, a prostitute, Cao Cao met a beautiful girl in her 20s, people are good, looks good, but the background is more troublesome, Cao Cao's entire family is opposed, how can you take a prostitute? But Cao Cao married, and the relationship between the two people has been very good after marriage. Mrs. Bian has played a very important role in supporting Cao Cao's career development, and the two people have always respected each other, loved each other, Cao Cao's sons Cao Zhi, Cao Pi, Cao Zhang are all children born to Mrs. Bian, so Cao Cao's husband and wife relationship is very good, this very good husband and wife relationship has become the soil for the healthy growth of children, so China's traditional family is to live with children as the core, living a life is mainly to live a child, and all families are concerned about the growth of children. If the two of them are already ignoring each other, then the child will not grow up! Advice to everyone: to manage the relationship between husband and wife, sometimes it is really necessary to show love in front of the child, some people say that embroidery can not be, if there is any, you take it out, called real life, if not, please two pretend, this is called art life. Educating children requires artistic life, and the first point we provide to everyone in children's education is to manage your husband and wife relationship, and the husband and wife relationship is the soil for children's growth.

The second point of view comes from the classical masterpiece "Journey to the West". Sun Wukong has two teachers, one teacher is called Bodhi Zushi, he taught Sun Wukong seventy-two divine powers in the Lingtai Fangzhi Mountain Oblique Moon Three-Star Cave, one with the first 108,000 miles, moving mountains to reclaim the sea, descending demons and exorcising demons, learning so many magical skills, Sun Wukong took seventy-two vocational certificates, and the final ending This monkey was crushed under the Five Elements Mountain! The learning of skills is a disaster, and later Sun Wukong met a second teacher named Tang Sanzang, Tang Sanzang did not teach Sun Wukong any magic spells, but Tang Sanzang bitterly taught Sun Wu not to lose his temper and not to scold people, there is something to say, people are born of human, demons are born of demons. Everyone celebrates Mother's Day... It was in this kind of preaching that Sun Wukong cultivated and became a Buddha. Therefore, we think that there are two types of life teachers, one is called skill teachers, and the other is called spiritual teachers. Bodhi Grandmaster is a skill teacher, Tang Sanzang is a spiritual teacher, spiritual mentor is more important than skill teacher, so adults are more important than becoming talents, after adulthood, he will naturally become talented, if he is not an adult, can he become a talent? No way!

All of our parents are too much looking forward to their children's talents, you can go to see the junior class of the University of Science and Technology of China, those young prodigies, how many of them are full of life and success? Either neurotic or monastic... Therefore, the spiritual teacher is very important, so that the child's psychology has a normal growth, first adult and then adult along this concept, to recommend a sentence to everyone "growth is the most important learning, communication is the most effective training." Parents are the most critical role models for children, you have to let him grow up first, let him grow up, become a future thing, don't get entangled in talent, first adult and then say. Don't sit in danger all day long, I talk to you about life, I reason with you, especially after the current zero zero, holding a mobile phone, holding the Internet, smart phones, mobile Internet, he understands more about life than you! You might as well have a nice relationship with him, let's make a meal together, let's take a walk together, I'll lead you up the mountain to see the scenery, or we'll make a game together. You have to take him as a friend, and having a healthy relationship with him is the most effective cultivation.

Liang Qichao, a high-ranking figure in modern China, has thrown aside his political, economic, military, diplomatic, Buddhist and philosophical skills, and we will only talk about Liang Qichao's children's education. I specifically read Liang Qichao's diary and letters, Liang Qichao even if he is in a foreign country, he also has to write letters to children, and when he writes letters, he jokes and tells stories, he has a very healthy and beautiful relationship with children, not all day long when he is the boss to talk about life reason; or ask the results of spanking, Liang Qichao is like a friend and children interact, and he and the children also give each other nicknames, he gives the children a nickname, the children give him a nickname, he is like this, This healthy and beautiful interaction, coupled with Liang Qichao's good family atmosphere and husband and wife relationship, has become the most important source of energy for the children's growth. So communication is the most effective cultivation, if you do not have contact with your children, there will be problems, so we must make friends with our children, which is very important for his growth.

There is also the fact that parents are the most critical role models, children want to learn, who to learn? To learn from your parents, you have to let him read, you have to read first; you want to make him upright, you have to be positive first; you want him to exercise, please exercise first; you want to make him healthy and optimistic, please be healthy and optimistic first. I saw a father say to his son, "Talk about civilization, little bunny cub, you don't talk about civilization anymore, I will break your leg!" "Guys, you said such a father, can he still talk about civilization?" Big brother, you don't talk about civilization, we can't use our own darkness to light up the children's light, if you want to light up the children's light, please light yourself up first! In the process of our education, we should show our best and brightest side. Male comrades should pay attention to words and deeds at home, one is that the language should be bright and beautiful, one is to behave brightly and beautifully, do something healthy and upward, don't always play mobile phone games all day, spit at home, call and chat about idle days, or don't say a word, sit next to smoke, please read and study at home, listen to traditional culture, engage in recitation, take a copy of the Four Books and Five Classics, and look at it there like a decent person. Teacher, I don't like it, if you like it, you take it out and call it real life, if you don't like it, please pretend to call it art life. In addition, remind female comrades ah please pay attention to your personal image at home, many of our female comrades are glamorous outside, at home it is particularly casual, do not wash your face, do not pay attention to the image, wear house clothes, otherwise you will accuse this and that, this is a very, very terrible thing! Everyone should pay attention to the image at home, the words and deeds of men, and the image of women are a very important factor in the beautiful atmosphere of the home.

Further research found that parents of the opposite sex are the starting point of children's feelings. If the family is a girlfriend, the first man she knows in her life is her father, if she pays attention to words and deeds, pays attention to the image, insists on exercising, is positive, optimistic and sunny, then her standards for men are very high, and in the future, when she goes to college, she will choose a very beautiful person. If this father is not like words, neither image nor cultivation, no learning is not motivated, the mentality is not sunny, all day long this girl grows up to be particularly low on the standard of men; if the family is a boy, the mother is the first woman she knows in life, you think about it, what kind of woman he will come to find, what kind of daughter-in-law you will have in the future, depends on your own performance during this time, perform a little better to let him see all the virtues and all the advantages of traditional Chinese women, he has a standard In the future, I will find a very beautiful girl, and a beautiful relationship will be there. Therefore, the biggest problem of Chinese women at home is that they pay too little attention to the image and are too grumpy, which deserves great attention. So parents are the most important and crucial role models.