【Life】
This morning, for the first time, my mother woke up late like me, and when I came to work at the second bedroom desk, she had been awake for quite a while.
In fact, it was only early nine o'clock, and she was a little embarrassed to say that she had slept for a long time today, and had just woken up for half an hour.
I remembered that yesterday morning she woke me up, disturbed my dreams, and was told by me. I said that I slept late the day before, didn't sleep enough in the morning, had a groggy head, and couldn't get into a working state. She said that she was afraid that we would be late and would not be able to get the vaccine in time, and I said that if we couldn't catch up, I would be very frustrated. Later, she sat on the balcony by herself, feeling like she had nothing to do, and when she took the initiative to talk again, she was like no one else.
While the baby was still asleep, I hurriedly finished the important work and began to wash and pack up the things that the baby would bring with him when he went out. Today I planned to go to vaccinate her, but it was cold before and the family was busy with work, and this matter really dragged on for a long time.
Before that, the family worked, with their own full-time baby, many things to do were handled in the most convenient way, obviously the efficiency was not high, and the results were not satisfactory.
But in the past two days with my mother, the little one has been taken care of by my mother with all eyes, and I am completely relieved. Because my mother's eyes were all on me, she all came according to my ideas, fully interpreting what it meant to "take my daughter as the center of the world."
Saying that the whole eye is oneself, there is no exaggeration at all, and it is completely true. Even sometimes walking and eating just stared at me, and seemed to treat me as the only one without self, although this was a bit exaggerated and narcissistic, but I think my father's first place in my mother's heart should be unshaked.
It's like keeping a pair at all times, as soon as she catches my eyes or mouth issuing commands, she can immediately trigger the system and react correctly. It gives me absolute peace of mind, but sometimes it's also tiring because it doesn't really help much.
She may be willful and arrogant, not always careful to be perfect, but has been providing me with a high emotional value, which no one can match at present, including intimate lovers.
【Work】
These two days did not go to pick up some ghostwritten advertising copy, the work suddenly cleared down, several self-media platforms also did not update for two days.
On the one hand, I feel that I take the baby every day, in the whirlpool of trivial life, and need to take into account a lot of things that must be implemented on the ground, so that it is a bit loaded, always anxious to explode, this state needs to be adjusted.
What was even more frightening was that one night, when I was washing my face at the washstand, I actually saw half of my white hair in front of my forehead, and I was shocked for a while, which was undoubtedly a thunderbolt on a sunny day for me.
In such a state, it is difficult to have a clue to write a quality article, it is better to empty yourself, maybe the inspiration comes uninvited.
For several days in a row, the arrangements are some things that must be done now, applying for self-employment or vaccinated babies, including going to the bank tomorrow to deal with some things, you need to run around, feeling a little tired physically and mentally.
【Mother' Article】
Three generations of the same house were all women, with a mother, a new mother, and a baby, but for three days.
And my mom, she's going back tomorrow. It is said that someone in the family arranged to go to the field to pick tea leaves. Daily earnings of 160.
My own child was originally meant to be brought by myself, and there was no reason to morally kidnap her and let her help me carry it. Although I need companionship, people always have to learn to grow up, and the road ahead is difficult, but I can only rely on my own strength to go through the rest of my life safely.
The family's three-month business trip was unprecedented and unique. If in normal times, I want to write or work, full-time with a baby during the day, and the baby is at a lively and active age that needs to interact, it is difficult to achieve.
At this time, I must have a whole block of time to complete the work, and each time I can only choose to look at myself as a "hope stone", and only wait for the family to come back at night to take shifts with the children to do my thing.
At noon, I brought the baby back from vaccination, and the mother finished cooking. After eating together, the mother accompanied the baby in the living room, listening to the baby's soft voice, feeling warm and quiet.
Almost when my work was over, I went out and told them that if I was sleepy, I would take a lunch break. I thought that this way the baby would not sleep at six or seven o'clock at night. At night, I can probably go to bed early and have a regular schedule.
Mom said, if you want to sleep, go to sleep, and I will rest.
When I woke up after squinting for a while, the baby was still asleep, so I walked out lightly and went to the second bedroom. Seeing that my mother had woken up and was lying on her stomach in bed looking at my phone, I sat silently and casually in front of the computer and busied myself with the to-do items in the vx memo.
At this time, I heard her tell me that my father wanted him to go back tomorrow, and it just so happened that the second brother was also going to go back in Luoyang, so he could take a ride.
In an instant, my heart sank at once, and I couldn't say whether it was attachment or dependence. I didn't answer the phone, and I didn't know if I wanted to keep it.
In my 10s, I was not bound by my family and was always studying and working outside.
It's just that at the moment, when I need to accompany myself, my mother comes to accompany me, and every time I leave, I can't face it, for fear that a tear that can't stop tears will break the embankment.
I still remember the last time I took care of me for a week, always cautious in front of me, when she left to get into the car, turn around I cried uncontrollably. Back at home, I inadvertently found that several pictures of Grandpa Mao appeared under the mouse pad.
The reality is that so far, even if she is with me meticulously with the children, taking care of all my life. I still plan every day and have a lot of busy work.
If she goes back, she can't imagine what kind of mess my life will be like next, and there are some paid dance classes and self-media classes starting next Sunday, which is even more wasteful.
Around 18:00 in the afternoon, busy, the body felt stiff, I proposed to go to the supermarket outside to buy some steamed bread and vegetables, went to the supermarket, the mother looked like she was going to leave, proactively wanted to buy bread for the child, bought a box of ham, a box of ad calcium milk, and opened the Mobile Phone WeChat Payment page at the cashier.
At that time, I was blocked with a stubbornness in my heart, my eye circles were hot, I felt uncomfortable, I had to pay for myself, and finally I fought for WeChat payment without my flexible mother.
These days my mother has been holding the child, following my various arrangements, and always using all her eyes, feet and feet on me. It was like a radar, ready to go at the speed of light, and then my next task was to try my best to complete it, making me the center.
Sometimes I panic in a hurry, I will dislike her inflexibility and ignorance, and I will chatter. But seeing that she always focused on me, I often felt ashamed and embarrassed after the fact.
It is precisely because she is my absolutely trusted mother that I am unguarded, casually carrying my temper and willfulness to express emotions at will, which makes me very conflicted. I think I should value the efforts of others. I am a sinner.
Even if I don't give up or need it, I think I should face and solve it. After dinner, I proposed to go out with my mother again, and by the way, I added some toilet paper to the house, and my mother, who never said no, naturally responded.
The moon is like water, and my heart ripples. After going out in the evening, at the entrance of the small supermarket, mom and child sat on a small stool outside, and I took the rolls of paper I bought, and bought jelly for the baby by the way, and three milk popsicles, one for each of the three of us.
The atmosphere is as simple and easy as possible to talk about some words, such as the career plan she wants to be in line with her age, I saw the light in her eyes, but then dissipated, she said the embarrassment of not being able to go back, although she has never said negative and complaining words, just a few words, I can understand her helplessness and unavoidable, then I have the answer in my heart.
Everyone is an independent individual from birth, and my parents just brought me into this world and took responsibility for us.
But in adulthood, for the future, we should all learn to grow independently and learn to bravely face the hardships and hardships in life. Learn to take responsibility for your own life.
Children should be filial when they should be filial, parents should be perfect when they should be perfect, they should respect each other, and they should not interfere with each other.
We should also not morally kidnap each other, and the healthy relationship between parents and children lies in the fact that when they raise their children into adulthood, they are first of their own and then their parents.
We should each realize our dreams in life according to our own life trajectory, or we should realize our own value in this life. It's all about age and gender, not about being old and useless, and having to take a baby or become a nanny for the next generation.
There is no limit to life, as long as you want to try to become the person you aspire to be, then go with your heart.
Each of us should have an independent and constantly sound personality, so that we can be truly soulful and living people, and only then should we have true happiness.
Between parents and children, it is never about giving and taking, it should be about embracing and achieving.
Just like any good relationship in life, it must be a two-way street, and it should be more so between parents and children.