The family tutor style | raise positive and optimistic children, and break the anxiety with a normal heart

On February 26, Olympic champion and table tennis Grand Slam winner Deng Yaping and Yun Mei, editor-in-chief of Beijing Publishing Group's "Parents' Must Read" magazine and secretary general of the Beijing Family Education Research Association, held a dialogue on how to raise positive and optimistic children, and answered questions for parents in the live broadcast room, and the cumulative number of online viewers of this live broadcast reached 335,000.

Olympic champion and table tennis Grand Slam winner Deng Yaping (right) Yun Mei, editor-in-chief of Beijing Publishing Group's "Parents' Must Read" magazine and secretary general of Beijing Family Education Research Association (left)

In the live broadcast, Olympic champion Deng Yaping shared from the perspective of her extraordinary life, the growth of her son and the current situation of modern adolescent family growth, what kind of family education should we give our children, in order to help children grow better and have a unique future that belongs to him.

Deng Yaping first shared her own champion growth story.

At the age of 9, she had already won against all the little girls of the same age in the Henan Provincial Team, but the coach thought that she was "too short to have cultivation value".

From then on, Deng Yaping began to look for her own unique way of playing, summing up this method as "two fast, one fierce plus one strange" - to run faster than others; to play faster than others; to beat harder than others; to play strangely than others.

She also explained the specific meaning of these words, such as she knows that she is short, so if she wants to protect the platform from being restricted by others, she must run fast; if she wants to mobilize the other party, she must fight fast, but also fight hard, fight strangely...

Deng Yaping jokingly said that all her tricks are to solve the "ultimate problem" of her height, but this is how and how she climbed to the top of the world table tennis world.

Method is a key word that Deng Yaping mentioned many times when discussing the issue of family education, and she emphasized that parents should pay more attention to letting children learn to explore methods and master methods in learning or in other aspects, just as she herself found a way to deal with her own height problem.

At the same time, she suggested that parents should make the definition of "success" a little wider, and grasp the fundamental task of family education more accurately - using their correct words and deeds to subtly influence children, and pay attention to the cultivation of children's moral character and the cultivation of will quality.

When the role is transformed from a world champion to a mother, Deng Yaping hopes that children can bring sportsmanship and sports habits to life and learning.

In the family, she is not willing to let her son live in the shadow of her mother being the world champion, but what she hopes her children inherit is the hard work of preferring to compete with herself, the attitude of life that does not throw the pot to life, the will quality of daring to fight no matter what difficulties she encounters, and the strong psychological quality.

Deng Yaping said: "Now parents have high expectations for their children, and the pressure on their children is relatively large, but this is also for the sake of their children, which is beyond doubt, but if you only measure a child's good or bad by achievements, or 'only the gold medal theory', you may not really be able to help the child, it may hurt the child's original passion and interest, and it is more likely to destroy the child's self-confidence, which is really 'losing on the starting line'." ”

Deng Yaping believes that self-confidence is the most important foundation for children's growth. In order to cultivate this important foundation of self-confidence, parents should give their children enough room to grow, have enough respect for their children, and let their children have free development.

Want to raise positive and optimistic children first of all to be positive and optimistic parents, in the child's growth path, Deng Yaping is an "observer", "participant" and more "feedback", so that the scientific and rational concept of parenting has also been praised by parents in the live broadcast room.

In the conversation with Deng Yaping, Yun Mei, editor-in-chief of "Parents Must Read" magazine and secretary general of the Beijing Family Education Research Association, shared her views from the professional perspective of children's growth and development laws, combined with the knowledge of education and psychology, she mentioned that parents should learn to think about family education with a systematic and developmental vision, clarify the changes and changes in family education, in order to find a suitable family education method and raise positive and optimistic children.

Yun Mei said that she hopes that the child's psychological growth is neither as fragile as a glass ball, nor as hard as a steel ball, but as elastic and tough as a rubber ball, which is like a child's anti-setback ability and psychological elasticity; and the most like snowball, as long as there is wet snow and a long enough ramp, it can roll bigger and bigger, just like Gu Ailing and Su Yiming, such excellent young people, their path to success is like a "snowball", constantly overcoming difficulties, meeting challenges, and exercising their abilities more and more powerful.

On the issue of children's interest, Yun Mei also shared her own views, interest is the child's growth of the nutrient, children are born with a strong interest in the world, parents should learn to stimulate children's interest, and provide certain conditions and space, in the process to give children some staged sense of achievement, give timely positive feedback, so as to enhance the child's self-motivation, the interest developed into a lasting love.

In the self-growth of parents, Yun Mei said that we should strive to be parents with a growth mindset.

"None of us are perfect parents, but there are many ways to be good parents." Become a better parent, accept their imperfections, consciously reflect and adjust, maintain a positive and peaceful attitude in the process of accompanying children's growth, and learn while practicing.

Being a growth parent can cultivate a growing child, and the growth mindset will make the child develop a positive and optimistic attitude.

In the face of the anxiety of young parents, Yun Mei said: We must correctly look at anxiety, do not amplify and problem normal events, resulting in unnecessary excessive anxiety.

Raising children is not a problem of 0 or 1, we should look at it differently, establish a healthy view of development, a child's view and a talent concept, in order to discover the existing advantages in the child, and build more of the child's self-confidence.

In the problem of raising children, parents should be gardeners, scientific "fertilization" and "watering", allowing children to grow into different appearances, rather than being carpenters, and only "carving" children according to their own wishes.

What we want to cultivate is a child who faces the future, and positive optimism is a core quality, which is a plus and a must.

Raising a positive and optimistic child is the greatest blessing of parents and the best life gift that parents give their children.

The essence of this live broadcast will also be specially presented in the "Parents Must Read" magazine, welcome to continue to pay attention!

Sources

Institute of Parenting Sciences