The author | Dong Lin Fu
After the baby is born, no one helps, basically by the mother alone with the baby, I think this is a problem that many new mothers will face.
After I gave birth to my daughter and took maternity leave, I also thought of many ways, including letting my mother help me, letting my mother-in-law help with the child, finding a nanny, etc., but in the end, they all failed, and I could only take my daughter alone.
1, Bao Mom alone with a baby, there are advantages and disadvantages.
In fact, by the mother alone with the baby, I don't think there is any need to feel unbalanced, or feel too wronged, I will talk about my experience and real thoughts.
For me, it was really hard for me to accept being at home all day. The previous monthly salary disappeared. Even if the children are older, they can work part-time at home, and the salary is much less, so at the beginning I did all kinds of "struggles" to find the right person to help me with the children.
But in the end, there was no other way, only to take the baby by himself, and he silently accepted.
Daughter from birth is basically I alone in the belt, the child's father occasionally hit a hand, I and the child's feelings are getting deeper and deeper, the longer I take the child, the more reluctant to let the child let others to take, this is the strangeness of human feelings. I think this is also the innate "self-protection" attraction of human cubs.
After experiencing it, I found that although Bao Mom took the baby alone, tired and bitter, it also saved a lot of contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and the conflict between the new and old concepts in the baby, and there were many benefits for raising the baby herself.
A one-sentence summary is that although you are physically tired with your baby, you are not tired; let the old man help with the baby, physically it will be easier, but it may also be tired.
In a good mood, everything will be better.
2, bao mother with a baby, pay attention to synchronize with the baby's work and rest.
Many mothers have such a misunderstanding, it is not easy for the baby to sleep, the mother quickly races against the clock to brush the mobile phone, play happily, in fact, it is very unwise to do so.
Waiting for the baby is not an easy thing, the experience of the mother knows that within half the age of the baby, the baby at night to eat milk, urinate, the mother is impossible to sleep well, every night up 7, 8 times more than 7, 8 times to feed the baby, change diapers, wash small farts, etc. is very normal, it is difficult for the mother to rest well at night.
Therefore, if the baby sleeps, the mother can not enter the sleep in time with the baby, then the high probability of the mother will not sleep enough, the mother sleep will not only affect the health, but also lead to bad temper, bad mood, which will not only affect the quality of the mother's care for the baby, but also affect the family harmony.
Therefore, I suggest that the mother should be consistent with the little baby's work and rest, whether it is day or night, the baby sleeps, the baby mother quickly follows the rest and sleep together, so that when the baby wakes up, the mother has sufficient energy and a good mood to take care of the baby, and it is also conducive to the mother's own physical and mental health.
3, the mother with the baby, while doing early education for the child at home.
Mothers generally like to read parenting books and parenting knowledge, and the concept of bringing a baby is relatively advanced.
At that time, I often saw old men and women in the small garden of the community with children like this: let the children sit in the trolley, the old people chatted hotly on the side, or played cards on the stone table next to them, and if the children did not cry, let the children play by themselves.
I bought my daughter a set of Montessori early education game books, which are all Montessori original early education games, as well as some of Montessori's early education children's concept, I take children, while playing early education games with children, my daughter is obviously smarter than her peers, even taller than other children, my daughter is now in the kindergarten class of 30 children, she is the tallest.
Therefore, with a baby, the mother will pay more attention to science, while taking the baby at home to do early education for the child, play and develop the child's brain without delay.
4, some of the mother's hands to liberate the baby "artifact" is indispensable.
In order to secure the baby and save time, I used some nice "artifacts" with the baby.
Like the bed circumference. When my daughter began to climb, I resolutely bought her a bed, before buying I consulted a lot of information, in order to ensure safety, I first bought a more expensive, better quality brand.
On the other hand, at the junction between the bed and the bed, I put a buckwheat-skin pillow to make sure there was no gap between the bed and the bed wall, so that the child would not get stuck inside.
In this way, when the child plays in bed or sleeps at night, it is impossible to fall from the bed to the floor, and when the child plays or sleeps in the bed, I can also wash clothes or clean the room, of course, I also have to look at the child from time to time to ensure that the child is safe.
Also, I bought a playpen for my kids in the living room.
This is also installed for children after they can climb. On the one hand, children can safely and enjoy crawling and playing in the fence to exercise their physical coordination. On the other hand, it can also allow the mother to free her hands, so that the child is in a safer fence, and the mother is more at ease.
The fence in this living room is probably used from the child for 8 months until the child is one and a half years old, because the child is older, his subjective consciousness will become stronger and stronger, and the child will not be willing to stay in the fence.
On the contrary, the fence on the bed, the daughter is now more than 4 years old, still has not been withdrawn, because she sleeps dishonestly, at night sleep will continue to roll over, the bed has a fence, I am more relieved.
5. Join the Bao Mama group and communicate more.
A person's strength is always limited, join the baoma group, exchange the sweet and sour with the baby, and solve various problems in the process of taking the baby together, you will not feel too lonely.
At that time, I often appeared alone with children in the community and nearby parks, and a few mothers took the initiative to come and talk to me, saying that they had been paying attention to me for a long time, and they always saw me walking alone with their children, and then we exchanged experiences with each other, that feeling was very good, communicating with each other, communicating with each other, psychologically feeling that it was not a person working hard.
When the husband is at home, he also tries to let the father have more contact with the child, after all, whether in terms of blood or obligation, it is also a natural thing for the father to take the baby, but for a long time it seems that the baby is the mother's business, and the father should be the same as the treasurer.
In fact, this is not good for children and fathers. If dad neglects to take the baby, the parent-child relationship between father and son or father and daughter will be estranged, on the other hand, dad also loses a lot of good time to share the joy of the world, which is a pity.
Of course, parenting experts have also repeatedly called for that fathers with babies will make children smarter, braver, responsible, etc., so mothers can be the main force with babies, but fathers should also actively participate in it, do not leave regrets for their children's childhood.
6, Bao Mom alone with the baby, at the same time do not give up to improve themselves.
As the baby grows older, the mother's personal time will increase. Use the time between the baby to read more books, listen to more books, take some documents by the way, or learn some skills to accumulate strength for yourself to return to the workplace or start your own business.
I advocate that if possible and conditions permit, it is best for the child to be brought by herself before the age of 6, but I am also opposed to women giving up promoting themselves and giving up financial independence after having children.
In fact, for mothers, only at a certain stage will the time be inclined to the child and the family, and not after giving birth to the baby, will always be willing to be a full-time mother, has been financially dependent on others.
Of course, for the family that achieves economic freedom, bao mom can give up work, but giving up work and giving up self-growth and promotion are two different things, even if you don't have to run for money, you must also have the confidence and ability to return to the workplace at any time.
The above is my impressions and experiences after becoming a mother, just a family word, I hope that mothers will say your thoughts and experiences and experiences in the comment area, and everyone will discuss and progress together.