On the child's report card, there are also parental grades.
Behind every bully child, there are excellent and sharp parents.
------------------------
﹏
Author 丨 Coke Mom
Source 丨 Boy Pie Original
"My child has just entered the first year of junior high school, and he is already destined to go to Peking University.
Why?
I designed it in advance. ”
This passage originated from a speech by Wang Jinzhan that I saw by chance.
People who don't understand the name may think he's bragging.
But after looking at his resume, you will find that with his experience, he is fully capable of doing this:
Wang Jinzhan has been teaching for more than thirty years.
He once led a class of 55 students, of which 37 entered Tsinghua and Peking University, and 10 entered Cambridge University, Oxford University, Yale University and other famous universities in the United States.
He is currently the Executive Dean of the Institute of Basic Education of the University of Chinese Academy of Sciences and the Chief Consultant of International Education in Massachusetts, USA.
In his view, it is not so much the difference between children that is the grade and the score, but rather the poor is the parents' planning, cognition and persistence.
You think that famous schools pick children, but you don't know that they are all parents.
Parents' planning,
Determine the height of your child's future
As a father and an educator, Wang Jinzhan naturally hopes that his children can enter a prestigious school in the future.
But after a period of observation, he realized that his daughter's intelligence was actually very ordinary.
At such a level, it is almost a fool's dream to want to enter Peking University.
So he decided to help his children plan and design in advance.
After studying the enrollment policies of famous schools such as Tsinghua University and Peking University, he found that he could let his children take the road of special students.
After comparison, Wang Jinzhan chose an instrument for his daughter:
Zhong Nguyen.
On the one hand, Zhongruan meets the enrollment needs of Tsinghua university and Peking University;
On the other hand, this instrument is relatively unpopular, with fewer people learning it and less competition.
More importantly, my daughter has just started the first year of junior high school this year, and even if she starts to study now, she will not delay too much time every day.
In this way, in the third year of high school, Wang Jinzhan also reported for his daughter the winter camps of Peking University, Tsinghua University, and Renmin University.
In the professional tests of all three schools, the daughter was the first.
Later, she was successfully admitted to Peking University.
Someone might say:
It is not because Wang Jinzhan himself is an education expert, to change to ordinary parents, this child will definitely not be able to go to Peking University.
Remember the Lei Zi Ang who was admitted to five world famous universities such as Imperial College London, the University of Edinburgh, and the University of Illinois in the United States?
His parents were just ordinary bank clerks.
But in the growth of the child, Xiao Lei's parents began to plan and prepare early:
Traveling around with his son to broaden his horizons;
Discover and cultivate your son's interests and hobbies, and look for advantages that can be magnified in your children;
Support his son's choice and let him pursue his dreams without worries...
After years of planning, in the end, help children plan a path to success.
In this day and age, choice and effort are just as important, if not more important.
Like Wang Jinzhan, we can understand the policy of further education, enrollment information, and the situation of children around us, so as to cultivate children's corresponding abilities according to the needs of the outside world;
You can also be like Xiao Lei's parents, starting from the child's interests and hobbies, and customizing a path that belongs to their own children.
But either way, it follows the old saying:
Everything is predetermined, and if it is not predetermined, it is abolished.
Parental cognition,
It's the ceiling for kids
In his speech, Wang Jinzhan mentioned such a thing:
When the child finishes the homework and asks the parent to sign it, it is a time to test the wisdom of the parent.
"Some parents pick faults first.
The child's composition is so well written, he does not appreciate, but first see if the child has typos, there are no typos, he thinks that the child's words are ugly, and he can always find the shortcomings of the child. ”
Seeing more, Wang Jinzhan also found out the psychology of this kind of parent:
Because this kind of parents are often very demanding of their children, they are afraid to give their children a little praise, and the children will be proud and complacent.
Speaking of this, Wang Jinzhan said with a serious expression:
"The process of these parents signing their children every day is the process of finding their children's shortcomings and finding their children's deficiencies."
As a result, the more you look for shortcomings, the worse your child's grades become. ”
After listening to Wang Jinzhan's words, many parents suddenly realized:
In the process of educating children, they often only see the mistake in front of them.
However, it is ignored that scolding, criticism, accusation, comparison and other behaviors will not only make children lose confidence in learning, but also have a negative impact on children's intelligence.
In fact, mistakes are the best teachers for children.
The growth of each child is a process of continuous exploration, continuous attempting, and continuous improvement.
Some time ago, I saw a speech about psychologist He Lingfeng.
In the speech, Teacher He told such a thing:
Once, my daughter scored 59 in math.
I didn't dare to show my mother the report card, so I covered the grade with my hand and asked him to sign it.
Teacher He did not force her daughter to let go of her hand, but patiently discussed with her daughter: No matter how ugly your score is, I promise not to talk about you.
Therefore, the daughter carefully showed Teacher He the results.
After seeing the "59" on the test paper, Teacher He took a deep breath, tried to control his emotions, and asked his daughter as calmly as possible:
"How many points did the best student in your class score this time?"
"100 points."
"How many 100 points?"
"There are so many."
Subsequently, he analyzed with his daughter:
"There are two types of exams, one is a selective test and the other is a diagnostic test.
You see, so many people in your class take a 100 point means they don't have to take the test because they haven't diagnosed anything.
And you diagnosed the problem of 41 points, find out and correct these problems, and you are the biggest beneficiary of this exam. ”
When a child makes a mistake, it is actually a time to test the wisdom of the parents.
A parent with a growth mindset can often use mistakes as opportunities for their children's growth:
Give your child recognition and encouragement, help him analyze problems, and face difficulties with him.
Having done this, even if the child is stumbling at first, please believe that every day in the future, the child is moving in a better direction.
Parents who persevere with their hearts,
Widen the gap between children
Now, many parents are troubled by their children's addiction to mobile phones, and they always feel that their children are not self-disciplined enough.
But Wang Jinzhan said:
The truth is that parents do not urge their children to develop good habits from an early age.
So that children have not experienced the pleasure brought by self-discipline, nor can they feel the attraction brought by learning.
He said:
"If you want the field not to grow grass, the best way is to plant crops in the field.
If you want a smart child not toss, cultivate his habit of reading. ”
Looking at the children who have been admitted to prestigious schools, it is not difficult to find:
Their self-discipline and excellence all begin with the supervision and guidance of parents, fall into education, and finally adhere to day after day.
Last year, the media interviewed the father of a bully girl in Chongqing who was admitted to Peking University.
When asked how to raise such a good child, the father said that he had not been trained at all!
But after digging deeper, I found that:
The father's "no cultivation" is not resigned, but focuses on the subtleties and cultivates the child's learning habits for many years.
Since the age of 1, my father has bought a lot of picture books and books suitable for children.
"When she was a child, she couldn't understand it, so we told her that she mainly looked at pictures.
Slowly, she showed it to us to tell the story. ”
Dad has adhered to this tradition for many years.
The daughter also fell in love with reading and gradually developed a good habit of concentration and self-discipline.
Perhaps in the eyes of many people, sending children to Peking University and Tsinghua University is a huge engineering thing.
But this dad never thought so.
He believes that as a parent, what you can do is actually very simple, that is, to lead by example and provide a good learning atmosphere for children.
When the child can't read, read it to her little by little, even if it's just a picture.
Smart parents know that there are no shortcuts and secrets to raising a good child.
It is nothing more than cultivating children's good habits from an early age, a little more persistence than others, and a little more effort, until the gap that others can no longer catch up with.
Knowing that there is a hot topic, is it a lie not to let the child lose at the starting line?
The following Gaozan replied:
This sentence is not a lie, but just the wrong object.
Not wanting to let the child lose on the starting line, it is not to toss the child back and forth, but to toss himself to death now.
In fact, parents are the real starting line of children, and it is parents who decide where a child starts to run, where to run, and how to run. ”
Although there are differences in talent between different children, they are far less than we think.
But in the end, some children go all the way, enter the famous schools, and enjoy the circles, resources, insights and patterns given by the famous schools.
Some children, on the other hand, are muddled and even worn away by the light in their eyes.
The difference is the gap between parents.
For the sake of children's future lives, what we must do is to continue to learn, explore, plan, design and adhere to from now on.
Parenting, first self-rearing; tutoring, first teach yourself.
After all, only if we take a big step ourselves can we guide our children to keep moving forward.
* This article is the original boy pie, my family has boys, growth exchange platform, 3 million elite parents have paid attention to us.
Honey, if our article is helpful to you, "star us"★! That way you won't miss the daily push!