On February 14, Sun Li sent out a 500-word parenting essay, sharing the confusion of his son's "etc." in growing up — he didn't want to be an older brother, he wanted to be a younger brother or a younger sister.
It turned out that the pressure of being a brother was too great, everyone felt that the brother let the sister take it for granted, and the good things they did would not be praised, and the sister would get exaggerated praise as long as she did a little, "Wow, this sister is so good, they will share it with their brother, they use the word 'surprisingly'." ”
After patiently listening to his son's confession, Sun Li comforted him, accepted the child's emotions, and told his son that he could continue to share his grievances with himself in the future.
However, such a warm sharing has caused controversy, and several comments at the top of the comment area believe that Sun Li is not suitable for Using Weibo as a circle of friends, and also criticized her for "eating and drinking Lasa's family".
In fact, in my opinion, "star" is just a profession, in addition, Sun Li has a more important identity, that is, the mother of the child, as a mother, to share their parenting experience with everyone, record the son's growth process, why not?
And reading her education style after her son confided in grievances, her performance is exemplary, and there are many places worth learning from our parents.
What should I do if my child confides in you? Parents should know how to "empathize"
Sun Li once wrote on his Weibo: "When a child has feelings of dissatisfaction, anger, and sadness, all he needs is a hug from you." Don't preach, understand him from his point of view, support him, encourage him, and talk about those big truths when they are in a good mood. ”
In fact, Sun Li did indeed do this, when waiting to confide in her the grievances of "outsiders think that brothers must let sisters", Sun Li did not carry out a long lecture, but said to him "I understand your feelings very much", supported his son to directly express feedback when he encountered similar situations, and encouraged him to expound his ideas.
Child psychology believes that when a child encounters grievances, the most important thing is not to "preach" to him, but to "empathize".
Many "Chinese parents" who do not understand this will always inadvertently use hurtful words to make their children drift away.
"Today I got into a fight with my classmates at school and I hate him"
"What's going on?" Can you save me a snack day by day? Am I tired and tired easily? ”
In the face of children's outpouring, if parents can not empathize, just stand in the perspective of adults to criticize, in the long run, no matter how lively and cheerful children, it is difficult to be willing to share the bits and pieces of life with their parents, let alone after being wronged, "ask for help" from their parents, and the parent-child relationship is destroyed.
When the child expresses grievances, only by letting him know that we can understand his feelings, the child will be willing to continue to talk, and the parent-child relationship can establish a normal communication mode and solve the problem.
Children are independent individuals, and parents should know how to respect
As a mother, after the son poured out his grievances, Sun Li could not only empathize with the child and "empathize" with the child, but also think from the perspective of the child, saying to him that "it is not because they are adults, all the statements are correct, and the children can also expound their own ideas", which is also very valuable.
In life, many parents are always accustomed to accusations rather than understanding when getting along with their children; they are accustomed to "giving orders" to their children, but they rarely care about their children's feelings; they are accustomed to standing on a high place and "looking down" on their children, and never treating their children as an independent individual, which finally causes endless harm to their children.
In fact, children are not only the children of their parents, but also independent individuals, they also have moods and sorrows, have their own ideas, and have their own careful thoughts.
As parents, we can't always put on a "high posture" of a superior person, and only by knowing how to respect our children can we give him a higher quality of love.
I remember seeing some netizens share before, she said that she liked to write a diary for a while, and also learned the look of her classmates, deliberately put the diary on the table, marked it with hair, and saw if anyone would peek.
To her surprise, a week passed, the diary was never touched, and her mother often told her that "the diary is your privacy, you have to put it away, your grandmother will never read my diary, and I will not look at you."
After waiting for high school, she fell in love early, and her mother not only did not object, but also often helped her "give advice" and listened to her share her daily life.
Later she asked her mother, "Why didn't you say you broke my leg at that time?" ”
Mom just smiled and said, "My own daughter, I know that you will definitely not delay your future because of love, I don't want you to treat me as an enemy, we should be friends." ”
The netizen sighed: "My mother's education for me is completely based on the trust and respect for an equal and independent personality, I am grateful, and I know my luck, because of her, I know that I will not be alone at any time." ”
Just like Sun Li's way of educating her children and the experience of this netizen, only when parents respect their children can children grow up healthier and more carefree and have a more complete personality.
Crooked Mom Conclusion:
Sun Li often shares her daily life on Weibo, and many netizens have expressed envy: she and Deng Chao not only have a successful career, but also take care of their children so sensibly and excellently.
How the child will behave depends largely on the parents' education method, if we can all be like Sun Li to "teach the child to be good", then the child will certainly not be bad.
Today's topic: What did you learn from Sun Li's education methods?
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