I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
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In the process of taking the baby to communicate with people, there will be many embarrassing moments, if you want to express your attitude, I am afraid that the other party thinks too much, if you do not express your attitude, the child will not be able to pass this pass.
Our neighbor aunt is a very enthusiastic old man, her baby is 2 months away from my baby, can play together, so often play together.
But because parenting concepts are different, there are often some of the above embarrassing moments.
For example, yesterday she brought her baby to my house to play, my baby was lying on the ground playing, she said to the baby with a straight face: "Don't lie on the ground, the ground is dirty, there are a lot of bacteria on the ground..."
My baby was instantly scared to cry by her, she was well-intentioned, but the baby couldn't understand it at all.
I quickly comforted the baby, saying that it doesn't matter, the baby can play on the ground, the ground at home is clean, and after going out, you can't play on the ground...
For example, yesterday near noon, we came out of the supermarket, my baby wanted to eat yogurt strips, I took it to her to eat, the neighbor baby also wanted to eat, Grandma did not let her eat, the reason is that it is noon soon, to eat.
My baby finished eating one, and I still want to eat, I took one for her again, and the aunt said to the baby again with a serious face: "Don't eat it, it's going to be lunch soon..."
With a serious face, coupled with a threatening tone, the baby is crying again...
I handed her the yogurt strip and comforted her, and the neighbor aunt said, "You can't teach your child this way, as soon as she cries, she will eat it!" ”
At that moment I was embarrassed, the baby cried, not because she couldn't get the yogurt strips, but because she was scared by her "can't" and harsh tone and expression, and I never restricted her from eating milk tablets and yogurt strips.
"No, our educational philosophy is different, your baby rules are big, my baby rules are small, I never restrict her." I said something that was held in my heart, and she was a little embarrassed.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="71" > basic rules to follow, but children can enjoy a little more freedom</h1>
Neighbor aunt, the most common sentence is: "My child has big rules, if she doesn't let her do anything, she won't do anything, the child must be strictly managed, so that there is education, and only then can there be a career in the future." ”
According to this parenting method, as long as the severity is controlled within a certain range, I believe that she will educate the child very well, and the girl will become the way she expects, well-behaved and sensible.
But it can also be counterproductive, and it is obvious that this baby, who is controlled everywhere, has to eat non-stop as soon as he arrives at my house, and he has to try to do all kinds of things that grandma does not allow her to do, but it is a bit extreme.
But I don't want my children to be well-behaved and sensible children, because I think that for children, how well-behaved they are in childhood, how twisted they are when they become adults, and these feelings are only known to them, and the disasters of life still need to be experienced by themselves.
Lucky people, met a good environment and people, passed the psychological hurdle, unfortunate people, may not have a high sense of happiness in their lives.
I think for children, the basic rules and rules should be observed, and the basic etiquette should be done, but within these basic rules, the child can choose freely and live as he pleases.
In other words, I don't expect too much from my child, I just want her to be a happy, principled, and ordinary person.
The details are so small that the child can lie or sit in any comfortable position at home, lying on the sofa or sitting on the ground.
So old that children can choose their own interests and hobbies, and do not have to cater to anyone to learn things that they are not interested in.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="81" > Fan Xiaoxuan's perfect childhood and adult rebellion</h1>
The name Fan Xiaoxuan was once too popular, and in the 90s, it was simply a household name.
Fan Xiaoxuan, a genius girl who was originally known to everyone, seems to have suddenly become a negative character and become a "bad girl" in people's mouths.
Fan Xiaoxuan lived with her mother since she was a child, learned various instruments and learned music from an early age, she did not disappoint her mother, she was very talented in music, and signed a brokerage company at a young age to become a singer who was popular with the company.
After she became angry, she began to resist all this, she was not the "good girl" that everyone thought, she had a strong sense of rebellion in her heart, she cut her hair short, did a lot of things that the parents could not accept, and became a representative of rebellion.
I remember when I was a child, everyone rumored that it was very outrageous, and some people even said that she had a ring of ear holes in her ears, pierced the nerves, and then the whole person went crazy, look, how outrageous the rumors are!
After the transformation, she was boycotted, the album could not be sold, and she was depressed.
But then she dumped the boyfriend who had been with her, and then found an "ugly man" from the mountain village, and even removed the womb for him.
For Fan Xiaoxuan, how well-behaved she was in her childhood, how rebellious she was later in life.
It is because of the long-suppressed nature, to go to a well-behaved girl according to the requirements of the mother, so there was a later crazy counterattack, after independence, that kind of rebellion doubled back.
Fortunately, all this has passed, before Fan Xiaoxuan and three other sisters participated in a variety show, the whole person's state is very good, the whole person looks very literary, as she grows older, she has come out of that dark, rebellious stage and repositioned the trajectory of life.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="92" > "perfection" is pursued by parents, not spontaneously pursued by children</h1>
The child's world should be innocent, and their main task is to have fun and grow up in the game.
But many parents, in order to satisfy their vanity, in order to make up for the regrets of the past, spend all their minds on their children, they face their children like facing a machine, and want to try to let their children grow up in the direction they set through strict discipline.
This is a nightmare for children.
From a parent's point of view, to look at parenting, we should use "should" instead of "can't", which will reduce the feeling of stress.
When there is a problem with the child's behavior, parents should guide them in time to say "what should be done, is the right thing to do", instead of often telling the child "You can't do this, you can't do that." ”
For young children, "should" is more likely to attract their attention, and babies are more likely to follow the rules in this context.
However, "can't", can not play a guiding effect, but it is easy to stimulate children's antipathy, especially after the child enters puberty.
Each child has different qualifications, and parents should guide them according to their children's qualifications, rather than forcing their children to become an excellent person.