In the "Three Character Classic", an enlightenment textbook compiled by the Song Dynasty classic historian Wang Yinglin, it is said: "Dou Yanshan, there is a righteous party; teaching the five sons, the name is famous." This is a high summary of Dou Yanshan's education of children. With the wide dissemination of the "Three Character Classic", the name of Dou Yanshan has been known to women and children for thousands of years, and it has become a "model father" admired by the world. When the chancellor Feng Dao and Dou Yanshan were old friends, they also inscribed the poem "Dou Shilang": "Yanshan Dou Shilang, the godson has a righteous side." Lingchun one old plant, dangui five branches fang. This poem was widely circulated among scholars, and people called Dou Yanshan's family "Five Sons Dengke" and "Yanshan Five Gui".
Dou Yanshan's five sons and three grandsons all became jinshi and later became important members of the dprk. What is the secret recipe of this godson"? As a descendant of Dou, by reading a large number of circulating materials, conducting in-depth study and thinking, combining his own learning experience, and synthesizing the views of scholars from all over the world, he feels that this secret recipe can be explored and interpreted from at least the following "four angles":
First, from the perspective of Dou Yanshan's intention in naming the child
Dou Yanshan knows that for children, learning cultural knowledge may not be too difficult, the difficult thing is how to be a person and how to establish good conduct. So he took pains to name his children. Judging from the names of Dou Yanshan's five sons, there is a liren on the left, and from the eldest to the youngest, they are Yi, Yu, Kan, 偁, and 僖. And each word name is positive energy: the right half of the yi is righteousness, justice, obligation, and the meaning of family and country feelings; the right half of the yi is a strict character, strict, strict, and has the meaning of not doing to others what you do not want; the right half of the kan reads zé, which means forced and persecuted, that is, to have a sense of pressure; the right half of the word 偁字, the ancient same name (name) word, that is, the meaning of approval; the right half of the word is joy and love. Dou Yanshan's intention in naming his son was to be a man first, then to do things, first to be virtuous, and then to have talent, which can be described as well-intentioned.
Second, from the perspective of the meaning word "righteous fang" of Dou Yanshan's godson
In this "righteous side" two words, a definite word "righteousness" can be said to break the sky in one word. From Dou Yanshan's handling of people, it is not difficult to see that this "righteousness" can be interpreted as:
One is justice. Dou Yujun was rich on the one hand, but he was diligent and thrifty, enthusiastic about local public welfare, he spent money to build Dou's Academy, gathered thousands of volumes, asked teachers to teach children, all aspirants could come to study for free, and he also provided financial support for outstanding people. Many local cold people, through studying here, enter the career to change their destiny.
The second is morality. Dou Yujun once went to Yanqing Temple to incense, and found a package on the side of the steps of the apse, which contained two hundred and two pieces of silver and thirty two pieces of gold. He waited until the lost owner came to claim it. Knowing that it was his father's "life money" to atone for his sins, Dou Yujun also gave some money. Usually, he also spares money and helps others for pleasure, not only among relatives and friends in difficulty, he often takes the initiative to help each other, that is, many poor people in the township, who have no money to do funerals or can not afford to do dowries, he also generously contributes.
The third is benevolence and righteousness. There was a servant in Dou Yujun's family who took advantage of his work to embezzle a large amount of money from the Dou family, and wrote a voucher, "Forever sell this woman, and pay the money with this house", tied it to his daughter's arm, and left his hometown. When Dou Yujun found out, he immediately burned the voucher and adopted the girl. After raising her to adulthood, Dou Yujun posted a dowry and sent her to marry. The servant later learned of the Dou family's righteousness and quickly returned to apologize. Dou Yujun forgave him and did not mention the previous events again.
From these three "righteousnesses", it can be seen that Dou Yujun has a good teaching son, and the core is to teach and infiltrate his children through his own words and deeds and good family style, so that his children can be educated in a subtle way.
Third, from the perspective of Dou Yanshan's idea of educating children
No matter what you do, the idea of thinking is very important. According to the large number of stories of Dou Yanshan's godsons and many pictures of godsons, it can be seen that Dou Yanshan's idea of educating his five sons is very clear and pragmatic.
The first is to teach by example and give children good character. As a rich N generation, Dou Yanshan inevitably has some bad habits, but he can change his past wrongs and cultivate his body. For example, helping the poor, opening private schools at home, and inviting children from poor families to study for free. Usually, Dou Yanshan leads by example, uses his actual words and deeds to influence children, and shapes a good character for children.
The second is the influence of the environment to give children good knowledge. Dou Yanshan's family runs a private school, which invisibly creates a natural learning environment for his five sons. He often reads and studies with his children. For example, the Suzhou Museum has a collection of "Dou Yanshan Godson Diagram", which depicts the scene of the father and son six reading and learning. That kind of licking feeling, that kind of fist and fist father love, that kind of father and son six people immersed in the book fragrance of concentration, is vividly interpreted.
The third is family harmony and giving children a good temperament. Although the Dou family has many family members, everyone gets along harmoniously. Husbands and wives respect each other as guests, raise eyebrows together; the brothers and sisters are friendly and humble, which can be described as brothers and sisters, brothers and brothers, and the family loves each other. A harmonious family environment has created a healthy disposition for the five children.
Fourth, from the perspective of The specific behavior and actions of Dou Yanshan's godson
Judging from the specific behavior and actions of Dou Yanshan's godson, I think this secret recipe is mainly manifested in the usual "two stricts": one is Dou Yanshan's "strict cultivation" of himself, and the other is Dou Yanshan's "strict discipline" of his children.
In terms of "strict cultivation" for oneself: this contains two meanings, one is the word "repair". Dou Yanshan, as an official of the N generation, grew up pampered and cultivated many bad habits, but it was rare that he was able to wake up, wake up and encourage himself, and pay attention to correcting himself in the dreams and teachings of his ancestors. The second is the word "for". On the basis of correcting his own mistakes, Dou Yanshan was able to take the initiative to broadcast good deeds, repay grievances with kindness to family thieves, sit on heavy gold and wait for the lost owners, spend huge sums of money to relieve poverty and poverty, and develop education in the study of righteousness. Dou Yanshan led by example and strictly disciplined himself, which played a role in the children's subtlety. His success is inseparable from his personality model and personality charm, which is the importance of family teaching.
In terms of "strict discipline" of children: this also contains two meanings, one is the word "management". Dou Yanshan formulated the "Yanshan Family Training", in which the regulations on being a person, handling affairs, reading, and being an official are very clear and strict, and they can strictly manage in accordance with the regulations and family etiquette requirements, strict requirements, warnings, punishments, right and wrong, and very strict. The second is the word "teach." In practical life, Dou Yanshan can help and teach children hand in hand, pay attention to tempering children in production struggle and class struggle, and cultivate the spirit of children who are not afraid of difficulties and hardships. There is a story that he led his five sons to insist on labor exercise, basking in the sun at noon like long-term workers, dining for his family to deliver, taking a lunch break in the field, and really exercising children in the front line of labor production. There is also a story that in the face of foreign enemies harassment, he led his children, fearless of hardships, dared to fight, and fought with the enemy, and finally influenced foreign races and won victory. In the struggle, the child's courage and emergency response ability have been exercised.