Character ‖ discipline children have rules to follow (2) - the way of the chapter

Second, the way of discipline

The manner of discipline is very important. Proper discipline is a deep and effective deep talk, and improper discipline may become a repetitive and ineffective nagging or even a fuse that provokes children's rebellious emotions.

1. Timing of discipline

The timing of discipline can be divided into pre-event and post-event occurrence. Discipline before the incident requires parents to have a prejudgment, predict who and what things will be integrated into what is about to happen, what behavior will be made according to the child's past performance, and what problems may occur. Combined with these pre-judgments, the child is disciplined in advance to avoid the child's behavior that is too large in the back. Of course, there are often some unexpected situations that we can't predict, and when we encounter such a situation, we discipline it afterwards, and we must be timely, and after a long time, the child may have forgotten, or he will think that you are turning over old accounts.

2. The opening of discipline

Before discipline, let the child's attention be focused on you. Then, let the child understand in a straightforward way that this is a serious discipline. I used to think that I should say something warm before discipline, but through communication with my children, I found that it was easier for children to listen attentively and understand their parents' intentions.

At the same time as the opening, we must find out the truth and truth of what happened, which is not necessarily the same as what our eyes see or hear with our ears, so be sure to ask him. For example, talk to you about things in class today. Mom heard that you stack darts in class and fly over to your classmates, which is very inappropriate. What happened then? Can you tell us about it? At this time, the child said, Mom, the teacher was not in the classroom for a while, and the usually grumbling Classmate Wang was like me provoking and saying sarcastic words to me, I was angry, so I folded the darts and flew to him, I didn't think that at this time the teacher came back, just saw me, and severely criticized me. In this way, parents will find that the child does not deliberately disrupt the order of the classroom as previously understood, and there is a cause in front of him. If we do not restore the truth with the child, and directly reprimand the child with a split head and face cover, the child will not only feel wronged, but also he will not approve of what the parents say.

3. The process of discipline

The process of discipline must dig to the key point, and the key point is the breakthrough point. For example, in the above example, if you ask deeper, the problem found is that Wang is usually sneering at which classmate, and does not specifically target whom, "owing" has become his fault. When their children were doing homework, they could not stand the interference of Wang's classmates, and they were irritable and ridiculed, so they took action. We have no disciplinary qualifications, but our children also have many places that need to be adjusted and improved. So, he and the child continued to talk about his inappropriateness. This situation is that the child has both made mistakes and grievances, and at the same time, it is the worst to discipline. At this time, if the child has a tendency to accept, but is not convinced enough, it is explained from both positive and negative aspects that his different actions will produce very different results. If your child is able to digest information slowly, give him time to digest it.

4. The end of discipline

The end of discipline is mainly divided into two parts, one is demonstration and the other is feedback. The demonstration part is to explain to the child what he is going to do next. How to be a parent is very good at, here is a bit like the previously mentioned pre-judgment, through the pre-judgment to tell the child how to behave correctly in the same situation. The feedback part is to tell the child to discuss the treatment again next time or after a while. This is actually a hint to the child, let him understand that this matter is not like this, and then mom and dad will supervise him and pay attention to whether he corrects it.

The above is the way to discipline, the whole process basically includes going straight to the point, searching for the truth, digging deep into key points, demonstration and feedback.

These are all summaries through the usual observation of children, the level is limited, please do not hesitate to teach.