"Very hard", right or wrong
Is it right or wrong to "work hard" to educate children, to teach children to learn "very hard"?
Have you ever had the experience of sleeping very hard, and the harder you try, the more you can't sleep; you try very hard to get your ex-boyfriend back, the harder you try to get him to run away; you try very hard to convince your husband and children to do what you want, the harder you try, the less they listen to you; you try hard to do something that you are neither good at nor love, and the harder you try, the more you doubt life.
Su Dongpo's last words: "Focus is poor"
Before Su Dongpo died, he left four words: "Concentration is poor", which made people open up.
"When Su Dongpo was dying, Abbot Wei Lin said in his ear: 'Duanming should not forget the West (Duanming Scholar should not forget to go to the Western Elysium World).'" Su Shi said: "The West is not without it, but it is not possible to concentrate on it." (The Western world is not without, but it is not something that can be done with effort.'" Another friend, Qian Jiming, said: "Mr. Gu usually practices to this point, and he must pay more attention (Mr. Gu has been practicing this all his life, and he should make more efforts at this time)." Su Shi said the last words of his life: "Focus is poor." ’”
What is "focus is poor"? ------------------------
A small note to break the child's addiction to play
I used to work hard to break my son's game addiction, control, yell, and even repeatedly grab the phone with my son, which was ineffective in quitting my son's game addiction. Later, I stumbled upon a good book for educating children, which talked about a very simple way to write a note. I wrote a note to my son with only a few words: Don't look at the phone, Mom loves you.
My son was very excited to see the note, because before he used to send me small cards for writing and drawing, but I never wrote to him.
He immediately put the phone aside and seriously wrote a reply below - I will cheer up without looking at the phone, be a good + baby, I love my mother. Since then, my son has developed a distinctly self-control over playing games.
I have been "very hard" for half a year, because a simple trick that can no longer be simple has been easily done, and it is more important to educate children than to work hard.
We are taught to work hard from an early age, and after becoming parents, we also teach our children to work hard, but the truth is that when children do this thing is forced instead of what they want to do, the harder they try, the more painful it will be.
Love is more important than hard work
It's not that effort is not important, but what's more important than effort is love. We should not teach children to study hard, but should teach children to love learning, only love, in order to make learning a joy, not a burden, only love, in order to let children in learning when the "flow", the mind is one, half the effort.
Why are so many children afraid of studying, afraid of exams, and even suffering from school aversion? Why do individual students have serious psychological problems, and even jump off a building to commit suicide. Because they just studied hard for many years under high pressure, instead of learning happily for many years. Too many children's resistance to learning stems from parents always feeling that hard work is more important than happiness.
It is more important to be studious than to study hard
Liu Xiang, a famous literary scholar of the Western Han Dynasty, said: "Few and eager to learn, like the sun of the sunrise; strong and eager to learn, like the light of the sun: old and eager to learn, like the light of the candle." Here's a key word: "eager to learn" – love to learn, not to learn.
We are all familiar with the phrase "study well, every day upwards", and also use a "good" word, rather than "study hard, every day upwards", the difference between the words, the world is different.
Don't "work very hard" to educate children, but to influence children very wisely; don't teach children to learn "very hard", but to guide children to learn happily, so that children can live a free and blooming self, which is more important than the first place in the doorwork.
The essence of education is to inspire and awaken
Some children study very hard under the parents' hard education and even forced, and the parents are eager to accompany them every minute and second, and complain or even reprimand them as soon as the test scores decline. Individual children will be under such high pressure, sluggish eyes, no smile, do not fit in, do not like to share, and even have nothing to say to their parents. Such a child is not enviable even if he is at the top of his grades.
At the same time, we have also seen a lot of students with excellent comprehensive quality, IQ and emotional intelligence and anti-quotient all-round development, healthy minds, positive optimism, and helping others. Such children may not be closely supervised by parents, and parents do not work very hard and deliberately to educate their children, but lead by example everywhere, create a good family atmosphere, and give children a positive impact bit by bit. Moreover, these children do not learn very hard and hard, but learn very happily, very engaged, and even learn to sleep and forget to eat in the subjects they like.
A truly good education is silent, effortless, and lightweight. Truly effective learning is obsessed because of love; enjoyment because of happiness; and excitement, so enjoy it.
What the child wants, everything is not a problem, what the child does not want, what the parents impose on him, everything is a problem. The essence of education is to inspire and awaken, and fully stimulate children's initiative, enthusiasm and initiative. Planting a dream seed in a child's heart is far more helpful than "tying up the branches" when he is thriving.
Planting a dream seed in the child's heart is to make the child aspire from an early age. It was more important for him to understand why he was reading than to teach him how to read.
Why read? "Reading for the Rise of China" is by far the most shocking answer I have ever heard.
Plant the right seeds and wait for the flowers to bloom
The implementation of the Family Education Promotion Law and the implementation of the double reduction policy are telling us: it is more important to make children determined than to make children obedient; moral education is more important than subject education; quality education is more important than intellectual education; happy learning is more important than hard work!
So stop educating your child "very hard" and learn "very hard." Be ourselves, help children find the ambition of life, find a reason to fall in love with learning, plant the right seeds, wait for the flowers to bloom, wait for the joy of life to bloom.
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