Whether dealing with interpersonal relationships or dealing with gender relations, a person's character is always the fundamental decision to determine whether we continue to have deep friendships.
Because we know the face and do not know the heart, and get along with people with good character, we will not worry about the sincerity of our own efforts being disappointed, and get along with people with bad character, even if we pay more, it is useless, because the other party is likely to start to take revenge because we do something unsatisfactory.
Therefore, when dealing with interpersonal relationships, especially gender relations, we need to see a person's character more clearly.
Psychological research has shown that it is enough to see a man clearly, without temptation, and to talk to him for a few days.
Men who don't respect women are simply unreliable
I remember when I was in school, there was a roommate who liked a school brother, every day booed cold and warm, sent gifts, the other party was drunk and let her go to pick up, but did not agree to her confession, clear-eyed people know that this is hanging her, even we roommates have advised her many times, but the roommates just don't listen, the name is "it is difficult to buy me happy for thousands of dollars".
Later, the roommate did not chase the student, the student also felt very confused, but began to take the initiative to find the roommate, but the roommate deleted his WeChat in front of him, and told him not to bother himself in the future.
We asked why, and the roommate said that once she saw her brother commenting on the buttocks of african female students in the school, and the obscene look made the roommate suddenly think how the person he liked was so disgusting and unbearable.
So she instantly withdrew her liking, because a person who does not respect women, even if they are really together, is just a fruitless ending.
The English playwright Ben Johnson once said, "Language is the most revealing to a person, and as long as you speak, I can understand you." ”
A man's character is the cultivation he has carved into his bones, even if it is not visible on the surface, but it can also be reflected by his opening words.
A man who does not respect women is missing a sense of value, and even if such a man determines a romantic relationship, he will expose his ugly face.
Men who belittle their predecessors are doomed to be unreliable
TV series "Know it or not. Gu Tingye in "Know It or Not" had an outer chamber called Manniang before he married Sheng Minglan, at that time, Gu Tingye rebelled and thought that Manniang was the one who could make himself dependent, so even if everyone felt that Manniang was suspicious, Gu Tingye still wanted to give Manniang a name with an iron heart.
As a result, Manniang never really treated Gu Tingye, and when she learned that Gu Tingye might lose the identity of Hou Ye, she immediately sold the valuable things in the seller and prepared to run, and after being recognized by Gu Tingye, she left with the sons of two people overnight, it can be said that the harm that Manniang brought to Gu Tingye was obvious to all.
However, after being with Sheng Minglan, Gu Tingye never said a bad word about Manniang, because in his opinion, although Manniang was not good, after all, she had been with herself, and there was no merit and hard work.
In real life, how many men denigrate their exs after breaking up, saying that the other party is material, that is, they abandon themselves when they have no money, and they attribute the reasons for the breakup to one person, and then they stay out of the matter.
Tu Lei once said: "In reality, there are two kinds of men, the first is that he especially does not like women to talk about money with himself, and the second is that he will take the initiative to talk to women about money, and he feels that it is a man's responsibility to let his wife live a good life." ”
It's just a pity that the men who denigrate the ex are never worthy of our consideration as the other half, because the character of the man who breaks up and denigrates the ex is how good can the character be?
A man who knows how to listen and is gentle and elegant can stand up to scrutiny
When Guan Juer and his blind date in the TV series "Ode to Joy" were eating together, the other party had been bragging about his experience of studying abroad at the dinner table, saying that he was proficient in the collocation of Western food and did not give Guan Juer a chance to express himself from beginning to end.
After eating, Guan Ju'er politely said that the two people were not suitable, because the chat was never one-sided, there was talking, but also listening.
An open-minded man who pays attention to listening when expressing his own opinions, rather than just focusing on himself and not considering the feelings of others, such a man is undoubtedly selfish.
So, what kind of men should we look for?
We should find those who know how to respect others, know how to listen, gentle and elegant, such men are calm, they have the elegance carved in their bones, and with such men, we will also achieve happiness to a large extent.
Of course, a relationship only rely on language is far from enough, Zhu Guangqian once said: love is beautiful in wordless, love can only rely on understanding, in the end, language can not be broken. ”
Language can be used as a tool for us to understand a person, but not all, and the key to truly judging whether a man is reliable depends on his own understanding.