Author | Su Shan Shu
Source | Read at ten o'clock
ID | duhaoshu
Liu Xuezhou, a 15-year-old boy looking for relatives, left.
At 00:02 on January 23, he left a suicide note on the Internet, writing: "Born light, but also clean.
Yesterday morning, Liu Xuezhou was found to have taken dozens of antidepressant pills in Sanya and died after ineffective rescue.
He's gone.
In just 15 years, he has suffered from human suffering, his family affection is cold, and the world is indifferent.
After reading his story, I was shocked, angry, sad... Beyond words, I was amazed that he had experienced so many great mourning in his short life.
Ten O'Clock Jun wrote down his story so that more people could get care, reflection and vigilance from it.
Life
The boy's name is Liu Xuezhou.
In his suicide note, he described himself like this:
Looking for relatives boys, fake laughing boys, strong boys.
Swipe up to read
This year is 15 years old, still underage, studying in a junior college, and usually working part-time to support himself.
What did he go through, a trip in his life, why did he go alone?
Then his suicide note reads:
The days before he was four years old could not remember clearly, he only remembered a change in the year when he was four years old.
My parents used to run a fireworks workshop, and on the night before the accident, my grandmother came to their house.
As if with a premonition, he cried and went with his grandmother.
Climbed onto Grandma's tram, clutched the basket, unwilling to come down, and clamored to go to Grandma's house for one night.
His parents kept coaxing him out of the car, saying that they wanted to buy him a big chicken leg, but they did not impress the child, and he grabbed his grandmother's hand and did not let go.
In the end, his parents had no choice but to follow his wishes.
Grandma's house was some distance away from their house, but early the next morning, he still heard a loud noise.
Then, Grandma put him in the neighbor's house and hurriedly rode away in an electric car.
At that time, he did not know what was happening, and the adults around him came and went, but he never saw his parents to pick him up.
A few days later, his aunt took him to the hospital room, and although his aunt covered his eyes, he saw his mother with severe burns all over her body.
I didn't see my dad, and I learned later that my dad had died in the explosion.
When I see my mother again, it is in my own home, and I can't even call it a "home".
The whole house had been blown to smithereens, leaving one half-blown house.
Mom was lying here covered in blood, and by then she had decided to give up treatment, and he took his favorite drink to give to Mom, and Mom said to him, "You study hard, listen to Grandma and Grandpa, and wait for Mom to buy you good food." ”
After that, I never saw my mother again.
He became an orphan, living and going to school with his grandfather and grandmother.
The law of the jungle between children is to bully the person who is the best bully, and he becomes that person.
Without the care of his parents, he became the target of bullying: grabbing stationery, pushing him into the toilet, and framing him;
The teacher at the school didn't ask, believing it was his fault;
The staff of the restaurant distributed eggs to everyone in the school, except for him;
Despite this, he is also studying hard, trying to be excellent, trying to shine.
There is a whole wall of award certificates and award certificates in the home.
In these dark days, the only light was my aunt.
His aunt loved him very much, and he treated him like a biological mother.
But heaven seems to want to warm this little bit, and take away a little bit of love.
His aunt died because of the breakdown of his marriage, and the only person in the world who loved him left.
Growing up bullying accompanied him into junior high school, endured, suffered, and he began to become strong.
It wasn't until junior high school that he met a perverted male teacher who called him into his dormitory, and the man drank a lot of wine and did things that hurt him.
This time it hurt him fiercely, and he had a hard time re-establishing his confidence in life, so he fell to the bottom again.
He climbed to the top of the dormitory, thought about it all night, and finally decided to solve a mystery in his heart.
Family search
The villagers have always been rumored that he is a child bought by his parents.
Perhaps because of the death of his parents and his isolation, he must have thought that if he really said that his parents bought it like the villagers said, then his biological parents must be someone else, then they may still live in this world.
Once he thought so, he couldn't help but ask his grandmother for verification, and she didn't hide it and told the truth.
He really wasn't Mom and Dad's child, they were just adoptive parents.
As a child's instinct, some wishes were born in his heart:
He wanted to know what his biological parents looked like, and whether he had been stolen or lost, with a hint of hatred.
If it wasn't for his biological parents, he wouldn't have suffered all the things that happened to him at this age.
When he saw the scene of Sun Haiyang finding his son, the parents and children, the blood thicker than the water of the family affection, it was even more determined that he wanted to find relatives.
First, he registered the information at the baby's home, and then went to the public security bureau to enter the blood bank, but there has been no news.
By chance, he heard his grandmother call and mentioned his vaccine book, and his heart was cold, which made him even more determined that he was being sold;
He entered the name "Ding Jing" in the vaccine book into the "Baby Home" website, and there was no news that his parents were not looking for him;
He also searched the father's name "Ding Shuangquan" in the vaccine book on the whole network, and got a business license with the same name as his father, following the phone left on the license and adding WeChat.
When he saw the WeChat avatar, his intuition told him that this was his biological father.
The world knows that it is difficult to find relatives, and it is difficult to go to the blue sky;
Can't believe he found his father so easily;
The child dialed the phone and asked the man on the other side of the phone a question: More than ten years ago, did you lose a child named "Ding Jing"?
The man kept repeating "no", "no"...
Ten minutes later, the man called and told him what had happened that year, they had found a new family for the child out of desperation, did not receive money, and the biological parents had their own families and lives.
Plus the day after his biological father, his birth mother also added his WeChat.
They were gentle and spoke in unison about the helplessness of the year and the indifferent concern they gave him.
There will be a moment in his life when he thinks he is going to be reunited with his biological parents;
I once thought that his world was about to clear the clouds and see the light of day again.
Burst
After explaining the doubts of that year, the birth father and birth mother had less contact with him.
They are very busy, sometimes call them, they are busy can not get;
Sometimes they call and he's busy and doesn't get it;
The current situation is that the biological parents have their own families, each busy, and there is no time to take care of him.
But in a very casual conversation, his biological father confided in him a message that made him explode.
When they were unmarried and pregnant, they gave birth to him, and his birth mother's family forced him to ask for a bride price, and he really had no way, so he sold him, and the money he got gave to his biological grandfather, and then married his mother.
Hearing this news was enough for him to be dizzy and his mind exploded.
On the surface he appeared calm, but inside he actually turned the river upside down.
The mother did not know that he already knew the truth of the year, and invited her to her brother's birthday.
He smiled bitterly inside, growing up, he had only had two birthdays, once at home and once at school.
His birthday was written on his ID card on September 28, when in fact his birthday was April 12.
Such a real life is like a fright.
Sometimes, when people don't know the truth, they are still more able to live.
Knowing what things were, I couldn't be at peace for the rest of my life.
As a child, one of the most unacceptable cruel truths is that parents do not love themselves, abandon themselves, and sell themselves.
Although I was in touch with my biological parents, I didn't get more affection.
When he went to look for his biological father, his father gave him a house outside;
When he went to look for his birth mother, he and his little brother were huddled in the room, and the next day his sister called back to accuse his mother of not letting him into the house.
He was a sensitive boy who heard that others were not welcoming him and he wanted to leave the place immediately.
Making an excuse to leave his birth mother's house, he went back to Shijiazhuang, where he was at the station, but he didn't know where to go.
The school was already closed, and he couldn't go to the dormitory; he went to look for relatives and hurt his grandmother's house, and he couldn't go back; he had to call his aunt, who asked him to come and live.
That night, he called his mother and made a plea:
He wanted a home, or a place to live.
But when her mother heard this, she immediately got angry and said that she was forcing her, and after yelling on the phone for half a day, she blocked him.
He had to call his biological father and tell him the content of the phone call with his mother, as long as there is a place to live, buy or rent, no longer no place to live.
But when his father heard this, he immediately turned his face and scolded him for being a white-eyed wolf.
He could have sued his biological father and mother, but then he thought that he still had younger siblings, so he gave up this choice.
This time, he really decided he was going to live his life.
But one day when he got up to go online, his eyes went black.
It turned out that his parents went to the media to reverse black and white and frame right and wrong, so netizens rushed to insult him, slander him, and slander him.
After enduring online violence for too long, this road is really hard and desperate.
He had thought that his life was about to see the light, and all of a sudden, the light was all gone.
He finally couldn't bear everything, had no nostalgia for the world, and decided to leave.
After reading the suicide note, I was very heartbroken.
In a short life, he has not hurt anyone, and he has tried to live a good life, but why is this the result?
Blogger @surname Joe said he was very apt:
"Everything that happens to him is enough for an ordinary person to choose despair." But again and again, he chose to keep hope in the middle of despair and hope. Every time the abyss pulled him, he stared into the abyss, ignored the abyss, fled the abyss and was pushed into the abyss. ”
Born one, there is no trust; short fifteen, drifting zero misery.
He was really tired, desperate, and wanted to leave.
After reading his life's confession, he could have rewritten his life.
The explosion did not kill him; he desperately escaped from the bullying later; in the depression of being sexually assaulted by the perverted teacher, he survived; and finally in the secondary injury of his biological parents, in the network violence of unknown netizens, he left in despair.
Writing this, what kind of reflection can this tragedy leave us:
First: parenthood;
Don't be prepared, don't bring your child into this world;
We always think that parents give children life, children should be grateful to their parents, in fact, parents do not have consent, bring children to this world, it is the children who enrich the second half of the parents' boring life, parents actually have to thank the children.
Giant baby adults, it is best not to become parents.
Liu Xuezhou's parents, after giving birth to him, sold him, used the money to marry his mother, and are no longer worthy of parenting;
Fifteen years later, children have nowhere to go, they seek shelter, they blame each other, and no one is willing to admit mistakes and take responsibility;
Since you have decided to have a child, please be responsible for him, which is the most basic meaning of parenthood.
Second: as a worldly person;
I do not know the whole picture and will not comment.
You have not experienced other people's lives, feel the pain of others, please do not easily evaluate;
Keep your mouth shut and don't make evil words easily.
If you let you experience someone else's life, you may not be as sunny, kind, and strong as he is.
He was really kind and, at the end of his life, used all he had to help others, passing on his last kindness to the world:
50% of the savings in the account are earned by their own work and left to their grandmothers; the remaining 50% are donated by netizens to the "Shijiazhuang Orphanage" to buy them some beautiful clothes and delicious food. ”
At the end of the suicide note, he said as easily as he was relieved:
"By the time you read this letter, I should have lived a happy and happy life, a very good life, and grown up in the arms of my parents and mothers."
"The sun shines on the sea, and I return to the sea."
As netizens said:
This life has been hard; next time, I wish happiness.
Click "watching", if there is an afterlife, I hope that his relatives will love him, his friends will love and protect him, and there will be no disease or disaster.
Don't have ups and downs, just seek stability and stability.
Living the life of an ordinary person, it should be a very good life.
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