Children are the best gifts brought by heaven to parents, each child is a unique little angel in the world, what parents have to do is to take care of him to grow better, give him deep tolerance and understanding, and let him thrive into a towering tree.
The following content is what I have sorted out about the matters to pay attention to and how to deal with raising children, hoping to help more parents and friends.
01.
Pay more attention to your child's inner feelings
In life, many parents may arbitrarily judge their children according to the facts, rather than paying attention to their children's inner emotions and feelings.
For example, parents pay too much attention to their children's achievements, often suppressing and denying his efforts; children do something wrong, and parents beat him up angrily.
This seems to show the authority of the parents, so that the child becomes obedient, but the harm to the child is also irreversible.
Verbal injuries, like a bloodless knife that kills people, often end up with trauma to the child's heart.
Every child has thoughts and emotions, and he needs to be seen, supported, and encouraged.
In life, less accusation and criticism, more love and understanding, is the greatest love for children.
When the problem occurs:
First, pay attention to the child's own feelings and emotions;
Second, ask the child about his or her own expectations and thoughts;
Third, ask your child what he needs to do on his own.
02.
Let the child make his own choices
For what the child wants to do, parents should not decide independently, but should seek the child's own opinion, do not deny his ideas, and explain the consequences of this choice, so that he is responsible.
When disagreeing with children, do not be a judge, let the children learn to solve problems on their own, and give the right to solve the problem to the children.
A truly wise parent will not do everything for his child, but will let the child grow on his own.
Helping children develop the ability to choose and bear the corresponding results will also make his future life path smoother.
At all times, the child is regarded as an independent individual, and respect, trust and belief in him are the best nourishment for the child's growth.
03.
Know how to appreciate the child's strengths and encourage him more
In real life, many parents will use scores to define whether a child will have a future appearance.
In fact, good grades do not mean that children will learn, but it means that he is better at test-taking education, nor does it mean that children have enthusiasm and exploration.
In addition to learning, children have many good qualities, such as being kind, compassionate, having the ability to solve problems, and having the courage to explore.
Usually, know how to appreciate your child, see the shining points in your child, and encourage him to do what he wants to do.
Children who do not receive love in the family will grow up to be very inferior and feel that they are not worthy of love.
The intrinsic drive of a child's learning should be to explore new worlds and learn more knowledge, not utilitarian goals, in order to get good grades on the test, or to achieve a successful life.
04.
Find the real reason behind addicted phones
The child is addicted to the mobile phone, parents should not blindly force him to order, but to find out the reason behind the child.
After communicating and discussing with the child, ask himself how to solve it and implement a solution.
Three ways to deal with your child's playing with their phones:
1. Make emotional connections
First of all, the reason for finding a child's addiction to mobile phones may be due to the long-term neglect of parents, some needs in his heart have not been met, and immersion in the game can satisfy a certain sense of accomplishment.
Second, build a deep connection with your child, talk less and listen more, and listen to the real needs of his heart.
2. Provide nutritious meals and explore things of interest with your child
3. Establish a family pact
Make a list of rules, list the use of mobile phones, clarify the time period of mobile phone use, and write down the consequences of violating the rules.
How to use your phone wisely?
1. Talk to your child about when the phone can be used and how much time can it be used? What is it used for? What should I do when I don't use it?
2. Establish rules for children, do not put mobile phones around when learning, discuss with children, reach consensus, and do practical follow-up management, ask children what kind of help they need to seek.
3. When you see your child violating the law, do a proper reminder, do not blame too much, and let the child be responsible for his own behavior.
4. Set up a flexible rule system, not too strict, set up a reward mechanism, can be in line with the child's expectations of the reward.
05.
Spend more time with your child
How to cultivate the habit of reading in children?
Reading is a good habit for children to benefit for life, and a child with reading habits will not be worse in the future.
Parents should not force their children to read the designated books, but choose the books they like according to their own interests.
Let children fall in love with reading, the best way is that parents themselves also like to read, family education is the best example of a child's growth.
06.
What if the child is always angry and rebellious?
Children's emotions generally do not get more attention from adults, and their inner needs are not met.
Rebellion means that the child does not want to be treated as a child, and parents should treat him as an adult and respect him.
Behind a child who always lies must have a strict parent because he is afraid of blame and criticism.
Children generally do not want their parents to have too many restrictions and controls on themselves, and want to have their own right to control life.
The most important thing for parents is not to confront their children, but to respond gently and firmly.
Children should talk back and deal with two situations:
The first is to allow you to defend your rights;
The second is not allowing you to speak with disrespect to your elders.
The child is an independent individual, he has the right to express his own thoughts, opinions and opinions; but at the same time, he must also know how to respect his elders and not be arrogant.
07.
Give adolescent children enough respect and understanding
Adolescent children pay more attention to privacy, requiring independent and quiet spaces to digest some things.
Parents should give them enough trust, respect and love to build an emotional connection with him.
Don't interfere too much in their private lives, give them a space for independence, and use a more deliberative tone than accusations and commands.
When the child is in a bad mood, hold the child, give comfort, and let him say the truest feelings in his heart.
08.
Cultivate children's sense of self-worth
The real misfortune of human beings is due to the lack of self-worth, which comes from the family.
Let the child feel loved, feel that he is worthy of being loved, and that he is a person who is valuable to society.
09.
Don't "label" your child
When children procrastinate, rub and other behaviors, do not rush to label them lazy, to understand what is the real appeal behind their behavior?
Treat your child's procrastination, don't be overly pushy, but help him set up a daily planning table, determine learning goals, things to do, and time schedule.
Finally, follow up with the child's review, reduce nagging, and give the child a proper sense of accomplishment and ritual.
10.
How to be a parent who does not yell?
First of all, parents should learn to be self-aware, be aware of their bad emotions, turn their minds to imagination, and focus on other things.
Second, when you and your child are emotional, deal with your emotions first, and then deal with things.
Finally, experience understanding the child's emotions, communicate with him, and resolve conflicts and contradictions.
If you want your child to change a bad habit, you may want to communicate with your child as follows:
The first step is to interview first
Talk to your child in advance about a specific time and place.
The second step is to praise the child and not be hostile
When talking specifically, we should first praise the child's advantages, so that the child feels good and is willing to continue the conversation.
The third step is to tell the facts, not judge
State the facts you see without subjective assumptions.
The fourth step is to say expect a change
Don't be vague about the specifics, so that the child can understand.
Finally, describe the child's feelings and clarify their true inner thoughts.
11.
How to raise children who do not have inferiority?
Low self-esteem is something that everyone has, and it's a need to make themselves better.
Parents should not often compare their children with other children, but should give their children more encouragement and support in time, let him be himself, and let him grow up according to his own rhythm.
When a child's spiritual nutrition is not nourished, it will produce inferiority.
Spiritual nutrition is one is love, and the other is a sense of value.
Love is unconditional encouragement and appreciation, and a sense of value is the ability to bring value and meaning to society and others.
Usually, give the child enough love and affirmation to let him do what he can for the family, and then produce a sense of need and satisfaction.
In life, children can also be encouraged to provide some help to others as much as possible, dedicate themselves, and find a sense of value that belongs to their own existence.
End.
About the author: Xiao Yan'er, a literary and artistic young woman who is mixed in the workplace, loves to read, loves to grow, and is a person with a heart for life.