There is a new word on the Internet called "straight male cancer", this label, in addition to a little bit of machismo, but also contains a kind of contempt or ridicule, to put it bluntly, it does not understand women, nor do they know how to respect women, some people are contemptuous, some people are because they do not understand the style, but if it is the latter, there is no attack on women, but with the increase of age has not been able to understand women, then it is difficult not to be labeled "straight male cancer", and it is even difficult to get rid of singleness.
Few men can interpret women's complaints properly
Behind the woman's complaints, it is not entirely blame or pure pain, but contains an appeal. I hope that the voice of the string makes you take the initiative to give, sometimes just hope to be comforted and understood, but do not say it directly. Women belong to curved thinking, so that many men can't read their purposefulness, and even think that women just like to keep thinking about it.
So when a man listens to a woman complaining, you have to hear and understand what the subtext behind her is, don't be absent-minded, don't be careless, or directly give him an answer that you think is right, but you can't feel the understanding and attention of women's needs, and you can't achieve the resonance needs of inner feelings.
This is one of the reasons why men and women often contradict each other, men often pay attention to logic and results, while women attach importance to emotional interaction experience and feelings, women care about men's attitudes, and men often interpret women asking for an answer.
Therefore, most of the male communication is a very specific and detailed in-depth exchange on a certain matter and a topic, and then the communication comes to a certain conclusion, which ends quickly in the most convenient and direct way.
But women are different, their thinking is very sensitive, and jumping, interactive chat is mostly through the process of chatting, to first vent their emotions, sometimes chat for a day without a clear result, but some people say it, but it will be very pleasant after spitting. Most men do not understand this, in fact, women's needs are to vent their inner dissatisfaction and sorrow through the channel of "speaking".
Perhaps this is related to the inherent genes of the ancestors, who in ancient times were responsible for hunting and women were responsible for the logistics of gathering and education. Hunting to obtain food is dangerous in the face of the environment, you need to concentrate, and every step must be precise and fast to ensure the safety of your life.
So most of their goals are very precise, and then take it back to their tribe to eat, to ensure the safety and survival of women and children. For the time being, we will not go to the bottom of the matter, whether such a legend has a basis, but it is true that there will be such genes in the bones of men, they pay attention to logic, pay attention to results, and talk about heroes based on the results of success or failure.
But the women in charge of the collection logistics are completely different, their environment is relatively safe and stable, and the repetitive work will be very boring, so they will use the collection to pass the time. The work at hand can have nothing to do with the topic, can have nothing to do with the work, and pull things around is a pastime to pass the time.
In real life, we are not like this, women's suffering and men's tiredness are completely different, we can not understand each other's difficulties and grievances, men only see their own fatigue when they charge into the battle, but do not realize the strength and sacrifice of women in the support behind. Therefore, to think differently and understand the needs of the other party will make that person more respectful and care about you, and is willing to give you the assistance behind it.
A male colleague met Xi Yan on a blind date, although he was introduced to him, but the man can be described as love at first sight, the two families are similar, and the girl is not a princess at all very independent and capable, and the appearance is also good.
Male colleagues fell in love at first sight, but because of their natural wooden incomprehension, many things were not done right during contact with the girl's mind, and the other girl quickly and decisively said that they were not suitable for each other. But men don't want to give up on this, constantly fighting for opportunities, saying "I was wrong, I know where the mistake is, I shouldn't be stingy." I shouldn't let you drive home alone at night, I should take the initiative to send you, I should take the initiative to check out... Count your shortcomings one by one, work hard for a long time, and finally ask the girl "what are you going to do tomorrow, I really want to see you" Finally the girl said to go to see the customer, and the man quickly replied "I accompany you, I help you block the wine, I send you home" Nagging for a long time and constantly fighting, the girl finally said "feel free" and then each goodnight.
But the next day completely formatted yesterday's message, a day without interaction, until the evening sent a sentence "what are you doing" completely frustrated with yesterday's request and interactive content.
Women will take a man's every word to heart and then wait to fulfill the promise, but whenever she replies ambiguously, it is actually a kind of disguised test and test. Just like the above case, men give up macho to redeem themselves, until the final sincere attitude makes women say "feel free" This casual is not that you don't go, or disagree, but wait to examine whether your behavior can achieve their own satisfaction.
A thing that has been almost fixed can be completely frustrated, and the man thinks that he may not be embarrassed or cannot continue to harass too abruptly, but in the case of the woman at the moment, what can be thought of is that you are too picky, or that you are being teased as a Sunday.
And how will the smart man reply to it, the simplest, at least will continue to do their own results "Today you are not accompanying customers, booking a restaurant, do you need to bring your own drinks, set a few points, I will pick you up about what time can you?"
This is the correct chat opening mode, in other words, even if the woman still refuses this time, she does not need you to accompany her, but the inner score will increase. Sometimes a woman's chances are really not as rigid as signing a letter of guarantee, but hidden in the message, waiting to see your actions. Can't read women's casual, don't know women's complaints, sometimes it is likely to continue to be single and difficult to find their own fate and true love.
So men should not only focus on the results, because if they want to have good results, they must do a good job in every detail of the moment, because women are through the details in front of them to determine the future.
Simply put, there is no present, there will be no future, so the so-called rationality has become a joke, so the man's unconcerned and dashing state can actually be avoided, because in the female world, she will feel frivolous and unreliable, or not caring enough about herself.
Just like a woman cares about whether a man takes the initiative to consume, it is not that she wants to take advantage, but hopes to identify her position in the man's mind through the process of man's consumption, and also to see if the man has a certain ability to survive and economically, or to say which level will be reached in the future.
Including in the event of a conflict, a woman will pay attention to how the man resolves it, or how to take the initiative to ease the relationship with herself, not her princess disease, but the woman should see through skirmishes to see if the man has the ability to handle the crisis between intimate relationships.
After all, couples can't have a smooth ride every day, and once something goes wrong, if they only try to make themselves one-sided, then she may give up the relationship. Those who can handle it well before marriage may not be sustainable after marriage, not to mention that it is only love at the moment, or the pursuit stage, you can't do it, then the probability of disharmony in the future will be greater, and the problems will be more. Therefore, if men want to get happiness and quickly get off the list, they first put more energy into the present moment between contacts, rather than blindly going straight to the result.