The netizen letter said:
I'm 37 years old, my husband is 3 years older than me, and we both have relatively stable jobs. We currently have a house in our name, no mortgage, and a car of more than 100,000 yuan, and no loan. Although we don't have much savings in our hands, our work belongs to the kind of drought and flood protection, and our children are sensible, have good academic performance, and my relationship with my in-laws is also very good, so more often than not, I will feel that my life and my husband and I are quite happy.
Half a year ago, after we moved into a 23-year-old girl at the door, the harmony between me and my husband was completely broken (the girl was in a rental house). It comes from the fact that when my husband is fine, he always likes to visit each other's houses, and even carries fruits and vegetables from our house to each other. The husband's explanation for this is that distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors. What I can be sure of is that the other party only treats my husband as a big brother, but the husband has a covetous heart for the other party; the other party is absolutely not aggressive with my husband at present.
I have argued with my husband many times about this matter, but my husband's attitude on this matter is always: don't impose your own ideas on others. In this case, since I could not prevent my husband from visiting the neighbor's house frequently, I simply joined my husband every time he went to the neighbor's house. Although my husband is sometimes very impatient with me for doing things like farts, he can't give me a refusal. As a result, the husband now visits the neighbor's house less often.
Although I guaranteed the integrity of the marriage in this way, I was not happy at all. After all, the husband's desire to cheat is there. Sometimes I feel that this strict care of my husband will make me tired, and even think about her husband's free-range, and feel that in the free-range state, once I catch evidence of his cheating, we will divorce. But is divorce really the best option? After all, I am a traditional woman, I love our children after all, and I have always felt that I am a good match with my husband, the key is that our lives are envied by many people around us. It's just, how come the husband doesn't know how to cherish it?
Muzi Li emotional analysis:
Men and women are actually creatures with differences. In the field of feelings, men are more likely to like the new and dislike the old. Before marriage, men will regard love as the most important thing in life, so that men during love will stage heavy colors and light friends. However, men, after marriage, will see work as the most important thing in their lives. Especially after becoming a father, I feel that making more money is my goal. During this time, men will be indifferent to feelings and add some elements of responsibility and obligation. Especially with the lover for a long time, the more there will be a manifestation of aesthetic fatigue, at this time, men are easy to get involved in extramarital affairs.
Speaking of women, women will show arrogance and conservatism in front of men when they are in love, and during the period, parents and girlfriends will be in front of their boyfriends. However, after the woman gets married, she will immediately stage a heavy color and light friend, at this time, the husband is the whole of her emotional world, during the period, even want to get some benefits from her parents for her new home, as for the meal organized by the girlfriend, she will also give a selective rejection rationally. The point is that in married life, as long as the man can guarantee the loyalty to the marriage, and take care of the woman's feelings, the earning power is also justified, then the woman will give the man a dead heart in the relationship.
It indicates that in a relationship, the man's love will become more and more flat, and the woman's love will become more and more dependent. When women begin to feel insecure in the relationship, the changes women give to running a marriage tend to manifest themselves in two ways: 1) begin to control a man's income; and 2) become more and more aggressive in front of men. In fact, women do this only to form the effect of making men listen to themselves. A man who can give women a sense of security, women are often willing to give trust, dependence, and gentleness in front of him. So, the thing men need to understand is that women's frequent crushing of you is caused by the fact that you don't give women a sense of security in many situations.
Since men are prone to emotional desertion in the process of marriage, then, when they find that men have some misdeeds, they need to nip their ideas in the bud. It means that when women find that there is something wrong with men's daily behavior, they need to strengthen their prevention against men. Here's something to be clear about: Men are the kind that needs to be tapped from time to time. After all, they don't have any idea of divorce, but they are still a bit stupid about extramarital affairs. As long as your sense of prevention is strengthened, men will also stop.
Men are not suitable for stocking at all, so when he develops his career, he can be left to the sky, but at the level of family life, women must become the one who counts, and at the right time, give some indulgence to men, so that men are not so arrogant at the level of private life.
In fact, your husband, like many men, will have some bad thoughts, and once he gives timely correction, he can be honest for a while.
You also said that you will feel that you and your husband are a good match and very happy, then you need to give your husband a beating from time to time. It's like when you were growing up, your parents and teachers beat you up.
Relatively speaking, men have stronger self-control at the career level than women, but at the emotional level, women's self-control is often stronger than men's. Therefore, women need to be more defensive about men in the emotional field. In fact, there is no need to specifically prevent it. After all, you already know the other person's daily habits well, as long as he has a slight abnormal performance, you will be aware of it. Once you find out that something is wrong with him, you only need to give him a follow-up or a wave of video chat with him at the point you suspect, which can serve as a warning. Try this a few times, and he will be honest. Tips: Don't be too sensitive, just like don't give the other party a job check when you work, that will only make the other party sick to you.
Editor's Note:
Men like to drink and play games, women like to eat and shop. Although many times, men and women will have a lot of things in life that do not intersect, but the opposite sex attraction makes a couple of men and women love each other after marriage and accompany each other through a long life. There will be quarrels and misunderstandings during this period, but as long as there are no major errors of principle and maintain a white head and old age, I think it is not a big problem.
In fact, in life, I am not afraid of making mistakes, I am afraid that when you correct them, the other party does not feel that what you are doing is wrong, or that what you do is wrong but you do not change it. To this end, in the process of running a marriage, we must accept the imperfection of the lover at some levels, and when some of the lover's behaviors are errors of principle, we must give a timely beating to help him nip greed in the bud.
(Picture from the network, graphics and text have nothing to do)