What the child says doesn't listen to? You can try this trick

A few days ago, I saw a soul torture on the Internet and asked: When children do not live and learn the way we expect, do you get anxious?

At the time I swore to vote "no." Unexpectedly, only a few days later, I instantly punched my face.

I found that there was no way I could not interfere with the child, as follows:

1, my daughter is almost 4 years old, take her out to meet relatives and friends, ask her to greet adults, never open her mouth, leaving me alone in the same place embarrassed;

2, friends brought 2-year-old sons to my house as a guest, the child is curious, want to see a deck of playing cards in my living room, I just want to pick it up and give it to him, my daughter cried, and my friend quickly returned the playing cards to my daughter. I know that she doesn't like this at all, usually I don't even look at it, I let her play the playing cards to her brother for a while, don't listen to how to say it, and go directly back to the house to hide;

3, in the evening free, grandparents will send a video, want to see the granddaughter. As a result, the girl left every time she showed her face, or I forced her to come over, and let her talk more than two times, and then refused to open her mouth.

The elders in the family will also say that you don't teach her, which is too rude. After a few things, I also fell into doubt and reflection. So I dragged my dad and planned to have an in-depth exchange: is it that our children are really rude and don't know how to share. Hopefully, he can provide some new ideas for parenting.

Baba really had his own tricks, he said indifferently: "Aren't all children like this?" If you don't want to give, don't give it, just grow up. ”

This time, not only was I anxious because of the child, but I was angry with him again: "I don't care if I can do it?" How she grows up with others, you think they are as careless as you. ”

"How do you know that she will be like this in the future, you just manage too much."

This sentence completely infuriated me, and finally from the child's problem, to the point that he did not wash the dishes in the sink immediately after eating, and took off the dirty socks, he knew that he was holding... When the argument was over, he made a suggestion, and I ignored his ramblings and saw what would happen in a week's time.

I said yes.

The other day, when dirty clothes and socks were piled up together, I wanted to say, but held back and turned to doing my own thing. Seeing the dishes soaked in dirty water, there was no squeak, and I wanted to see what you would do tomorrow morning for dinner.

As a result, after watching TV, people washed the dishes before going to bed; the clothes and socks they saved were also washed after 3 or 4 days. I suddenly found that the house was not so dirty that it was "incurable", but there were many fewer quarrels, and the gas was also much smoother that week.

I seem to understand something, in intimate relationships, sometimes I impose my expectations too much on others.

And what completely changed me was this one thing:

Last weekend I went shopping for clothes and talked to the boss, whose son is now in the second grade and doesn't want to write homework one day. The child's father said, I don't want to write, I have to explain to the teacher, I wrote to you in the homework book "xx today because xx reasons do not want to write homework", tomorrow you explain to the teacher, play and go. As a result, after dinner, the child erased the words written by his father and took the initiative to finish his homework.

I listened to the real head sting and opened a window. Taking a baby is really learning everywhere, learning everywhere.

Later, I talked to my daughter about why I didn't want to video with my grandparents. She said she didn't like videos, and I understood that because I didn't like videos very much either. But I still told her that my grandparents missed you, and you said hello to them, said you didn't want the video, and we would take time to go back to see them on the weekend. I didn't force her, and as a result, last night's video actually talked to Grandma for a long time.

So I opened up new ideas.

I used to think she lacked active learning, and i bought her a lot of picture books, which were very educational. I was expecting her to come to me after reading it, but I turned over and looked at the picture books of my childhood. I wanted to take her to see it with me, but I put it back, so I put the book in the shelf and decided to go with the flow.

What lit up my eye was that once she actually flipped through a new book herself, and I didn't force it. I think maybe it should be so, reading is as natural as eating, eating tired of naturally wanting to change the taste, but if someone forces you to try something new, it is not so delicious.

In fact, the wisdom of parenting sometimes needs to go with the flow.

I don't want to exaggerate the effect of not interfering with the child here, after all, the results will certainly be different if the parents and the child are different.

But one thing is certain, when we choose to occasionally let go and not interfere, it is definitely ourselves who benefit, the emotions are better, and the relationship is better. The harmony of the family atmosphere and relationship is also beneficial to the growth of the child.

After non-interference, parents should also make a good demonstration, words are not as good as teaching by example, and slowly the child will be infected and changed, and this change is his own initiative and behavior, which is growth.

So when the child is "disobedient", we may choose the appropriate "non-interference", let it develop naturally, and demonstrate it correctly. Before educating your child, adjust your mood. Do you agree? Leave your opinion in the comments section~

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Source: Jilin Mommy Baby Network

Reporter: Chen Xutong Producer: Baby Uncle