"Why am I always tired?"
Often feel tired and have a deep sense of powerlessness, which is a common disease of modern adults.
Life is stressful, busy but feel confused, empty, depressed;
No matter how hard you try, it seems that you are always stuck somewhere and can't get a promotion and a raise;
Every relationship seems to repeat the same mistakes, uneasiness, quarrels, cold wars;
Sensitive and inferior, he wants to break through himself but always ends up in vain...
It was as if there was an uncontrolled child living in his heart, desperately pulling himself.
You want to move forward, it wants to go backwards; you want to challenge yourself, it wants to shrink back in fear; you want to be calm, it wants to cry and collapse.
You blame it for immaturity, but it cries even harder.
In fact, these inner entanglements and struggles are all the work of your inner child, which psychology calls: inner child. It is calling for help from you, longing to be seen and loved by you.
A girl abroad who had been plagued by anxiety and depression made a short video of her healing story of how to get out of the shadows, vividly showing us the "inner child". The video was so popular as soon as it was released that many people said they saw themselves in it.
It was the girl's birthday, but she was lying alone in bed complaining to herself, as if she had been forgotten by the whole world.
"Don't get your hopes up, you don't have friends"
"Nobody cares, they hate you"
Suddenly, a cute little girl appeared
Smile and hold the paintbrush
Draw in the girl's gray world
The child also handed her the paintbrush
Let her paint herself
She said: You have no talent
This sentence plunged into the child's body at once
The ignorant child drew a world for her with a pen
In this world, the girl sees her past self
When she showed her paintings to her friends
Companion Response: How silly
At the same time, her wrist was locked by a lock
Laughed when she was pushed down
There was another lock on his body
Then more negative voices appeared
The chains on the girls are also increasing
"You're not good enough, you're a loser, don't try anymore"
"You freak, nobody likes you, useless guy"
Until I saw that the child in front of me was full of chains
She knew, this little child
It is the wounded self in the depths of my heart
She walked over to the child and hugged her tightly
In her ear, seriously say to her
You are important
Later, the girl pushed open the window
It was sunny outside
She told herself: You can!
If the child does not appear, the girl may remain in the pain of being hurt in the past forever, desperately denying, degrading, and abandoning herself, and being shackled and bound.
And when the girl gently hugs the child, tell her: You are important. She was reborn, and the original gray world was full of sunshine.
This is the power of "healing the inner child."
Inner children do not grow up
No matter how hard we try, we can't grow
In everyone's heart, there is a small child.
Whether in childhood or adulthood, when it does not get enough care and love, it will always crouch in the corner and cry, becoming a child with uncertainties.
It will dominate your brain:
Makes your thinking unclear and easy to be emotional. When your demands are not met, when others disagree with you, when things backfire... Make you angry, sad, panicking, and even develop into depression, anxiety and other physical and mental diseases;
It will exacerbate your family of origin contradictions:
Double the love you lacked in childhood to your parents in the form of rebellion, indifference, resistance to communication, etc.;
It will ruin your intimacy:
Make you insecure, love carefully, fear of loss, often used as a flatterer in exchange for the care of your partner;
It will mess up your work:
Let you have no self-confidence in your work, always afraid of doing the wrong thing, dare not refuse, dare not fight, affect your judgment and decision-making, and "drag you back" at critical moments;
It will also be passed on to your child:
Over time, it will inject emotions, vulnerability and sensitivity, procrastination, inferiority, etc. into your personality, and at the same time, in the process of getting along with your children, it will subtly "inherit" your children...
Moreover, the more we ignore it, the more we suppress it, the more frustrated and resistant the inner child will be, as if it is an endless cycle, so that you lose good character, good relationships, and good life.
Because the inner child's needs are not met, emotions are not released, and values are not affirmed, she will always crouch there crying and stop growing.
The inner child is like the shortest board of the barrel of our life. It doesn't grow, and no matter how hard we try, we can't grow.
So Jung said, "The inner child is the light above all light, the leader of healing." ”
Only when the inner child is seen, healed, and grows happily and healthily with us, will our hearts truly grow and truly feel happy.
There has been an outward search for reconciliation
It is better to grow up with the inner child
On the road to self-healing, we always say that we must "reconcile with our original families", "accept the cruel world", "embrace our imperfect selves"... But the superficial reconciliation and acceptance is more about asking for fish and scratching the itch of the boots.
Growing up with an inner child is the deepest healing for oneself.
A mother who has long insisted on healing her inner child said:
In the adult world, there is no easy word, even if the heart is boiling water, the surface must be pretended to be calm. And I don't.
Before, I was prone to breakdowns, cold feelings, children crying... The working family was a chicken feather, and after calming down, it had to be rebuilt again and again on the ruins.
Now, I have finally laid a solid foundation for myself, enough to cope with the storms of life.
Because I have a magic weapon - to talk to the baby in my heart.
Once a week, I return to my childhood to take care of the crying, lonely little girl and give her enough support, attention, praise and love. Now she has finally grown up, strong enough to become a good wife and a good mother.
The child is a copy of the parents, and the best gift I can give my daughter is to change my original.
When I learn to love myself and take care of myself, naturally, I can imperceptibly pass on this love to my children without having to deliberately try or imitate others.
Your inner child is also waiting for you, she is waiting for you to hug her, and say to her, "I'm here, don't be afraid~"
Source: Enjoy Psychology Classroom