Get to know rebellious kids

"Rebellion is not the child's fault" is being studied.

"Rebellious children have some common traits: they lose their temper easily, they are moody, they almost always refuse to do what they are asked to do, they are unwilling to accept the authority of adults, their relationships are seriously challenged, they often shout angrily, saying that you are too unfair to me, or why do you always punish me, and so on.

The rebellious child lacks mature emotions, he is not able to deal rationally with all kinds of setbacks, nor can he quickly learn from his mistakes.

If the parent simply treats him the same way he treats an adult, it will not work.

Parents must learn to truly understand their children in order to be able to help them get out of this rebellious process.

What happens if the rebellion is not well controlled?

Some children will have a very long cycle of regression, and some children will eventually experience depression, or symptoms of depression, and even lead to crime.

So this is a very serious topic. ”

Yes, I am reminded of the sentence my daughter wrote in her notebook when I was eight or nine years old: "I hate Mom and Dad!" I'm going to kill them!" I want them to die! ”

Originally, the child instinctively loves the parents, trusts and worships the parents, and the parents have done many things that make the children sad and angry, and the children have decided to withdraw their love for their parents.

My daughter used to love learning so much, and suddenly decided not to go to school, and the struggle she experienced must have been very painful. Unfortunately, I am ignorant and have poor empathy, and I can't see it. If you see it, you won't understand it, and you won't be able to empathize. It will only be a stinky scolding with a covered face. Because of this, the daughter will be isolated and helpless, and can only instinctively choose depression to protect herself.

I remembered that my daughter had confided in me that she was often in a bad mood, and that even the weather would not aggravate the depression. He also mentioned that he had a fight with a good friend, could not find a companion during dinner, and was very lonely inside. Whenever my daughter said this, my first reaction was that I couldn't understand it, and I felt very pretentious and vulnerable. He will say that his conditions were so poor and the difficulties were so many that he insisted on it alone. It is also said that there will be more setbacks when you grow up, so how to adapt to society if you are so fragile? Looking back now, saying this will only make my daughter more desperate and sad.

Now that I think about my thoughts at that time, I feel that I have suffered for my daughter, provided her with such good material conditions, and has no worries about food and clothing, she should study hard, don't think about things, and let my mother be upset and worried. I think my daughter is too ignorant.

Because I grew up like this when I was a child, I felt that I had to endure pain and not cause trouble for my parents.

Moreover, the stress and anxiety transmitted by my daughter will really be like a hook, which will trigger many negative emotions in me. Therefore, when my daughter needed help, she hurt me for the first time, and I couldn't take care of myself, I was in pain, and I could only sprinkle salt on my daughter's wound.

This is why I strongly advocate that parents should first love themselves, take care of themselves, and live well.

Only parents who love full of self-overflow and live well have the strength to love their children, carry their children's emotions with greater capacity, and have the energy to correctly lead their children.

Experts say that when the value and energy of a child's life is extremely low, low to a certain extent, it is like being seriously ill. It is simply unable to undertake a series of life issues such as learning and social interaction. If you are not depressed, let go of everything to recuperate, you have to cope with it hard, the value of life and energy continue to decline, and finally you can only die.

So, correctly understand and accept your child's rebellion and depression.