A few days ago, I saw a book "Worth it in the world", the author is a psychologist, she has worked continuously for 70 years, during which Nakamura Hengzi has experienced various tribulations in life, she expresses these pasts in words, and tells people about life with her life experience.
Whether it is an older doctor, a lawyer, or a young white-collar worker in an office building, he likes to tell her about his heart.
She has healed the wounds of countless people with her concentration and patience, and her positive attitude towards her work has been maintained until the end of her life, and she still has the habit of working at least 4 days a week.
In fact, her growth experience is relatively bumpy, and her life at home is embarrassing, and her parents always remind her to "rely on herself".
Because it didn't cost money to go to medical school at that time, Nakamura decided to become a psychologist.
During the war years, her daily journey to school was extremely difficult, and she had to avoid various bombings to reach the school. Finding a job after graduation is also not smooth. She then married a doctor and thought she would be able to live happily ever after.
Soon after marriage, he found that her husband was an alcoholic, often taking the family's money to invite guests to drink. Never ask anything about the family, and it doesn't matter if the cost of living at home is sufficient.
Nakamura, on the other hand, needs to work while educating her children. The expenses of the family need to be supported by her salary, and life is very hard.
Even in the face of such a bad life situation, Hengzi still maintains her love for life and work, she feels that she is very happy, and life is very beautiful.
At the age of 90, she wrote down her life's experiences, and the book recorded the hardships she experienced and her inner analysis of life's encounters. After reading it, I have a new understanding of life, these rules of life, I hope to help you.
Work is all about making money
As the saying goes, "Man dies for money, and birds die for food." "It's not so much about working to achieve self-worth as it is about making a living."
Sometimes, don't have too high expectations, but it's more relaxed. No matter what kind of job, what can make money is good work. When the work is not satisfactory, but you are unable to change the status quo, it is better to work hard and work hard to earn money.
When Nakamura First started her job, her salary was not ideal, but she persevered. If she doesn't go to work, life may be difficult.
Be sure not to consume yourself excessively, most of the success in life depends on the accumulation of day by day
Hengzi's attitude toward most things in life is: "It is basically enough to do this today." ”
But this is not perfunctory, but to distribute the limited energy evenly, without excessively concentrated consumption of oneself.
Smart people know how to take a long-term view, and every success is the final burst of energy in life, day after day.
Maintaining a certain "sense of distance" is the secret of good interpersonal relationships
Hengzi said: "If people want to maintain a good relationship for a long time, there is only one secret, that is, to keep their distance. ”
Hengzi and her children are like this, after the children are married, she never participates in their lives. So the relationship between them is very friendly.
Friends, or family members, and lovers are like this, but they interfere more in other people's lives and maintain distance and boundaries. Gradually, the contradictions are better, and the relationship is better.
Don't skimp on your own efforts, "help each other" can last
If friends want to be long-lasting, they need to know how to keep their distance and give enthusiasm at the right time.
In his work, Hengzi never cares about who does more and who does less. She is always enthusiastic about helping everyone in need, so in work and life, there will always be someone willing to help her.
"You come and go" is the most direct and effective way to cultivate feelings.
Being brave enough to say "no" will make life much easier
Hengzi pointed out that most people in the world have a "common disease", that is, love to be strong.
These people often take matters into their own hands, and other people's requests cannot be refused, nor are they willing to seek help from others. In the end, I suffered alone and had nowhere to tell.
In fact, when encountering something that is powerless or unwilling, you can bravely say "no", which is not cowardice, but a smart performance of loving yourself.
Rejecting meaningless socializing that wastes time, rejecting things outside of one's own abilities, is also a kind of life wisdom.
Life has ups and downs, sorrows and joys, perhaps lonely, perhaps colorful. In the face of the past, there is no need to regret, and there is no need to fear in the face of the future. May people have no regrets in their lives, the years will no longer be wasted, and they will always believe that the world is worth it.