In recent years, many people have said, "Today's children are getting harder and harder to teach." Can't beat, scold, can't say ~ but how much truth is said, children can't listen to it! "I think that it is necessary to train and educate children to fight or to fight. However, "beating" children should be divided into things, occasions, time, the most important thing is to "hit" children to know the severity, the wound skin does not hurt the bone, and the important parts cannot be beaten. Punishment is the mainstay, and children must not be hurt.
The old saying has clouds: "Filial piety is born under the stick, and high disciple is born under the precepts", the former sentence reflects family education, and the latter sentence reflects school education! To cultivate and educate children, the methods and forms should be diverse, but in any case, children must have a certain fear, and education without fear must be a failed education! Persuasion education is not and cannot be the only form of advice, the educated are very different, and the forms of education should be diversified! "Hitting" may not be the best way to suggest, but "hitting" is an indispensable way of suggesting!
Before the age of three, he was arrogant, willful, and lying and slandering
As the saying goes: "Three years old looks big, seven years old to old!" "Modern medical research also shows that a child from birth to 3 years old is the most rapid period of children's physical development and psychological development. In other words, at this stage, the parents' expectations, behaviors, speech, values and living habits will be internalized by the child in a subtle way into his own set of early intrinsic value rule system, and these initial values in his later life are like a set of primary codes of conduct. Then, in such a case, the guidance of parents to their children will play a role in the support of the keel.
However, in the face of two- and three-year-old children, everyone must have heard of "terrible two-year-old, terrible three-year-old". To put it simply, at this stage, children's self-awareness and independent consciousness begin to appear gradually, and stubbornness is their most obvious manifestation. "Don't, don't!" Be their mantra. Toys do not lend to other children to play, other people's toys they like to want to take for themselves, have to try a variety of "dangerous" things, a word will be thrown all over the ground ~ ~ ~ Parents are really headaches for this, say good not to coax good mothers, it is really a minute of people set up to collapse into a shrew!
Have you tried countless positive discipline methods, my bear child is useless! Still a word of disagreement to beat the child, see the favorite toy up to grab, what do you do?
Li Meijin, a professor at the Chinese Min Public Security University, told her parents in an interview program: "In the process of growing up, people must form something, in addition to love, they must also have a sense of awe." ”
"If the child breaks the law, the punishment is actually a kind of protection, let him know to be afraid, know regret, and never dare to dare again, really let him dare not be protected."
Before the age of 3, many "truth" children often do not understand the stakes, so let the child gently suffer from the "flesh", but let the child remember what the parents said. As children age, memory will get better and better, and "hitting" will become an indelible shadow in memory. This "beating" cannot be a simple and rude "beating" to change the method, otherwise the child will remember you for a lifetime. After the age of 3, the child expands with the expansion of the knowledge he has entered kindergarten and is exposed to, and he can tell him the truth that the child can understand, he can understand it, and there is no need to use the pain of "skin and flesh".
So how to fight it? Many parents see that their children are disobedient, they beat their hands, slap them, kick hard, and some even take out very thick wooden sticks to beat their children to a piece of blue and purple, such a way of playing is called "domestic violence". My method is to prepare a very thin cane or bamboo at home, and when the child makes a mistake, he will hit the palm or back of his hand a few times. Because the rattan and bamboo are very thin, they are like needles and needles, but they will not hurt the child's bones. Children can remember such pain and most of the time will not make the same mistake.
"Arbitrary, willful, lying and slandering" is an act of beating in our family, and the concepts that each person instills in their children may be different. It is suggested here that heavy penalties should be imposed on persons involved in personality and conduct. Establish good conduct for children from an early age, so that they will not be tired of them when they grow up.
Unintentional, depressed, not very public
The child is unintentional, malicious, and knows that he is wrong when he does something wrong. In the case that you are already very guilty, sad, and sad, your parents should give love and understanding. Actively face and solve problems with children, without hitting or scolding, so that parents give their children the source of love and warmth. When a person is very lost and unbearable, someone gives him love, understanding and support. His resilience and bearing strength will be stronger. The public is not big, a 3-year-old child also has his own self-esteem and "face", in front of his friends and outsiders to save this little face, the child will be more confident.
"At the beginning of man, nature is inherently good" and "At the beginning of man, nature is inherently evil"
There are many people who think that "a person is born is a blank piece of paper, everything about the child depends on the acquired education", many years ago, I also thought that this sentence was correct, but many years later, I think this sentence is wrong, people may be born with a blank piece of paper, but this white paper has a certain background color, but when born, this background color is not much different, with the increase of age, this background color will become more and more obvious! Confucius advocated "the beginning of man, nature is good", and Xunzi advocated "the beginning of man, nature is evil", reflecting two different views.
But both advocate "sexual proximity, habits are far away", whether a person is born good or evil, the nature is similar, with the environment and education, habits are very different! That is to say, the environment and education are the most critical elements that affect a person's growth!
Xi Mengmu chose her neighbor and did not learn to break the machine
Mencius lost his father from childhood, following his mother Ni, one day, Meng Mu saw Mengzi fighting with the children of the neighbor's family, Meng Mu thought that the environment here was not good, she moved, the new home is close to the cemetery, there will often be the act of burying coffins, Meng Mu found that Meng Zi dug a pit in the yard to bury branches, Meng Mu thought it was not good here, she moved again, this time, they moved next to a blacksmith shop, after a period of time, Meng Mu found that Meng Zi often beat stones with branches in the yard to imitate blacksmiths, Meng Mu thought it was inappropriate, and moved again.
This time moved to the side of a school, after a period of time, Meng Mu saw Mengzi shaking his head and imitating the gentleman of the academy, Meng Mu sent Mengzi into the academy, but soon after learning, Mengzi learned enough! When she went home and didn't study, Meng Mu called Mencius to the loom and told him how this cloth went from noodle to thread, from thread to cloth, and then took out scissors to cut the cloth on the loom, saying, You give up your studies now is like cutting a woven cloth, Mencius was shocked! This story was written into the general preface of the Three Character Sutra and was regarded by posterity as a model for educating children. But is it really that simple?
Meng Mu found that Mencius's children fought, Meng Mu beat Meng Mu's ass fiercely with rattan, and punished Mengzi for not being able to eat, later, Mengzi did not learn well again and again, Meng Mu even let Mengzi "naked kneeling and admit his mistakes" on the street, otherwise he would not give food, Meng Mu was definitely the most powerful educator in Chinese history, "hitting" is not the best way of education, but "hitting" is an indispensable way of education in education!
From ancient times to the present, "punishing" is indispensable in education!
From Confucius to the 1970s and 1980s, the ruler was an indispensable disciplinary tool in school education. In school education, fear is an indispensable factor in the child's heart, a student has made a mistake, generally will persuade the child to educate, after the invalidity will be corporal punishment, corporal punishment is ineffective to let parents take home to reflect, in the invalid to be expelled, in general, students have a certain fear in their hearts, can abide by the school rules and discipline! However, since 2000, education in China has undergone some changes.
In the past, teachers corporal punishment of students was a normal disciplinary behavior, similar to parents managing children, but after 2000, teachers corporal punishment of students became illegal, similar to killing people and setting fires! After 2010, experts invented a new word "disguised corporal punishment", this word contains all the management measures that teachers can think of, punishment stations belong to corporal punishment of students, running on the playground belongs to corporal punishment of students, punishment for cleaning belongs to disguised corporal punishment, punishment for writing homework belongs to disguised corporal punishment ... ..., at present, the only way for teachers not to violate the law is to persuade education!
Family education has been lost, and school education cannot be maintained!
This generation in China is the second generation of only children, is a pampered generation, seven or eight adults guard this one "ancestor", do not dare to take the moon, basically the top are self-centered, selfish, disrespectful, no courtesy of the "little young master" and "little princess", but it is said that there is no tutor! These ancestors enter the school, once there is a responsible teacher to discipline, or preach, or discipline, parents will try their best to block, more and more teachers began to learn the "Buddhist system", not that the teachers are irresponsible, but the teachers are powerless!
In the past, the teacher's duty was to "teach and educate people", but now the teacher is just a "teacher"! "Scolding" may not be the best way of education, but "beating and scolding" is an indispensable way of education. Different children use different forms of education, and the old saying has clouds: first-class people are adults without beating and scolding, second-class people are adults who beat and scold, and third-class people are not adults with even beatings and scolding! Persuasion education is not a panacea, persuasion education can not be applied to all students, for "those with criminal potential" students, persuasion education is really effective?
Conclusion:
The purpose of our "beating" of the child is to let him realize through the pain of flesh and skin that his behavior is wrong, so that he does not dare to repeat it next time, in order to give the correct values and the bottom line of being a person to the child. Instead of venting your bad emotions on your children, this is something that parents should remember.