Love is an exclusive emotion, and when a person who is deeply in love sees that the object he likes is closely related to other members of the opposite sex, it is inevitable that pain and jealousy will arise in his heart.
In love, everyone may be jealous because of the lover's behavior of "favoring one over the other", but if a person is too jealous and does not know how to restrain his behavior, he will make himself miserable at the same time, but also do things to hurt the lover.
Regarding the source of jealousy in love, the writer Vasilev believes that there are two main points, and he wrote in the book "On Love":
The first type of jealousy is based on unwarranted suspicion, and the second is caused by a "lack of faith."
In a marital relationship, unwarranted suspicion of a partner, as well as a lack of confidence in oneself, can make the feelings between husband and wife fragile.
But in real life, some people do not understand this truth, they are full of suspicion of the marriage partner due to their inner lack of confidence, but once love becomes a desire to control under the influence of suspicion, the feelings between husband and wife will become tense.
Marriage is a couple to form a family together, and the family should also be a place full of love, couples only a little more trust and tolerance between each other, they can work together to run a good married life.
The young husband suffered domestic violence and was burned with boiling water by his 47-year-old wife
Xiao Qiang (pseudonym), 37, who lives in Yangquan City, has been married to his wife, Damei (pseudonym), 47, for a year.
But now, Xiao Qiang is emaciated, his face is haggard, and he even needs to be supported when he walks, what has Xiao Qiang experienced?
Xiao Qiang said that a month ago, he was scalded by his wife with boiling hot water.
Xiao Qiang pulled up his clothes, only to see that his back had a large area of burn marks, seeing such a situation, Xiao Qiang's father said painfully, his son was in pain every day and could not sleep, he could only sleep on his stomach, and the burned place needed to change the medicine once a day.
Even if it has been a month since Xiao Qiang was injured, the redness and swelling on his body are still clearly visible, so why didn't he ask for help on the day he was burned by his wife?
In this regard, Xiao Qiang said that at that time, she (Damei) had controlled me, I couldn't see things clearly, and I didn't have a mobile phone, she locked the door during the day and locked the door at night, and I couldn't go out.
Fortunately, Xiao Qiang's 75-year-old father came to see him and picked him up, and he only picked up a life, but he had just been married for less than a year, why would his wife give Xiao Qiang such a heavy hand?
Recalling the injury a month ago, Xiao Qiang said that when he got up that morning, Da MeiFei said that I stole her key, and I said I didn't take your key, and she was angry.
It turned out that Da Mei was 10 years old stronger than Xiao Qiang, after the two married, Da Mei was jealous of her young husband Xiao Qiang because of her lack of confidence in the feelings of the two people, in order to prevent Xiao Qiang from betraying the marriage, Da Mei never gave the key to Xiao Qiang, but she also suspected that Xiao Qiang had stolen the key herself, so she quarreled with Xiao Qiang and burned Xiao Qiang with hot water.
What makes Xiao Qiang feel even more chilled is that in the month he was injured, Damei not only did not come to take care of him, but also did not even have a greeting, and his wife's attitude made him completely disappointed in this marriage, and he bluntly said that he did not want to live with Damei.
But why did Xiao Qiang and Damei, who was 10 years older than himself, join hands into the palace of marriage? How does Da Mei view the relationship between her and Xiao Qiang?
The 47-year-old wife is grumpy, and she burns her young husband with jealousy, saying bluntly: I don't want to lose him
It turned out that Xiao Qiang and Da Mei were introduced to each other a year ago, when Xiao Qiang was 36 years old, eager to get married and start a family, ending his single career; and Da Mei was a Chongqing girl, who had two failed marriages, and she fell in love with Xiao Qiang at first sight, and the two soon fell in love.
After a month or two of getting along, the two quickly obtained a marriage license, in order to let his son and daughter-in-law have a house, Xiao Qiang's father not only used up the family's money, but also borrowed a part of the debt, and bought a 45-square-meter house for the two families in the city.
At the beginning of the new marriage, Xiao Qiang and Da Mei still got along more harmoniously, but two months later, Da Mei's suspicion and desire for control gradually appeared, which made Xiao Qiang miserable.
Da Mei not only did not give Xiao Qiang the key to the door of his home, but also locked Xiao Qiang in his home, but also suspected that Xiao Qiang was unfaithful to the marriage and repeatedly quarreled with Xiao Qiang.
Xiao Qiang said that the reason why his eyes could not see things was because he was injured by Damei in the process of arguing with Damei.
Under the oppression of his wife's domestic violence, Xiao Qiang felt that life could hardly go on, Xiao Qiang's family lived on the second floor, in order to get rid of his wife, he did not hesitate to jump out of the window to escape, but even so, he was still found by his wife, until later he was burned by his wife.
But how does Damei view her behavior? Xiao Qiang found Da Mei with the help of his relatives.
At first, Damei said that it is very normal for husband and wife to fight, she is now working outside every day, her own life has become a problem, and she is unable to bear Xiaoqiang's medical expenses, she bluntly said that Xiaoqiang's family has money, but Xiaoqiang's family is reluctant to pay him for medical treatment.
But obviously It was Da Mei who injured Xiao Qiang, and she asked Xiao Qiang's parents to pay Xiao Qiang to see a doctor, is this appropriate?
After being persuaded by the mediator and colleagues, Damei did not think that she was wrong at first, and later realized that her behavior may be suspected of violating the law, and she felt remorse and fear for her behavior.
Da Mei came to Xiao Qiang's side again, she changed her former strength, and asked Xiao Qiang in a gentle voice, Husband, are the injuries on your body healed, how are your eyes?
Seeing that Xiao Qiang did not reject her, Da mei continued, I know it is wrong, I will not do this to you in the future.
But since she knew today, why would Damei have made such a cruel move on her husband in the first place?
Damei said that she does not want her beloved things to be robbed, because she is 10 years older than Xiaoqiang, so she is worried that Xiaoqiang will betray the marriage and choose to leave her, so she will strictly discipline Xiaoqiang under the influence of control.
Da Mei said that in fact, she loved Xiao Qiang deeply in her heart, but she was short-tempered, and she couldn't control herself as soon as she started a fire, and all her actions were worried that she would lose Xiao Qiang.
At this time, looking at Xiao Qiang, who was covered with scars, Damei was also regretful, she took Xiao Qiang to the hospital for a review, and learned that Xiao Qiang's injury recovery was good, and she was willing to accompany Xiao Qiang to see her eyes after a while.
Even after seeing his wife's remorse, Xiao Qiang still had palpitations, he agreed to live at home temporarily, but he wanted his father to live with him, and whether he would sue his wife in the future depended on his wife's performance.
Seeing Xiao Qiang say so, Da Mei was very happy, she immediately equipped Xiao Qiang with a door key, and said that she would treat Xiao Qiang well in the future.
At this point, the marriage story of Xiao Qiang and Da Mei has temporarily come to an end.
Sentiment Analysis:
Regarding the desire to control, there is a line in the movie "Black Swan":
Perfection is not in control, but in release.
Applying this sentence to love, we can get such a revelation: in a good marriage relationship, husband and wife should trust each other and leave room for the development of love between both parties.
Many times, love is like sand in the palm of your hand, the more you want to hold it, it will gradually flow away from between your fingers, if you choose to let go, the love relationship will become more harmonious.
In the marriage story between Damei and Xiaoqiang, Damei is due to the lack of self-confidence in married life and is worried that Xiaoqiang will leave herself, so she will show a strong desire to control when getting along with Xiaoqiang, and even use domestic violence to hurt Xiaoqiang.
From the marriage story of Xiao Qiang and Da Mei, we can get at least the following three points of enlightenment:
First, the happiness of married life is based on mutual understanding between husband and wife.
The writer Rousseau once said in the book "Emile": A person's marriage can determine the fate of a person's life, so it must be considered with sufficient time.
Marriage is a person's lifelong event, should be treated with caution, Da Mei and Xiao Qiang in only one or two months of acquaintance, the two sides will ignore the age difference between each other, in the case of mutual understanding, hastily entered the marriage, which may be doomed to the marriage road of the two, will not be smooth.
If Xiao Qiang and Da Mei can communicate for a period of time before marriage, enhance their understanding of each other, and then enter the palace of marriage hand in hand, the marriage relationship between the two of them may be more harmonious.
Second, the key to marital happiness lies in the fact that the husband and wife know how to care for each other and tolerate each other.
Da Mei is 10 years old than Xiao Qiang, she lacks insecurity in this married life, and is worried that Xiao Qiang will leave her, which is also a matter of reproach.
But Damei's practice of strictly restraining her husband in order to keep her husband around and make it impossible for him to leave her is obviously unwise, which not only makes her live in the pain of suspicion all day long, but also makes her husband physically and mentally exhausted in married life.
If Damei can treat Xiaoqiang in a caring and inclusive way, I believe that Xiaoqiang will definitely feel more caring for Damei and more loyal to marriage while feeling love.
Third, only when couples know how to trust each other, the love relationship between them can be warm and stable.
The origin of the contradiction between Damei and Xiaoqiang's marriage lies in the fact that Damei does not trust Xiaoqiang enough.
Damei cares too much about Xiaoqiang and is worried that Xiaoqiang will leave her, so she uses a strong attitude to discipline Xiaoqiang, which makes Xiaoqiang feel painful and depressed, and he even wants to escape from this marriage.
If Damei can trust Xiaoqiang more in her married life, I believe that Xiaoqiang will definitely find a sense of love and belonging in Damei, and work with him to run a stable and warm married life.
(Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion)