Hello everyone, I'm a big brother! Recently, some parents left a message to the big brother asking, "I give my child reasoning, but he doesn't listen, so what to do?" "The big brother also feels that this problem is more representative, so he takes it out and shares it with everyone, I don't know if everyone has encountered such a problem, and reasoned with the child over and over again, but the child just doesn't listen, and completely takes the parents' words as the wind in his ears."
Many parents will be troubled by this problem: talking too much, children not only do not listen, but even very disgusted with the truth told by parents.
Big brother, this is what the hell is going on? What should parents say so that children can listen to it?
One: The Myrabine Law
Through this law, parents can understand that when parents and children are reasoning, children can really hear even 7%, and more often they are just observing your expression and tone.
If you want to hit people, have a violent expression, and yell, the child will immediately have a stress response, and subconsciously will want to avoid it. A slightly older child may fight back with a mouthpiece, or pretend not to hear it and just throw it away.
Parents want to convey 100% to their children, but the children can't even receive 7%, so the result is that you say it over and over again, and the child doesn't hear it.
But the effect is indeed the more nagging the parent, the worse the educational effect on the child.
Two: Children have different understandings of preaching at different stages
● Children before the age of 6 are self-centered
Preschoolers don't understand the big truth, what you say, they don't know, they simply know that it is okay or not, and they are self-centered, they have no idea what you are expressing.
● Children after the age of 6, the mind begins to be independent, like to sing the opposite.
The parent's reason is the parent's, the child has his own ideas, and he does not like to be imprisoned by the parent's reason. If your child feels undesirable, he will refute you.
Therefore, parents will find that children are becoming more and more "rebellious". At first, reasoning still works, but slowly, the child is completely in the ear.
High-level educational methods
So, if reasoning doesn't work, will you let freedom go? Of course not, the purpose of parents to reason is to let children do things according to the correct method, do not make mistakes, then there are many ways, reasonable, is the next policy.
Follow the guidelines
For preschoolers, there is no need to talk about the truth at length, nor do you need to blame and punish, just a simple and clear sentence, so that children understand that changes are only because love is mutual, and not because they have done wrong.
For example, if a child scribbles on the wall, parents do not need to nag endlessly, just tell the child that I have to spend a lot of energy to deal with the wall, if you love me and hurt me, don't do it.
In this way, the child will stop making mistakes because of his love for his parents.
Praise is encouraged
As children, encouragement and praise are the driving force for their progress and growth, and being recognized by parents and teachers is the most exciting thing for them. But encouragement is not blind encouragement, and praise is not praise for everything, in fact, there are skills and principles.
Therefore, if parents follow these two communication principles, it is difficult for the children you educate to be excellent.
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