There is a famous saying in "The Siege":
"Marriage is a walled city, and people outside the city want to go in, and people in the city want to come out."
Yes, the long road of life, marriage has the trouble of marriage, celibacy has the sorrow of celibacy.
Along the way, I have seen too many people who have had a bad life after marriage, and I have also seen too many single shadows and lonely backs.
Finally, I learned that in life, there is no choice that can be made once and for all.
In March, a woman in Fujian province was seriously injured by her husband, who had been married for 30 years.
When she was taken to the hospital, her skull was cracked and badly deformed.
She lay feebly in a hospital bed, breathless and dependent on a ventilator to sustain herself.
During this period, the hospital issued numerous critical illness notices.
After two craniotomys and the removal of multiple fragments of skull, she barely survived.
But then she was in a coma for a full 63 days.
When asked why, her son sobbed:
"It is no exaggeration to say that my father beat my mother to the ground with his hands, and the number of times he was unconscious could not count with several hands..."
In the comment area, netizens have left messages:
"It's really terrible, get a divorce soon!"
"The marriage of the wrong person is a blunt knife that tortures a woman."
To the point.
I like a saying: "To marry in a hurry is to risk becoming an unfortunate person." ”
Yes, getting married, not necessarily fine, but getting married is too late.
Because marriage is the boundary between the first half of life and the second half of life, it is the battlefield of the competition between the wind and snow moon and chai rice oil and salt.
Marry the wrong person, the road ahead is the abyss -
There is domestic violence, there is infidelity, there are many holes in marriage;
There is pain, there is misfortune, there is a place of life.
Only there is no warmth of two hearts, and the happiness of white heads and old age.
This is a marriage weight that the vast majority of people cannot bear.
I have a good friend who has been single for many years.
It's not that there is no yearning for marriage, but I haven't met the one I like.
So over the years, I became an unmarried person.
When working, it is bright and beautiful to kill everywhere;
When you have free time, you can take a leisurely tour.
Whenever the seven aunts and eight aunts urged marriage, she always said:
"Marriage is not the whole of life, and it is nothing if you don't get married."
However, on Christmas Eve, my friend suddenly sent this circle of friends:
It turned out that when the fireworks were everywhere outside, when the neighbors overflowed with the smell of food, when the family on the street was holding hands and they were alone, they really wanted to cry.
Seeing such a text, I sighed.
Yes, the biggest pain point of not getting married is those lonely times when no one responds.
After all, no matter how strong people are, they occasionally crave a warm embrace.
And the mutual snuggling between two ordinary people is enough to warm the cold and long night of life.
I never think that a good life has a constant criterion, such as marriage, such as having children.
However, one thing is certain, and that is:
Life in the world, loneliness, is an eternal proposition.
No matter how experienced people are, they will also want to get rid of the loneliness of celibacy at certain times in their lives;
No matter how strong people are in their hearts, they will not be able to resist the loneliness of no one to share at some intersections in life.
I don't know if you have ever seen such a "life to regret" table:
1, did not do what they want to do;
2, did not realize the dream;
3. Have done something sorry for your conscience;
4. Spend your life under the influence of feelings;
5. Have not tried their best to help others;
6. Believe in yourself too much
……
This is the result of the research of The famous Japanese hospice doctor Shuichi Otsu - "25 Things I Regret Before Dying".
During his years of practicing medicine, he recorded and counted the dying regrets of 1,000 patients.
In the end, Shuichi Otsu concluded that different people with different choices for the same thing will have different regrets.
That is to say, in this life, people will have regrets when they make any choice.
There is a saying: "Regret is the poison of choice, and choice is the poison of regret." ”
That's right.
Entering marriage, you have to undergo the polishing of chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea;
If you don't marry for life, you will have to endure the loneliness of no one asking you for porridge.
Finally, the people in the besieged city envied the freedom of celibacy, and the people outside the besieged city longed for the warmth of the family.
Each has their own choices, each has its own regrets.
They don't know that the right choice is lucky, and the wrong choice is also experience;
They don't understand that there is no one option that can be done once and for all.
And the really powerful people know how to take responsibility for their own choices.
Meyer Musk, who owned 4 billboards in New York's Times Square at the age of 67, has a life motto:
"Life is up to me."
She debuted on the catwalk at the age of 15, didrmant for 6 years, and finally won the title of "Miss South Africa" at the age of 21.
But at the peak of her career, she resolutely decided to enter marriage and chose to get married and have children.
Unexpectedly, this became the beginning of her life's nightmare.
For the next 9 years, she was shrouded in the shadow of domestic violence.
Verbal abuse, punches and kicks are the norm, and bruises and scars are commonplace.
Her husband even threatened her: "If you dare to divorce, I will cut your face with a razor and shoot the children in the knees!" ”
But instead of giving in, she chose to take responsibility for herself, constantly pushing down and rebuilding her life.
He traveled to 3 countries to pursue a career and earned two degrees to improve himself.
Single for forty years, he independently cultivated three brothers and sisters of Tesla founder Elon Musk - not only adults, but also talents.
She said: "If you are as deep into the darkness as I used to be, I want you to know that there will always be a way out." If you want to live well, take responsibility for your future. ”
In the adult world, with every choice, there are regrets.
Only taking responsibility for our own choices is a person's greatest confidence and the strongest backer on the road of our lives.
Therefore, choose marriage, just run it well, and don't wait until the marriage has come to an end to regret it;
Choose celibacy, be yourself seriously, and don't wait until loneliness corrodes the atrium to regret it.
Man, remember at all times:
Whether you don't marry for life or marry the wrong person, there is nothing wrong with it.
Because on our life path, more important than choice, the confidence to be responsible for our own choices.
I like a quote:
If you don't get married, you will regret it.
The cats in the alley are free, but they have no home; the dogs in the walls have a home and have to bow their heads for life.
This multiple choice question of life, how to choose, there will be regrets.
Yes, make any choice, there will be regrets, look away, look down, look far away.
As long as you are responsible for yourself, you can finally clear the clouds and see the blue sky.
For the rest of your life, may you have the right to choose, and have more confidence to be responsible for your own choices;
May you take responsibility for your own life and live your own life.
Click "Watching" and encourage with friends.
Author | Red makeup
Image | Visual China, Network (if there is any infringement, please contact to delete)