Do you want your children to stand out?
The famous psychologist Alfred Adler mentioned in his book "The Psychology of Child Growth": "Human nature is closely related to its pursuit of excellence in development." ”
Many people disagree with this statement, because whether it is their own children or the children around them. There are countless children who have problems such as laziness, autism, early love, indifference to family affection, truancy, addiction to the Internet, fights, rebellion, and school aversion. They believe that such a child is stubborn and has no nature to pursue excellence at all.
Adler's conclusion is simply grandstanding.
In fact, the child has the nature of pursuing excellence, but a series of problems will occur in the process, which will change the child's behavior.
First of all, excellent people must have excellent abilities. This ability is acquired through hard work.
But we all know that human activity is limited to a certain range, and there are some abilities that we can never form and develop.
When the child is young, due to the influence of cartoons, he wants to have super powers such as cloud driving fog and teleportation. But this is an ability that a child will never acquire. Some abilities can be further developed through effort, and the possibility of this further development is the physiological basis for human beings' pursuit of excellence.
This again involves the problem of distinguishing between imagination and prediction. Because working in the wrong direction will only be futile.
When the child's efforts do not reach the expected harvest, they will "give up on themselves" and act indifferent to everything.
Take, for example, the laziness of children. Laziness is actually an invisible, under-realized strategy.
Lazy children are like tightrope walkers who add a net under the wire, and when they fall down, it is also gentle and not too heavy. So the criticism received was milder and less damaging to self-esteem than other children. Because it's better to be considered abusive than to be stupid, and it's not so painful.
All in all, laziness is like a partition, hiding the truth of a child's lack of confidence in themselves, making them completely untrouble the problem they are currently facing.
In general, parents should believe that their children have a desire to strive for excellence, and then introduce their children's efforts into meaningful and productive activities. Make sure your child makes efforts that promote your child's mental health and happiness.