There are three major illusions in life:
The mobile phone in the pocket always feels vibrating;
I was at home alone, and I always felt that someone was knocking on the door;
With the opposite sex, always feel that the other party likes themselves.
The third illusion, in particular, often exists in the lives of most people.
There is a passage on the Internet that says: "People who like me smiled with me, and I even thought about what the name of the child would be in the future." ”
In fact, in the process of getting along with the opposite sex, liking is very simple, but love is easy to be an illusion.
You think that you can't help but fall in love with each other, but in fact, it is the "illusion" in your heart, at most it is to produce good feelings, and you can't reach love.
Have you ever had those moments of love illusion?
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Love illusion one: suspension bridge effect, mistakenly taking the heartbeat as a heartbeat
There is a well-known effect in psychology, which is called the "suspension bridge effect".
Some people like to use the suspension bridge effect in the pursuit of girls, thinking that in the process of pursuing girls, take girls to some playgrounds, interact with girls at the same time, and create some tension for her.
The suspension bridge effect refers to:
When a person walks across the suspension bridge, the emotions will involuntarily tense up; the heart will beat faster, the face is red, and if there is a opposite sex on the other side at this time, he will mistake this nervousness for liking the other party.
In fact, the suspension bridge effect is an illusion in love.
For example: heroes in film and television works save the United States.
The heroine was deeply in the mud, and the male protagonist appeared to save her once, so the heroine fell in love with the boy.
In reality, is this possible?
The mood swings, the tension, the feeling of heartbeat at that moment are not love, but come from their own physiological reactions.
For example, there is a "dark effect" in psychology.
In dark environments, people's emotions and perceptions tend to be more sensitive and emotional.
At this time, if you are alone with the opposite sex, you will have a throbbing in your heart.
Going to the movies together, walking by the river at night, etc., will make you have the "illusion of heartbeat".
But when you wake up and reason prevails, you realize your mistakes.
So also tell everyone not to make decisions when you are emotionally unstable, otherwise it is easy to make mistakes.
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Love illusion two: habit as love
I wrote an article about don't talk to the same person of the opposite sex every day, or you'll like each other.
It mentions a point:
Frequently chatting with the opposite sex will make you quickly have the illusion of love, mistakenly thinking that you are in a "state of love" with each other.
In fact, the act of chatting with the other person frequently only makes you feel dependent on him.
The lonelier you are in your current state, the easier it is to like someone for chatting.
Moreover, the frequency of chat, the time of chat, will affect your feelings for him.
When you chat during the day, you don't feel anything, but when you chat in the middle of the night, you will like each other.
But the truth is, such a like does not last long.
If you chat with another member of the opposite sex and keep the same frequency, you will still have a "good feeling".
This is a person's habits and sense of dependence.
Doing something frequently will become your habit.
Insist on going to bed early and getting up early for a while, and then this becomes your habit;
Keep reading and writing, and you'll fall in love with this activity over time.
In the process of getting along with the opposite sex, it is a similar truth, the more frequently you two chat and contact, the higher the chance of generating a good feeling.
But this kind of relationship will make your sanity blinded by emotion.
When a person is in a state of inner loneliness and loneliness, it is often easy to have a good feeling for the opposite sex.
Because of the other person's smile, the sound of the voice, the feeling of liking each other when chatting with each other.
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How to avoid falling into the "love illusion"?
First: Avoid online romance
The feelings generated by online chat are often unreliable.
After all, you haven't really touched each other a few times and don't know each other well enough.
Across the screen, you don't know the expression of the other party, you can't feel whether the other party is sincere, and it is easy to be blinded by the illusion in front of you.
What's more, people are always easily affected by words, and the same words are conveyed with different tones and expressions, and have different feelings in the eyes of different people.
So, if you're planning to get in further contact with the other person and have the idea of being in love, date a few more times.
Eating, watching movies, walking around, all of these can see a person's qualities.
Second: Don't rush to express feelings, first figure out what you want
In the relationship, the more anxious the person, the easier it is to fail.
You have a good feeling for a person, you are anxious to confess, but after being together, you find that this love is not what you want, is it embarrassing?
Touch more, learn more, and then ask yourself a few questions.
What do you like about him?
What are his strengths that attract you?
If you're together, what are the odds of going on?
Are the two of you really a good fit? Personality, preferences, family conditions, etc., are they similar?
You know: couples with high similarities are often easier to go to the end.
Don't be carried away by your own momentary good feelings, and don't let your emotions determine your behavior.
Today's Topic:
Will you have the "illusion of love"?
(Article with picture source network)