What should parents do if the child "takes" the child's things?

At 21:32 last night, a parent in the parent group said fiercely: "The child lost three pencils, if any child can't afford to use a pencil, give her a word, she can send a few..." I don't know if such a scene has happened in other parent groups?

Seeing the news in the group, I also quickly went to the child's bedroom to check her pencil case, fortunately not her own child. Even so, it is still very uncomfortable to see the parents in the group talk like that, I don't know if the parents have thought about where to put their children after that excitement, and whether other children in the school will dare to play with him in the future?

As a parent, when you encounter problems with your children at school, you must deal with them properly, otherwise your children's days of learning will not be too good.

A class is full of first-grade children who have just left kindergarten and do not have the obvious concept of "stealing" and "taking" as adults.

01 Stealing in the eyes of adults

Adults are old people who have experienced "dark road slippery, social complexity". There is a clear concept of stealing.

What is stealing in the eyes of adults:"

1. Theft or theft, theft, etc., is based on the possession of oneself or a third party without legitimate rights, including custody, domination, disposal, etc.

2. Taking away the property of others without authorization is a violation of social morality, and legally, stealing is also a criminal offense under the Criminal Law.

3. The person who commits this act is called a "thief", a "thief", etc.

4. The constituent elements of the crime of theft are usually the unlawful possession, domination, punishment, etc. of the intention of oneself or a third party.

5. And have the ability to recognize that it is the property of others, but deliberately take away the property of others without consent, which is a crime of infringing on the legal interests of property.

Image source network

6, thieves can also be called thieves, generally refers to people who steal things.

7. After theft, it shall be legally responsible, and the death penalty shall be imposed after reaching the upper limit.

8. In the case of damage compensation, the defendant bears "humane responsibility" for the safety of the thief's life, that is, a fair responsibility.

9. The improvement of the legal status of thieves is considered to be a kind of legal progress, reflecting the importance and protection of personal rights in the law. ”

The above nine are the most complete explanations of "stealing" on Baidu Encyclopedia.

Therefore, parents are very excited to hear the word "steal", and they are particularly afraid that their children will be infected with such bad habits. But how to understand "stealing" in the eyes of children?

02 "Stealing" and "taking" in the eyes of children

Every adult grows up as a child and experiences similar things as children, so how do we think at that time?

Three things I personally remember as a child:

The first time: The look of about eight years old

Seeing that other people's citrus was yellow, and their own oranges (next to the ground would not know that the orange belonged to my family) were still very green, they couldn't help but want to climb up and pick other people's oranges, and as a result, the rubber shoes were broken, and their hands were pricked (the citrus tree has thorns). In the end, I failed, I didn't pick it, and I didn't dare to have the idea of picking oranges in the future.

The second time: still in the same year

There was a tall and thin cherry tree on the way home from school, and looking at the red cherry, I couldn't get hungry, but the tree was so thin that I couldn't climb, so I kicked the cherry tree and waited for the cherry to fall to pick it up.

The cherry fell, was chased and bitten by his big wolf dog, and finally the leg was bitten, and I haven't thought about the cherry since.

The third time: It seems that when I was about 10 years old, I would have dropped out of school

Because our family was relatively poor, my sister and I would go out every day to collect firewood. I remember that the corn was almost ripe, and we couldn't find any firewood everywhere, so my sister and I dragged down the yellow leaves at the bottom of the corn stalks of my uncle's house in the same village.

At that time, I thought that this was as yellow as the leaves and fell off, and it was useless, and it was good to get home and burn the fire.

At night, the owner of the cornfield came to my house with a scolding and grinning, saying that we had stolen his belongings, and before I could understand what it meant, I was beaten up by my father, and I was beaten with bruises and purples.

These are all that I did when I was a child, but at that age I really didn't know what was stealing and what was taking, and the rural baby in the 80s was really stupid.

But every time I wanted it, I thought about taking what I saw with my eyes, and I really didn't know that my behavior was called "stealing", because no one had ever told it.

Therefore, children make mistakes not intentionally, but they do not know what is "stealing", some children have poor self-control, see what they want and can't help but want to get it immediately, they reach out and take it, sometimes they can't tell who the thing should belong to, why it belongs to others and does not belong to themselves.

Every time before encountering something, think about your own experience may be able to better understand whether the child is intentional, education should pay attention to the method, can not blindly scold the child.

03What should I do if I encounter a child who loses something or takes someone else's thing?

Classes are a small society, where people throw things and people take things. Especially for children like kindergarten and first grade.

Losing things is that children do not manage their own things well, and they often lose everything. After the first grade, my girl lost things every three to five years, and she used to think that the child was still young, and it was normal to have less pens and less erasers.

I never thought about it too much, after all, they are all children, take it away! But yesterday's incident in the group reminded me that I need to take it seriously and talk to my children.

At the same time, I would like to remind parents to remember to deal with it cold when they encounter their children throwing things away. The child's things are gone, first ask the reason, figure out the reason and then prescribe the right medicine:

Once my chick came back crying and said that her decompression toy was gone, I asked her why she didn't have it, she said: "After school to go to the toilet, the toys are on the table, the cleaning classmates think she doesn't want it, so they clean it up." ”

In such a situation, there is no way to say anything, only to tell her that next time remember to put things in the bag, so as not to mistakenly think that the classmates should not clean up again. At the same time, when cleaning yourself in the future, do not casually dispose of the items on other people's tables, if people do not need things, people will clean up, we do duty only clean the ground hygiene.

If you encounter a child who loses something, first find the reason, guide the child how to keep his own belongings, and usually share the way he keeps things with the child. As your child grows older, he will take care of his belongings. As a parent, you don't have to rush too much.

Encounter children throw things many times, and children can not communicate to solve, try to private chat with the teacher to solve, do not speak too harshly, because the teacher is also a person, they also have emotions, but also hope to be calm and treated.

Parents must not speak harshly in the group, so that the feeling to other parents is that the family is unreasonable at a glance, basically will tell the child to stay away from the child, can not play with him, you have to provoke other people's children, his parents scold you in the group, go to school to beat your parents will not care about you, remember not to play with him again.

In the long run, their children are isolated in school. School is also a small society for children, they also have emotions and need friends. At home, the parents are already very grumpy, and the child has no classmates to take care of him when he goes out, he will be very pitiful.

The second situation: the child takes someone else's things

I occasionally check the child's school bag, if there is not stationery or other small items that I bought for her, I will ask one by one: "When did the girl buy this pen" The child himself will answer the source of the object and deal with it accordingly according to the child's answer.

Don't scold your children as soon as you come up, I myself am a post-80s, and when I was a child, I was beaten up for whatever reason. The first reaction in his mind is that "the child takes other people's things" should be beaten.

Once I saw a pencil in my child's pencil case that wasn't the type of pencil I had bought for her before, and I asked her if it was given to her by her uncle. Back in my bedroom, I immediately called Her uncle to verify that it was indeed given by her uncle.

Therefore, if it is found that the child does have something that does not belong to him, the parents must first verify it and then deal with it. If the child does quietly take the object of the classmate, the parent should communicate with the teacher in time and ask the situation.

First of all, explain to the child that it is not right to take other people's things without permission, and you can combine the knowledge of the previous first-grade study of the law to tell the child that the law stipulates that other people's things cannot be privately possessed.

Secondly, tell your children that the things they need to use can be bought with money, and the items that are missing in learning life can be told to their parents in time. If it is within the scope of the parents' ability to afford it, it will work together as a family and buy it later.

Parents should also pay attention to the scale of discipline of their children, and do not always scold their children. Don't be too strict with your child's school supplies, and bring two more pens to your child every day, so as not to find a pen and your child will not have a pen to use at school.

In the end, the child took something from the child privately, and the adult bought two brand new ones, took the child to apologize to the child and gave the two new ones to the child.

Parents do not feel embarrassed, will not lose any face, this is a wiser approach, children can also remember that this is not right, than the brutal beating of the child or a vitriolous scolding has an effect.