Author | Fan Deng Reading · Pure fragrance
Source | Fan Deng Reading(ID:readingclub_btfx)
James and his friend carlson, a physicist, bet:
"I'm going to let you have a bird soon."
Carlson disagreed: "I don't believe it, because I never wanted to keep a bird." ”
A few days later, on Carlson's birthday, James specially presented an exquisite birdcage.
From then on, whenever a guest came to visit and saw an empty birdcage next to his desk, he would invariably ask, "Professor, when did your bird die?"
Carlson had to explain again and again: "I've never kept a bird." ”
However, in exchange for the confused and distrustful eyes of the guests.
In desperation, Carlson had to buy a bird.
This is the famous psychological effect "birdcage effect".
Looking back at our lives, we will find that such phenomena are actually everywhere.
The things we can't throw away, like the extra birdcage, will eventually become our shackles.
Only by streamlining your life can you reduce your burden and move forward lightly.
Have you ever had this experience:
The clothes in the closet are stuffed, but more than half of the clothes are not worn again;
The plastic bags that usually come with buying things and the disposable tableware for takeaway delivery are always stuffed into the kitchen drawer;
Obviously, the family is not very big, but every time I pack up my things, I can tire myself out enough.
Reluctance to throw things not only does not bring us a sense of happiness, but will greatly reduce the quality of life.
A netizen once shared his story.
She is a person who is easily impulsive, so the family hoards a lot of things that are not used.
A year ago she bought a crawling mat for her child and picked a big sign.
Just bought back a little taste, customer service said to dry a good, indeed a week after the taste is gone.
In the winter, as soon as the heat was turned on, the smell came up again, and it was particularly strong, and she did not want to throw it away, and put it away.
Later, the downstairs neighbor complained that the child's footsteps were too noisy, and it was laid again, and in order to block the smell, a quilt was also laid on it.
Who knows, the quilt is also contaminated with smell, how can not wash off, but nevertheless, still reluctant to throw.
I simply put the crawling mat under the restaurant table as a foot pad, but the food scraps fell on top and it was difficult to clean.
Some time ago, at the strong request of her husband, she finally threw it away.
She said:
"Finally, I don't have to rack my brains about how to use it, and I don't have to worry about the smell of it causing discomfort to children."
When I made up my mind to throw it, I was not so reluctant to throw it away, and the whole person was in a happy mood after throwing it away. ”
Since then, she no longer buys things easily, but she does not hesitate to throw things away.
Over time, the home became much more empty, and the days got better and better.
Hideko Yamashita, the author of "Breaking Away", wrote a passage:
The family space only knows how to hoard things and does not know how to clean them up, just like a reservoir.
Just keeping water in and not draining water will eventually become a pool of stagnant water, the surface looks clear, and the bottom layer is all mud.
A crowded, chaotic family inevitably makes us feel uncomfortable.
Living in such an environment for a long time, it is easy to produce anxiety and even depression.
The best state of life for a person is material minimalism and spiritual abundance.
Only by throwing away those useless things can you regain control of your life.
I've heard a saying that says:
"Most of the time, people's unhappiness does not come from unfulfilled desires, but from too many desires."
When a person's desires are small, all the small blessings in life are surprises.
On the contrary, the ever-expanding desire will make a person lose his original intention.
Ge Weilong in the movie "The First Incense" is because he did not control his desires and eventually led to a tragic ending.
Ge Weilong studied in Hong Kong, and because her parents wanted to return to Shanghai, she had to go to her aunt.
In order to win over Ge Weilong, her aunt prepared a cupboard of exquisite and gorgeous clothes for her.
That night, she was blinded by these beautiful clothes and tried them on one by one.
After attending several banquets with his aunt, Ge Weilong gradually fell in love with this kind of drunken life.
In the midst of the staggering of funds, she abandoned her studies and gradually lost herself.
In the end, you can only rely on selling hue to maintain a bright and bright life on the surface.
In life, some people run for the sake of brocade and dress, and some people sink for the sake of vanity and profit.
Excessive desire, like a black hole, will eventually swallow you up step by step.
Only by controlling one's own desires can we keep our original intentions in the flashy world and cultivate pure joy.
When we were young, we also tried to expand our social circles, always thinking that one more friend would have one more way.
It wasn't until I experienced the warmth and coldness of human feelings that I found that there were very few people who really cared about us.
Actor Tao Hong, who has won countless awards, but in his most popular period, he chose to quit the entertainment circle and return to his family.
In the variety show "Women 30+", she talked about her own "past" experience:
When she was in her 30s and her career was just right, she was surrounded by a group of friends, and everyone would look up to her and look up at her.
But when she slowly faded out of sight, friends who had been very enthusiastic about her, even if they saw her, would choose to turn a blind eye.
She said: "Such friends are not one, it is a bunch, it is a group, it is an innumerable. ”
At that moment, she suddenly understood the meaning of the words "human feelings are cold and warm" and "people go tea and cold".
"You look at me like a passing actor, that's right."
Many people feel very distressed when they hear these words, but why is this not a true portrayal of life?
Many times, the circles we squeeze into are useless except to add fatigue to us;
The relationship we carefully maintain is fragile in the face of reality.
I have heard a saying: "Three thousand friends of wine and meat are not as good as three or two confidants who understand you." ”
All relationships in the world are a process of simplifying complexity.
Walking for half a lifetime, getting three or five acquaintances is enough to comfort the wind and dust.
I've seen such a story.
There was a young monk who felt that his daily life was very painful and very troublesome.
Master took him to an empty land and asked, "What do you see when you look up?" ”
The little monk replied, "Sky." ”
"The sky is big, right?" Master said, "But I can cover the whole sky with one hand." ”
The little monk didn't believe it, and the master said, "Well, I'll show you." ”
I saw Master cover his eyes with one palm and ask, "Do you see the sky now?" ”
Then, Master turned the subject around and said:
"In life, some small pains and small troubles, like the palm of this hand, although it looks small, if you can't always put it down, it will cover the light of your life and the whole clear sky." 」
Isn't the experience of the little monk what happened to each of us?
There are always times when we feel that life is tiring, the days are difficult, and it seems that every day we are carrying the weight forward.
But what really traps us is the past that has been accumulated in our hearts for a long time, the past that cannot be put down, and the troubles that cannot be seen.
Only when a person regularly dusts his heart can he return a pure land in his heart.
There's a good saying:
"The more advanced life, the simpler it is. Simplicity to the extreme is great wisdom; simplicity to the extreme, is great beauty. ”
For the rest of your life, useless things should be thrown away; inappropriate relationships, when broken, are broken; and the things that bother you can be put away.
Only when a person gets rid of the complexity of life can he find the fullness of his heart.
Click "Watching", may you not be disturbed by things, not trapped by feelings, and live a simple and comfortable life.
The author | Pure incense, source: Fan Deng reading parenting number (ID: readingclub_yeh)
The anchor | Lin Jing, in the world of sound and words, runs with you to the mountains and seas.
Pictures | Visual China, Network (if there is infringement, please contact to delete)