Author | Fan Deng Reading · Ming Xiaozhi
Anchor | Fan Deng Reading · Ah Cheng
There is a saying in the "Complete Book of the Second Journey": "When a gentleman encounters difficulties and obstacles, he will seek himself instead, and benefit from self-cultivation." ”
In the view of Ercheng, when encountering difficulties, finding reasons and methods from itself is the way to truly solve the problem.
Life is to gradually understand that only you are the most reliable person.
There is a saying: "The mountain will fall, and everyone will run." ”
When the real thing comes, the only thing that can pull you out of the mire is yourself.
When people reach middle age, they are not appealing outwardly, but growing inward.
Yu Dan, a professor at Beijing Normal University, once said:
"We often hear people complain about social injustice and complain about the difficulty of dealing with the world. In fact, instead of complaining about others, it is better to reflect on yourself. ”
Complaining is the stupidest thing in the world, a waste of time and a failure to solve practical problems.
After all, getting out of trouble quickly is the best fight against trouble.
During the Xia Dynasty, the princes youshi led an army to invade the capital of Xia, and Dayu sent his son Bo Qi to lead troops to resist, but was defeated.
Bo Qi's subordinates were very unconvinced, so they said to Bo Qi:
"The Youshi clan is so sinister that they actually use tricks, otherwise how could we lose?"
The subordinates were full of emotion, all scolding the insidiousness of the Youshi clan, only Bo Qi did not say a word, silently pondering there.
Instead of blaming the enemy for the failure, as his subordinates did, he promptly conducted self-reflection:
Although he had many troops and a large number of places and had the advantage, he was still defeated by the Youshi clan, so it must be due to his own lack of virtue and talent.
After thinking about these questions, Bo Qi decided to make some changes.
He began to train the army himself, going to the door to ask the virtuous for advice.
A year later, Bo Qi made a comeback and successfully defeated and subdued the Youhu clan.
It is precisely because of Bo Qi's attitude of being good at self-examination and timely improvement that he finally reversed the defeat and won the victory.
Mencius once said, "Whoever does not do anything wrong, seeks from himself." ”
Failure is not terrible, it is terrible to blame others for mistakes.
Heine once said:
"Introspection is a mirror that clearly illuminates our mistakes and gives us a chance to correct them."
If a person loses the ability to introspect himself, he cannot see his own problems, let alone save himself.
Truly excellent people know how to find reasons from themselves.
When encountering difficulties, we can actively face and adjust in time to create our own glory.
Yang Dai said: "We were so eager for the recognition of the outside world, until we finally realized that the world is our own and has nothing to do with others. ”
Once, we looked forward to the recognition of the outside world, and even for the praise of the outside world, we suppressed our inner yearning.
Now I understand that on this journey of life, only I am the whole world, and the likes and dislikes of others have nothing to do with myself.
In the TV series "Female Psychologist", Mo Yu is an old and good person in the workplace.
He often helps his colleagues to do some things, but what he gets is the indifference and neglect of colleagues.
When his colleague invited him to a party, he was so happy that he spent five thousand dollars to get his hair done, hoping to make a good impression on his colleague, but no one even informed him of the temporary change of location.
Despite his frustration, he brought milk tea to all his colleagues the next day.
At the party that night, colleagues didn't call him.
He went home disappointed, but on his way home, he received a message from a party colleague asking him to help him change the documents.
Despite his reluctance, he replied with difficulty: Okay.
Until later, he refused once, but in exchange for workplace bullying.
Mo Yucai completely woke up, he began to learn to fight back, learned to follow his inner thoughts.
Many times, we are desperate to gain the approval of others and continue to give.
As everyone knows, this is a kind of harm to oneself.
Zhou Guoping wrote in "The Soul Can Only Walk Alone":
"As long as your mind is lively and sharp, as long as you listen to the command of this heart and do what can really make it happy, then no matter what you have finally accomplished, and no matter what society evaluates your achievements, you have lived a meaningful and creative life." 」
A person's life is a process of getting rid of the expectations of others, a process of finding oneself and fulfilling oneself.
The wise delight themselves, and the fool delights others.
Only by following your own heart, not pursuing the expectations of others, and strengthening your own pace can you live the most wonderful self.
Tagore said:
"Once the bird is tied with golden wings, it can't fly high."
The abundance of foreign objects is both a glorious robe and a chain of bondage.
As with the famous "birdcage effect":
Once, James made a bet with his friend Carlson to see if he could get Carlson to keep a bird for a short time.
When Carlson heard this, he disagreed, thinking that James had lost.
James first gave Carlson an exquisite bird cage, and when Carlson saw it, he told James not to bother, he would not keep birds.
But then, when a guest came to Carlson's house, they saw an empty birdcage and asked Carlson, "When did your bird die?" ”
Carlson had to keep explaining to the guests: "This is just a birdcage sent by a friend." ”
But such an explanation is exchanged for the confused eyes of the guests.
In desperation, Carlson had to buy a bird.
The birdcage effect tells us that when we have something, we unconsciously continue to add new things, and eventually fall into the pursuit of external objects.
Zhang Boju is a famous collector
Some people say that nearly half of the top calligraphy and painting collections in the Palace Museum were donated by Zhang Boju.
This is not an exaggeration, he has 118 top calligraphy and paintings in his collection.
But he didn't treat the collection as furniture like other collectors.
Instead, he donated it all to the Palace Museum and the Jilin Museum.
He said: "To give to the collection, there is no need to give the body forever, in order to give, but to keep the land forever, and the generations will be ready." ”
In the face of the priceless collection, Zhang Boju did not insist on possessing it alone, but hoped to pass on these things.
The Buddhist language has clouds:
"In life, one more thing is more than one heart, one less thing is less than one thought, don't be bound by external objects, and if you are at ease, you can see the nature of the mind."
The more a person has, the easier it is to be tied up; the more he lets go, the more he will be able to see his heart clearly.
Only by getting rid of the obsession with external objects and returning to the true nature of life, without being tied up in it or clinging to it, can we glimpse our own mental nature and gain true freedom.
Wang Yangming said: "I am self-sufficient and do not ask for anything. ”
The answers that can really solve the problem are actually in your heart, and constantly searching inward is the fundamental way.
A transparent life is not the breadth of outward extension, but the depth of inward exploration.
A person, the less he pursues outwardly, the less burden he has, and the easier it is to obtain happiness;
The more a person looks inward, the richer his heart is, the easier it is to attain happiness.
Click "looking", may we all stop appealing outward, focus on growing inward, and live our own different lives.
Author | Ming Xiaozhi, meet you in the fireworks of the world.
Editor-in-Chief | A doctor
Typography | Zheng to the north
Music | Birds on the Empty Mountain