Someone on the Internet asked: "Why is self-discipline difficult and always painful?" ”
GaoZan replied to the point: "Because they are all pretending to be self-disciplined, they will feel pain." ”
Life is a hoax, and we often shout the slogan of self-discipline while suffering in our hearts.
Once upon a time, we misunderstood that self-discipline was inherently painful.
It wasn't until after crying, suffering, and pain that I suddenly woke up:
Only deliberately, so painful.
The truth of real life is that self-discipline is not painful, pretending to be self-discipline is painful.
See these 3 false self-disciplines clearly, and you can truly find the source of suffering.
In February this year, with the announcement of the results of the examination, my cousin shed tears of disappointment.
The cousin said indignantly, "It's too difficult to go to graduate school!" I was so disciplined and worked so hard that I still didn't get in. ”
For this result, my uncle and aunt are also difficult to accept, but I am not surprised at all.
Once, I happened to be running errands near the library, and knowing that my cousin was studying in the library, I sent a message inviting my cousin to eat hot pot with me.
My cousin replied: "It takes more than an hour to eat hot pot, so I'll read more books." ”
At that time, I was touched by my cousin's self-control and couldn't help but be envious.
However, when I opened my phone during the meal, I saw my cousin in the circle of friends and talking happily with others.
Another time, I had dinner at my cousin's house and read a book with my cousin in the study after lunch.
My cousin sat at her desk, playing with her phone, cutting her nails, and chatting with me from time to time.
Fast forward 3 hours, and my cousin really studied for less than an hour.
When she walked out of the study, my cousin still stretched her waist and said, "I'm so tired, my waist hurts." ”
After more than half a year of self-study, my cousin seems to be very hardworking, often studying until late at night, she is also very self-disciplined, insisting on going to the library every day.
But everything was just an illusion, because her mind was completely out of learning.
In life, such scenes can be seen everywhere.
Some people seem to be exercising to lose weight, but in fact, milk tea, cakes, and hot pot come not to refuse.
Some people claimed not to be addicted to the Internet, and as a result, they just put down their mobile phones and sat down in front of the computer.
Liu Xiaofeng, a professor at Renmin University, said:
"In the process of self-salvation, it is important to be honest with yourself, otherwise it would be impossible to save yourself."
People are always good at deceiving themselves, and superficial self-discipline is far worse than non-self-discipline.
Your performance can only move yourself, but the result will not accompany you to act.
Red dust is chaotic, everything is at will, only the heart follows the goal, in order to reach the far away you want to go.
I have seen a heartfelt sentence: "Many people are not self-disciplined, they are embarrassing themselves." ”
There is a kind of self-discipline, called self-abuse, which is obviously inconsistent with one's own situation, but it must be forced.
Netizen @ Huizi, who loves to eat fish, shared a period of her own experience.
For a while, Keiko saw that several friends were sharing the benefits of getting up early, and she was quite moved.
So Keiko made an early rise plan:
Get up at 6 a.m. every day, eat a nutritious breakfast, and read for 1 hour.
On the first day, Keiko got up from bed in the face of the morning sun and completed the plan happily, feeling very fulfilled.
In the following week, Keiko insisted on getting up early every day, but the original pleasure was long gone, but she felt more and more painful.
After waking up early, Keiko was often dizzy, and once she was confused about making breakfast and forgot to turn off the fire, almost causing a fire.
Keiko's spirit is worse every day, and she is absent-minded at work and has repeatedly made mistakes.
It turned out that Keiko was a nurse who often worked until two or three o'clock in the morning.
In order to force herself to complete the plan to get up early, Keiko will insist on getting up from bed at 6 o'clock even if she sleeps late.
In the end, self-discipline became masochistic, and Keiko persisted for less than 10 days before compromising.
The honey of peter, the arsenic of ru.
In the things that are not good at, how perfect the plan is, how quickly it is played.
Truly mature people never deliberately challenge their own limits, but know how to be selective and self-disciplined.
Writer Lin Yutang is a notoriously lazy man who likes Ge Youliang when he is fine at home.
He also said in a righteous and solemn manner: "The person who can lie in bed is an artist of life." ”
In life, although Lin Yutang is inert and difficult to control, in writing, Lin Yutang has been working tirelessly, writing for at least seven or eight hours a day.
Lin Yutang said: "When I write something, it is also my happiest time. ”
Lin Yutang has been writing for decades, publishing 70 or 80 books and being nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature twice.
As Mr. Lin Yutang said:
"Modern people take life too seriously, and the world is full of troubles."
The best state of life is half restraint and half indulgence.
Self-discipline is not trying to suffer on things you don't like, but trying to turn what you like into habits.
When you have fun, self-discipline comes naturally.
Some people say: "Life is like a string, but it is also tense and relaxed, and it is relaxed and measured." ”
Life is like this, and self-discipline is not.
Once self-discipline is excessive, it becomes a time bomb.
In the United States, there is a boy named Cooney, who died suddenly and suddenly at the age of 20, and the cause of death is thought-provoking.
Cooney is a fitness enthusiast, and in order to achieve his ideal body shape, Keoney began to work out from the age of 16, doing at least three or four high-intensity exercises a week.
One day Cooney suffered from sudden chest pain due to long-term strenuous exercise and supplementation, followed by a diagnosis of impaired heart function.
Doctors advise Cooney to control the number of strenuous exercises, especially weight training, so as not to deteriorate his body.
But Cooney didn't want to stop, and despite the doctor's advice, he maintained the habit of high-intensity exercise several times a week.
As a result, Cooney suddenly fainted on the way home and was taken to the hospital too late.
Coincidentally, Han Bing, a 28-year-old runner in Chengdu, was still sharing a cold with a runner group the day before, and died suddenly the next day.
The reason is that Han Bing still insisted on running during the cold, causing acute myocarditis and sudden death.
Everything in the world is too late.
Whether it is sports, or work and study, any excess will leave regrets.
In a study, they interviewed a number of Columbia alumni and asked them to reminisce about their vacation experiences as students and talk about how they felt in the moment.
Most of the interviewees said they were strict with themselves when they were students, studying almost all the time during the holidays and rarely going out to play.
Looking back now, they regret it and hope to be moderately self-disciplined and feel more about life in the future.
"Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist" writes:
"No criticism is stronger than self-criticism, and no judge is harsher than ourselves."
Being too harsh on yourself, breaking the strings of self-discipline too tightly, and unable to play a beautiful concerto.
Life is relaxed and measured, in order to be at ease, live calmly and comfortably.
Goethe once said:
"Behavior is a mirror, and in front of it, everyone reveals their true face."
Everyone behaves differently, and the living conditions will be very different.
In the face of self-discipline, how you look at it and treat it, you will receive what kind of feedback.
Self-discipline is not a superficial form, not a way to force change, and it is not a destructive over-constraint.
True self-discipline is a good habit of integrating into life, making people feel comfortable and self-consistent.
Click "Watching", may you use the most comfortable way, dance with the self-disciplined hand, and live your life vividly.
The author | Li Kemo, personal public number, Kemo girl.
The anchor | Yi Fan, radio host.
Pictures | Visual China