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Among marriageable men and women, there are two popular words, one is "Ma Bao Man" and the other is "Fu Di Devil". The so-called mother treasure man is that adult men rely too much on their mothers, listen to their mothers in everything, and have no own opinions.
Marry such a man, and life after marriage will be completely in the hands of the man's mother.
And "brother support demon", as the name suggests, is a woman who has a younger brother in the family, for various reasons, after marriage, she also has to bear a series of expenses such as his brother's study, marriage and even buying a house.
Therefore, women will not find a "mother treasure man" when choosing a mate, and men will not choose "supporting brother demons". In recent years, with the gradual change of mainstream thinking, many women have also got rid of the dilemma of "helping brothers and demons".
But a new group of women has emerged, called "pastoral women".
First, the wild collection of gender dividends, women's supremacy
The so-called "pastoral women" are women who attach great importance to their own interests, and most of them are flaunting everywhere in the name of "feminism" to safeguard women's rights.
But he didn't say anything about his obligations. To put it bluntly, they want too much, but they are not willing to give.
If you try to talk to them about gender equality, they will talk to you about feminist thinking. Talk to them about feminist ideas, and they talk to you about men's responsibilities.
Talk to them about women's responsibilities, and they will feel that they are a woman and should let them go everywhere. They will always refute each other with their own set of arguments, and will always stand on the moral high ground.
In fact, their thinking, like the "male power" thinking of the old society, belongs to the other gender that wants to suppress and exploit.
They hope that in their married life, the man will be able to take care of all the daily expenses and take care of his own food and living. But they will not pay for it, nor will they give the same treatment to the man.
Their vision can be described as "shallow". They yearn for the life of Western women, for superior material conditions, and for a full spiritual world.
But they only see the freedom of Western women, but they do not see That Western women also bear their own responsibilities.
They shout "equality between men and women", but they do not understand that true equality between men and women is that women earn as much money as men to support their families and take on family responsibilities.
Starting from this equality, both sides stand at the same height and think about whether the spiritual world can fit together. They want to be free, but they want to be free by binding each other.
Ii. Distorted "Feminism"
The distorted feminism in the mouth of "pastoral women" is only used to cover up their selfish hearts, using this feminist ideology to morally oppress men, hoping to get the bottomless favor of the other party.
But the real "feminism" is gender equalism against sexism, gender oppression, and gender exploitation. Women launched "feminist" movements aimed at promoting gender equality.
The "pastoral woman" does not want to pay the economy in marriage, nor is she willing to take responsibility. Just want to be a vested interest, asking the other party not only to satisfy themselves financially, but also to give themselves meticulous care in the spiritual world.
This kind of thinking is equivalent to creating another kind of gender exploitation and gender oppression.
In fact, if you want to harvest a happy marriage, you can't rely on the efforts of one party alone.
Life after marriage has to face too many practical problems, if you can not support each other, joint management, then marriage seems to have lost its meaning of existence. Whether at the material level or in the spiritual world, it is necessary to be sympathetic to the other party and tolerate the other party.
Third, the cause of the "pastoral girl"
In the marriage relationship, there are also certain reasons why a large number of "pastoral women" will emerge. Nowadays, the society is full of materialism, and many women have gained a very happy life through marriage, at least materially, they can be satisfied.
When the "pastoral woman" sees such a appearance, she will feel that she can also harvest wealth through marriage.
But they ignore that the women themselves are also very good, and their own abilities are enough to enjoy a better life. And while they enjoy life, they also assume family responsibilities.
So while they long for their wealth through marriage, they are not willing to improve themselves.
In addition to the influence of the social environment, there is also the education of the original family. Usually, the "pastoral girl" grows up in a very poor environment or has average family conditions, but her parents do their best to raise her.
Born in a poor family, they naturally have a yearning for money from an early age, and they will tie marriage and wealth together. Girls who were raised by wealth have enjoyed a relatively favorable environment since childhood.
But after all, the family conditions are average, and when she grows up, she cannot accept the life of ordinary people, so the requirements for the other half will be very high.
How can those who have wealth be willing to give their hard-earned money to a person who is unwilling to give anything?
In today's society, there are many excellent women, who are able to obtain a relatively superior material life through their own efforts.
But the "pastoral women" are still dreaming of their own dreams, hoping that they can see the reality as soon as possible, strive to improve themselves, and become people who know how to understand each other in marriage, otherwise they will not harvest a happy life.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Vogel, D. L., & Wester, S. R. (2003). To seek help or not to seek help: The risks of self-disclosure. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50(3), 351.